Cant take anymore :(

[suziavah]

hi everyone

im new to this so bare with me.

my name is suzanne , im 25 and ive suffered severe anxiety and panic disorder since i was 16. i was raped when i was 16 and fell pregnant due to tht. my son since the day he was born has lived with my mother. i suffered bad panic attaks when he was born, the numbeness and tingly, feelin like cant breath etx. though i gt beter without meds and continued to gain my degree and have two more children, throughout the yrs i stil was anxious. wen i fell preg with me youngest me and my partner split. i was alone, and scared and started to suffer again .....social work gt involved to try and help me supposedly . after my daughter was born i did gr8 for first 6 wks with no panic...thn it hit me quite bad . i called my social worker to see if thy cud help me ...and thy took my children away . thyve been living with thr dad now for 7 months. i get supervised contact . im just goin through court at moment to get them bk. nw my panic attack has been constant for around 5 months. with respite of only maybe 10 mins at atime. im 6 and a half stone nw. im soo emotional and low but even writing this i feel numb. my symptoms include. constant sniffin. and cluckin my throat . little coughs . always blowin ma nose to the point my food is coming out. i choke my self i do it so much. my mouth is dry. i cant go out . i cant be on my own . my life is a living hell. if i had the guts a would have ended it by now. i truly truly cant take anymore. i love my children to death and feel im bein punished for being ill. i dont take medication as this is another of my fears. its reli so bad nw. i dnt no wat to do anymore. my cpn cant work with me just now as he said anyone goin through this with their kids will be stressed. wat do i do?? i do not drink or take drugs ive never even sampled a drink. or a drug.

please can someone help me .. im realy needin help. please. are my symptoms normal.

now im cryin which will alsomake me think a cant breath ....aww god a cant do this anymore .

i miss my babies but cant find the strength to get better.
thnks for listenin
x

[JaneC]

Suziavah,

I wish I could think of something to say to help you, what hell you've been through :hugs:

Do you have a psychiatrist you see as well as the cpn?

Jane xx

[Ruby94]

Hello Suziavah, sounds like you've have a really bad time, Poor you :( :hugs: Sometimes it can get hard we all know this and when you in the situation of panicing you just dont know what to do or think. Im very sorry to hear whats been going on i'd love to help you step by step through this it just seems you need someone to talk to, I know for sure you will be back on track in no take please dont give up honey i know you can do this find that inner strength think about the next time you see a smile on your childrens face :) If you want to contact me i will give you my msn address and i would love to help you whenever you need it. Never feel like anythings your fault, you've have it hard for a while now it seems and its going to take time to pick yourself up. Trust me, times the greatest healer.

[suziavah]

thnk u both for ur replies.

yeah i do have a physchiatrist. though i live in a very small twn i only get to c her once evry 3 months.

and yeh ruby tht wud be great to have your supprt ... i ahave msn also .

x

[JaneC]

thnk u both for ur replies.

yeah i do have a physchiatrist. though i live in a very small twn i only get to c her once evry 3 months.

x


Suzanne, when did you last see her? Would it be worth trying to make an appointment, given how bad you are feeling at the mo? - and no wonder you're feeling that way. The cpn surely can't just say, well you're bound to be stressed and leave it at that when you sound so unwell.

I have three kids and can't imagine how awful it would be to have them taken from me - just about the worst thing that could happen to any mum. My heart goes out to you.

I need to log off now but I'll be thinking about you tonight and will look out for you tomorrow xx

[adhiggins]

ur post really touched me, sounds like your having an awful time, but remember your not alone, theres always someone, even the people on here, who will listen and help if they can, although my experiences are different to yours, I know what it feels like when you cant take anymore, but your too scared to end it, I have that alot, all I can say is that things always get better, they never stay bad forever, just as they never stay good, I really hope you can get things sorted, have you spoke to your GP? I fully empathise with your fear of medication, Im on medication and it still scares me, but if you find a doctor who you can trust, they can sometimes work with you to reassure you and find a medication, that whilst, not fixing your problems, gives you a bit of a boost, so your in a posistion to sort them out yourself. Feel free to contact me anytime at all, and please dont feel alone, I hope peoples responses on here give you some hope :)


Kindest Regards,


Andrew:)

[vicky8181]

Oh Hun you are so down you need help tomorrow, You cant be expected to carry on like this.