What else can I do to get my life back? Help!

[Louise82]

Hi, I have suffered panic attacks since 2002 on and off, I had PTSD also which made them worse, but didn't realise. In 2003 I had an good job uptown, was going out, had a lovely partner, then the panic became worse. I gave up my job because the anxiety was getting to much to deal with, got a job closer, and eventually It was so bad I was walking to work or my parents and partner were driving me and picking me up, two years I lived like this, and I just felt exhausted, and gave up my job, and went to the doctor to sign me off. I got so much worse, I would only go out with people I trusted, and it put a hugh strain on me and my partner, we were arguing, and didn't know what to do. We split in 2005 and I moved out on my own, I managed to get it together and was making so much progress, then in 2007 after the death of a close family member, I went out somewhere with friends and had the most worse panic attack ever! I was so embrassed, I just lost control. Since then its got so bad, I now have Agoraphobia though my Panic attacks, I did see a therapist and I am now cured of PTSD with intensive therapy, but i am not seeing her anymore to help me because NHS will only see you for a certain time! I am going short distances, but I feel its not enough, I WANT MY LIFE BACK! My mum pays my bills, gets my shopping, and I am reliant on her, and I do appreciate it, but I want to be able to do it myself! I am 27yrs old and relying on my mum, I miss going out, doing normal stuff, even going to work! I am working so hard at fighting this bloody thing, but it gets so exhausting sometimes and I am only making a bit of progress. I had an awful experience were I had to fight for my life against someone that stalked me, I fought him back 100% and found the strength to escape, that situation I was in caused my problems, so why can't I fight and win against these panic attacks/Agoraphobia???????? Anybody out there in a simliar postion? or does anybody have any advice to give me, or tips?????????? x x

[mapmaker]

Many people here are struggling here too. I'm doing everything you can possibly imagine to deal with my anxiety driven insomnia and anxiety. Vitamins, DBT therapy, daily exercise, medication (which I hate), writing on the NMP forums, going to church each week, essential oils, eating small frequent meals, going to the woods seeking peace, laying down listening to calming music, trying self talk to calm myself, talking to family on the phone, gone to doctors, psychologist. Doing all this for 3 months.....and I'm still stuck in the same anxiety cycle. The only advice I can really give you is. Never give up trying to find a cure.....and NEVER lose hope you will get better. Hope will keep you going through the darkest of times. I've known a friend who had terminal cancer that should have killed him....but he never gave up hope.. he was even suicidal for awhile....but hope kept him going and he eventually recovered. It took two years to recover and now he is well enough to resume his life. Do whatever it takes....keep looking.. keep searching..... find what it will take to get better.

I hope these words will give you some comfort.

[jude uk]

The key point that you have made in this post is that you are fighting. You are trying to take control of your life and that is a positive thing, so keep that as your focus.
Physical things are easier to fight, which you have found from your own experience but the mental issues control us at such a deep level, but that does not mean we wont over-come them.
The mind is a very powerful tool. We only have to watch children at play to see how their imagination can take them into a different world and we are no different to them.
For sometime I have beem wondering "why does our own mind fight against us, why does our own mind fill us with fear?" We would think that it would be to our advantage to have a healthy mind which allowed us to progress in everyway!

I once had a client that was filled with dread everytime they smelt pizza but they could not understand why. Well it turned out she had been coming out of a pizza shop and had been knocked down but her memory of that day had vanished. Under hypnosis she was able to understand and deal with it.
In her case her mind blocked out a bad memory but still left her with difficult emotions through one of her senses.

Agoraphobia can be understood. We know we feel fear but we cant really grasp why, therefore we feel unable to fix it. It may be we never understand why and its not that important as such, the main thing is to put into place a system that will move you forward.

1. write down what you fear
2. write down worst outcome if you are out
3. ask yourself if you could cope but place yourself in someones elses shoes when answering this I.E. what advice would you give to a friend


I want you to set a small goal. Something that you can reach. Lets say increase the distence you go and work on that. when the panic/fear comes try and just allow it to flow..at first you may not achieve this but thats okay. Yet soon you will achieve what you set out to do.

One thing I believe you do is get angry with yourself when you fail. You see failing as a bad thing but remember when the person that invented the light bulb was asked "how did it feel to fail so many times before you got it right" he said "I never fail I just took 72 times to get it right"....so its how we look at it that changes how we feel

You are strong and you will over-come this


be blessed

[Louise2009]

Hi Louise,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I completely understand how you feel.

Are you taking any medication - is it helping?

Louise

[Louise82]

Thx for the messages :), I am on 20mg of Citropram, have tried other meds but they make you feel drowsy and you can't function, so I will only take the Citropram now. I will keep fighting, and will continue to go short distances hopefully I can build on it and go a bit further! :unsure:

[daverc82]

Hey louise, just wanted to say hey an that your in no way alone with this, im 27 too an have been fighting agoraphobia on an off since i was 16 i only had theripy for it a couple years back tho, then i stopped but feel like i need abit more help now so im waiting to here from the theripist which will be next month hopefully! i had to go on sick too im on esa at the moment an they help u get back to work once you feel comfertble enough an feel u can manage it, are u on esa?. But it does get better! like you said start off with small steps, an build your way up :) i find it helps doing it that way too, ive resontly started going on short walks with my mp3 player, which helps as a distraction yanno..like something calm to listen too will help alot, also its best to only go on lil walks in the daytime an were u know its safe yanno, i live right near the beach so thats an ok place to walk up too..but not made it that far on my own yet! im just building up so might go too the shops an back or just round the block :). Ok talk to ya soon louise, let me know how things are going your welcome to email me if ya like too if ever u want to chat. Hope to speak to ya soon

dave x

[Jac 2009]

Good morning, Louise and everyone!
I'm new to this - only joined a couple of days ago. I've had panic attacks for nineteen years since my daughter died. The trouble is that they become a way of life and are self perpetuating.

I used to suffer from terrible agrophobia - my mum had to stay with me for months, I could hardly go out on my own etc. The year after my daughter died, I was doing a year's post graduate teacher training. This meant I had to go to college 20 miles away and placements at schools. It was the worse year of my life. I don't know how I did it but I did and I've been a teacher for 18 years. If I didn't have my job, I know I would descend into never leaving the house.

These are some things you could try Louise. Make small goals for yourself - walking to the corner or the shops. It is awful the first time but keep going and it gets better. Once you can do that, then move on to something a little more difficult - only a little and so on. It really works - it did for me. Also pat yourself on the back when you have achieved something - smile and laugh and jump around the room going -YAY!

Distraction is one thing which really works. Talking to someone is good - not about how you're feeling but just talking. Try to find something which occupies your whole brain - not easy I know. Watching tv or reading doesn't do it. Puzzles can be good.

Confronting panic also works as well as making you feel good after your panic has gone. As an attack starts, say to yourself, come on then you ******* - get on with, you don't frighten me. Even though it does, of course, frighten you, actually saying the words does help. If you can see each panic through, without trying to avoid it, each time will be easier.

Hey, sorry, I've gone on. But advising you has made me feel better!!

Jac

[PoppyC]

Hi Louise
It sounds like you have been through some tough times. I am sorry.
You are not alone in how you feel. I have agoraphobia on and off, but at the moment it is really bad. I did not realise there were so many people with agoraphobia until I joined this site, which in a way has really helped me, because I don't feel so alone in how I feel.
I am ok outdoors with my safe person, however he is not around, and I have to go out today to do some things that I cannot put off doing any longer. I live in quite a rural area so nothing is close by.
I am dreading it - and this is on 40mg Citalopram! - I think medications help with anxiety but for specific phobias I don't think they help that much as the only way to deal with a phobia is to keep trying to confront it in order to overcome the fear, but that is just my own opinion.
I feel sick at the thought of going out, and I am walking to the places I have to go to, but I am going to listen to some music when I am out, which does help me.
Someone posted on this site some really helpful advice about breaking journeys into small steps and that is what I am going to do rather than look at it as one whole long scary journey...to the first tree, to the first road, to the first shop and so on.... I am also going to treat myself to something new as well for reward. A few months ago I was petrified of walking down the road but now that doesn't bother me too much, its when I go further, so I am going to keep trying to get further so that eventually it doesn't bother me so much like walking down the road doesn't.
My relationship suffered too because of how I am. I still think that if someone truly loves you then they stay rather than go.
I wish I could tell you a specific way of dealing with agoraphobia. I have tried everything there is, and the only way I think of dealing with it is to constantly persist in trying to overcome the fear like with any phobia, no matter how difficult it may seem.
I hope you manage to overcome your agoraphobia, even if it is only a small amount.
Your mum sounds lovely. Let her help you for now and tell yourself you won't always be in this situation and one day you will be helping her, if she needs you, in return.

[Gaza]

Hi Louise,

I am a new member to the panic forum and although suffer with panic attacks for several years now, I have learnt some very hard and valuable lessons along the way and one thing for sure 'do not fight with them' it'll only make them worse...learn to surrender to them. The fear (fight or flight) that's been triggered from the loss of a friend or loved one can magnify the symptoms and make you withdraw even more. We all withdraw from the world from time to time and need a break.....the problem becomes worse when we don't want to face the world anymore, or at least not on our own.....the fear is too great to walk out the door and get your life back.

When you learn to surrender to yourself (as so to speak) you let go and release that tense hold on yourself, that really only adds to your problems. Too many people say fight it and be strong, well that's very misleading as you sometimes don't have the energy or internal reserves to meet such a demanding challenge......you are better off allowing any feelings, sensations to come and wash over you and then move forward slowly....NO HURRY, NO WORRY! Stay focused on these couple of words and you'll soon begin to rebuild the strength and staminer you need to meet your daily tasks and if you feel you are unable too, then 'NO PRESSURE' simply step back and wait it out.

STRESSED OUT will just burn you out more and you feel more exhausted...so every thing at a moderate pace. You say in your post (so why can't I fight and win against these panic attacks/Agoraphobia????????) because that produces too much adrenaline and stress hormones that will only hold your body back from being healed.

You need more of a chilled approach, I was more anxious and wanted to get ahead all the time and constantly stressed over being the best or good at something, a self esteem thing. Then I realised I was competing with myself, no body else really cared whether I won or lost at life and you too have to give yourself a break and a big pat on the back for your endurance and the fight to get your life back....trust me it's there for the taking, just not the way your doing it. Let it happen and all will return to normal, it may take some time for you to feel like your old self, but your still in there and the nerves are over working and causing you nothing but grief, ttake a big long deep breath and let out a great big sigh and relax.

All the best to anyone on this forum who is struggling with the damn panic disorder or any nervousness - just let it be, no more hassle or fighting with yourself and you will recover - guaranteed. Take the biggest tranquilizer of all and be kind to yourself.

God bless (anyone need a chat or advise then contact me)
Gaza

(Panic attack suffer for over twenty years - learned to control symptoms more effectively with being more chilled with myself and have let a lot of things go)

[Laura_2301]

Hiya All,

Im new to this site, but have had agoraphobia for a long time now.

I was reading the posts about medication - I have not took any medication for almost 10 years!!! Not even an asprin or contraception pill, I also have trouble touching medication. It freaks me out, If I have to touch any kind of medicine bottles or pills I put rubber gloves on & scrub my hands afterwards.

I cant get out to see the Doctor about my agoraphobia b/c I cant leave the friggin house without breaking into a sweat, pounding heart, getting dizzy (I dont need to explain what going out feels like, I think we all know)

What kind of medication are the rest of you taking.....side effects etc etc, I even get panicky about maybe having to bite the bullet & see the Doctor about taking some pills.

I want to beat this awful condition that I would never wish on my worst enemy....I used to be extremely confident, but now I turn into a quivering wreck when someone mentions going outside.


Does anyone know if this thing can be beaten without medication / therapists, the thought of taking tabs or talking to a shrink makes me anxious too :S Or is willpower not enough to beat this. By willpower I mean having the strength to push myself to go out & take a few steps each day, going further & further each day.....and hopefully getting to the point where I can go out alone feel panicky about being out...or am I kidding myself thinking I will ever be able to go out :unsure:
Laura

[cupcakes2009]

Hey im 27 to and have Agoraphobia to, i live with my husband and he is my safe person, i can go out a little way now in the car and i can drive to, i went into the village shop today ON MY OWN my husband waited in the car, i was so proud of myself, its taken 5 years to get that far! never give up fighting, i fight every day with this SH*T, i feel tired so drained everything. I take medication 225mg of Venlafaxine and 10mg of Buspirone (which they are going to increase) I also suffer from Depression but im doing ok at the moment with that, severe panic attacks and Anxiety and Health Anxietys to add to the pot.

I would love to make friends with any of you to chat to etc, share help stories etc. Please message me and i will get back, i have msn also to chat :D

Keep your chins up i know its hard as i have to do it to

Katy xx