Hello i am new here and need a freind.

[geraldine]

Hello i have written on here once before in desperation.
I have been feeling poorly on and off for 5 yrs with panic
attacks and everything that comes with it i do get desperate
from time to time as this has affected my whole body
and my gut function problems have got worse.
I had a histerectomy at 40 then one night i woke up feeling
so ill the doc came out he said my blood pressure was v high
but i should not feel ill as i do with it,i felt so ill i thought i was going to die.
I must ad that untill this night 5 yrs ago i was very well but for the last 5 yrs since that night my life has changed and i have had to give up my horses and i cant work ,if this is panic attacks it comes at any time and i shake and feel very unwell and sick and my gut seems to weired and i get gas and bloating after i have fast heart beat which makes my chest ache and seem tight and numbness in my face and lips and tounge,after i feel worn out and have joint pain and my eyes seem sore and blood shot .
this over time has caused problems with my gut and stomach which is now
on going most days ,i have gas build up my food seems to ferment and this all causes more ill feeling.
I was 45 when i had my first attack of this i have not been well since i have had many tests but they find nothing .
This is affecting my mental welfare and i have thought suicide 3 times now
i feel worn out and i cant live my life or make plans .
Thank you so much for listening..................hugs to you all.

[diane07]

Hi geraldine

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[Maj]

Hi Geraldine,

These all sound like anxiety symptoms but you also could have acid reflux as well which can irritate your stomach. Stress also makes this worse. I suffer from this and take lansoprazol every day. You say you were okay until you were 45 and then got worse - do you think your hormones could have anything to do with it? Please tell your doctor how bad you feel and that you have had suicide thoughts because you really do need some help to get through this instead of struggling on your own. With the right help and support you can turn a corner and feel better again. I think all the struggling and battling on wears you out and you get stuck in a groove of anxiety. You'll get a lot of advice and support from people on this site who have felt just like you, but please get the help of your doctor as well.
Take care
Myra:hugs:

[geraldine]

Hi and thank you for your fast replies I had a bad night last night and this morning i still feel unwell and my eyes are sore and keep running, all this illness can make one feel so alone.
I have been to docs and i am under the endocrine clinic i have had many tests and they have found nothing as yet the endocrine think i may have a small tumour that causes me to have adrenilyne rushes which causes panic attack symptons these symptons have also given me gut problems for years.
I feel so alone with this i was a horse owner and trainer it was my life i have had to give it all up and i can not go far from home as the attacks come at any time my life is hell and i feel like its ageing me to how ever i do have the odd good day ,its a loosing battle as i suffer from high blood pressure to.
Thank you for your kind words i feel so alone and tired right now i do have a cry it helps i think.
Hugs to all the ppl that have panic disorder and other illness thank you again for listening :hugs:

[gypsywomen]

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:hello well i feel for you,its strange how you an feel fine, then wake up one day with this hell that we cant understand. i agree with Myra if you are having suicidal thoughts would be good to talk to Doctor,,,its strange we are scared something bad will happen when we have attack and yet we feel like ending it all its catch 22,its a shame you can no longer work with horses as they say animals help when we have this its a fact ,why dont you try it wont hurt to be around horses love maggie

[geraldine]

Hello Maggie thank you for your reply.
I am so frightened to go to far from home incase i have an attack whilst driving this has happened to me to many times i had 10 horses all rescued i had been nursing sick horses most of my life i had my own yard for 25 yrs.
I have persian cats now i hope to breed next year i can do that from home.
I have lost most of my freinds as i do not go far from home i do get so lonely i have 1 sister who has a busy life i hate to keep worrying her.
I go to karaoke local as i love singing and i have a workshop where i design and make things but when i feel unwell i lose interest and my eyes goes blurry at times i do have glasses how ever.
At the moment i am becoming poorly when i go to bed i have a build up of stomach gas that gives me pain in my chest i get numbness and palpitations which makes my chest ache and my blood pressure goes up high i am on medication for bp but it seems to over ride it when im not well.
I land up going to sleep about 3/4 am and in the morning i feel worn out and have sore eyes and tenderness in my upper tummy under ribs.
The attacks may leave me for a week or 2 then come back but in between i am unwell most nights and days with stomach problems.
Endocrine think i may have a tumour i am still under investigation i wish they could just find it and remove it if this is the case so i can have a good life again its been 5 yrs of constant illness sometimes i am desperate to get away and be well.
Sorry to go on hugs to you all.:hugs:

[gypsywomen]

GERLDINE you are not going on it good to talk..glad you have cats ,they will be company,, i love music to it helps me a lot i listen to it all the time ,,glad you ca get out that's good ...its the illness that prevents us from doing the things we love ,,and that's the sad thing,,you are very kind to look after the horses ,we need people like you ,,my daughter has a horse ruby she is a beauty but not been ridden yet ,, she is 2 looks like a racehorse,highly strung but my daughter looks after her very well ,,so n who to contact about her lol ,,,i think you are a brave lady love maggie:hugs::shades::shades::shades::shades::shade s::shades:

[magpie girl]

hi geraldine,and welcome to the forum:D I too had to give up my horses due to ill health and i can relate to the acid reflux,and the constant bloated belly.:weep::weep:im sure you will find find lots of friendly advice on here and meet lots of new friends xxxxx

[bellalew]

:flowers:hi geraldine,sorry for the late reply,had break down on comp.you asked what was r.a,its rhematiod athritis,and s.a.d,its basicly a winter depresion alot of pepole get when the days draw in, you can read up on it on the web, yst punch in s.a.d,its all apart of the nerves which such as us are to familiar whith.my r.a,caused me 3yrs ago to finish work,being in so much pain by it,i have had 1 operation on my hand and should have gon in again in may but the morning fo my op i had a full blown panic attack and yst couldnt go through with it,ever since that day iv had panic attks,since,my hands are becoming crooked whith this r a,its bone desease and is incurable,can be slowed dwn by medication,but the med has long term affects,swings and round abouts as they say.my passion is springer spaniels i used to breed them few yrs ago but had to stop whith the r a,i have 3 at the min ,mum daughter(old laddies now bless)but got a new addition a month ago,they keep me going in many ways,but on bad days im hous,bound, agravatingly!.i was sad to here why you had to give your passion up geraldine,your illness touched me it must be awfull,i feel for you,but i hope chatting with me and others helps to unburden some of your woes.take care love,try to keep your chin up.xEllen.xxx

[gypsywomen]

http://i207.photobucket.com/albums/bb279/wolfwoman_bucket/ATT2.jpg

[sue681]

Ive been suffering with what you call " acid reflux " did'nt know what it was untill u just described it ( just been and looked it up too), bloating stomach ,heart burn and that horrible pain in yr chest around yr bra line because of to much built up gas apprently caused buy nervous stress and tention( the times i thought it wa my heart )..i suffer with bad anxiety !
thanku x