Back Again

[Nicomi]

I don't come on here very often. I get to stages where things are under control. I've been off Citalopram for 6 months now, my CBT has finished and I'm on my own. But it's back, my fear is always the same, that my husband and I will lose our business and so our income. I know that there must be thousands of people out there in similar or worse situations but I wake each morning with my heart pounding dreading what the day will bring. I hate my job but am stuck in it because it is our own business. My husband is trying to get something new off the ground and is horribly stressed which makes me even more anxious. I have had some Tamazapam prescribed to help me sleep because I am so exhausted. The thing is we have a good life, however tight things get we are still making a living, I have two fabulous children but I feel anxious all the time and have started to have the odd panic attack again. This has been going on for three years now and is really getting to me. I don't want to go back on Citalopram I want to just be me again but she, the old me, seems lost to me now. I've managed to book in for a back massage tonight so I can have a little bit of me time. Perhaps this is the answer, one bit of time for me each week but I spend my time worrying about the cost or that my husband is annoyed with me for leaving him to deal with the kids when he could be working, aaaggghhh it's endless.

[Maj]

Hi,

I know how you feel, you plod on for a while and then those old fears come back again. It's maybe because of the economic problem at the moment that you are worrying about your business. I feel for anyone trying to run a business at the moment as it's an awful worry that things will keep going. So I don't think your worries are unreasonable. When you do tend to be an anxious person though you always think about the "what if's" in the future. You probably do need to find some time for yourself as most people I know who run a business are occupied by it 24 hours a day, always being on their mind. If you have a good standard of living you don't want to lose it and you want your children to benefit from it. Yes, I'd try to take some time out without feeling guilty - you are only human and need some T.L.C. I'm sure you'll feel better again as time passes. This is only a blip!!
Myra x

[Nicomi]

Thanks for that. Today is even worse, I've been awake since 3.30. I am really tearful which is really unusual for me. I have just tried to make a doctors appointment but they can't see me until Monday and at a time when i will have the children. I am trying to keep myself calm but know I have got myself into a cycle.

I have talked with my husband this morning which has helped, I just worry that i am putting him under more pressure that he doesn't need either. Oh well, get on with the day and try and get a grip.

[MOJO]

I'm sorry you are having a bad time. You need to look after yourself and not feel guilty about having some time to yourself whenever possible. I know it's not easy to find time but it is important. Do you have any relaxation cd's to use? They can be quite helpful if you use them every day. I hope you get some help when you go to the doctor on Monday. It's not too far away so keep strong until then. Good luck and take care.
Judy.xx:hugs:

[Nicomi]

I've never used relaxation CD's. Do you mean the plinky plonk whale noise type thing or the hypnotherapy ones. I was having a quick look on Amazon - any recommendations?

Thanks

Naomi

[MOJO]

No I didn't mean the whale/water/leaves rustling etc. noises!! I was thinking more of hypnotherapy ones or just all over muscle relaxing/breathing ones. There are loads to choose from. I mostly use a muscle relaxing one I got from "No panic" an organisation I joined (only costs £12 per year) they also do one to one mentoring courses and telephone recovery courses. I have also seen that quite a lot of people on here like the hypnotherapy cd's by Glenn Harold (not sure if I've spelt that right!)
Judy.xxx