reassurance? :-(

[littlemoomin]

Hello
I have read alot on this forum. It is really helpful...
Sorry then if this seems an obvious plea.

Last week I had a lightbulb moment, and diagnosed myself with OCD after something happened to me (OCD of the thoughts kind).. In the past I put my thoughts down to anxiety (went on citalopram-got better-thoughts went away for over a year)

...Then last week out of absolutely NOWHERE (so annoying!) I had the most awful thought about harming my other half. It was so disturbing, I don't know where my mind conjoured it up from... Then what happened was that I was so freaked out and upset at myself I started getting really anxious about having the thought, and for a week I have felt really upset, anxious and delicate and terrified I would do such a bad thing. It's the what if? worry, and worrying that it will be so strong I might lose the plot..

Now I don't think the stuff if I am busy, but if I am on my own with him, I start thinking about the fact I had this awful thought ( not the thought itself-does that make sense?), and its almost like an association ( triggers me thinking about it)

I am so worried I will have this forever..
Will it fade?
Will I laugh at it one day and think I was silly?

Please share your uplifiting stories about this xxxx

[valleybear]

I was in your position a long number of years ago and at one point could not look at a knife!! Sounds silly now but at that time I had anxiety and depression and had to have medication. The thoughts are only thoughts and not even meaningful,and you must not punish yourself or feel guilty . Many people have had these and have recovered never to have them again....myself included, so you will be fine. Why not mention to your Dr if it is distressing you, he may be able to help you through this patch. Try not to worry and let things heal...it will not last forever XX:bighug1: