PDA

View Full Version : Hi,I have a panic disorder, but want to propose to my girlfriend



sam100
29-10-09, 12:00
Im now 38 and have never been nervous depressed or anxious about anything. About 8 years ago I was with my current girlfriend, we were just starting to see each other. over a weekend she came down to stay and wanted to confirm we were a serious item. I felt nervous about this as I had been alone for a long time but kind of confirmed we were. When she left I plummeted into what I thought was a breakdown, I felt as though someone had died my heart was racing and had constant panic and nervousness. At this time I drank wine to be able to get away from fear of death and doom.It took me about a month to get back to some kind of normal life everything about myself had been turned upside down by this experience.
6 years later still with my girlfriend and by now we have moved in together, we discuss having a baby, her sister has had some miss carriages so I suggested while we were talking we should try this year. No sooner had the words left my mouth I had the same "attack" as 6 years previous happened. This lasted for maybe 10 seconds then the same feeling of doom for a month or so, which was over christmas unfortunately.
I now have had them happen every few months but not as intense, as in I think being used to what happens takes the drama away, but it still renders my life a misery a lot of the time and gets to the stage where I think Im never going to be the happy person I was ever again.
I am going to new york on saturday and plan to propose to my girlfriend, but as you can imagine I am worried that the fear of attack will ruin my break and the moment itself will trigger panic and doom.
I dont consider being with my girlfriend is causing this, as in is she right for me, its just the decision making and emotional decisions cause a panic dis order, but I also get them out of the blue as well, jobs fine, relationships and family are great,... boom panic and darkness.
I went to the doctor for the first time about it yesterday and thats why Im here. Any help or advice would be much appreciated to say the least!

I feel for many of you here when I hear the descriptions of the dark feelings and doom and know what it is like and how it can never be explained to others to understand how bad we feel, I talk about it with my girlfriend but know she doesn't understand exactly what its like, and if it happens in new york I have to hide it from her as she will feel my proposal has caused it and it will spoil everything.

Sam

Maj
29-10-09, 12:33
Hi,

I'm sorry anxiety is blighting your life at the moment when you feel as though you are happy and have everything going for you. Sometimes I think it can be the thought of the added responsibility of having a family and the basic instinct that you will be the "provider" for the rest of your life. Many men will feel like you do. Infact, I remember my husband telling me of his overwhelming feeling of responsibility after our son was born even although he was delighted. You've taken the first step and seen your doctor about how you feel. Anxiety is horrible but you can accept how you feel and learn how to cope. You'll get lots of support on this site from people going through the same as you. Go ahead and propose to your girlfriend in New York - don't worry about the "what if's"!! Have a wonderful time and take it all as it comes.
Regards
Myra:yesyes:
p.s. and go the The View revolving bar and restaurant in the Marriot Marquis hotel and have a cocktail - it's amazing:D