sam100
29-10-09, 12:00
Im now 38 and have never been nervous depressed or anxious about anything. About 8 years ago I was with my current girlfriend, we were just starting to see each other. over a weekend she came down to stay and wanted to confirm we were a serious item. I felt nervous about this as I had been alone for a long time but kind of confirmed we were. When she left I plummeted into what I thought was a breakdown, I felt as though someone had died my heart was racing and had constant panic and nervousness. At this time I drank wine to be able to get away from fear of death and doom.It took me about a month to get back to some kind of normal life everything about myself had been turned upside down by this experience.
6 years later still with my girlfriend and by now we have moved in together, we discuss having a baby, her sister has had some miss carriages so I suggested while we were talking we should try this year. No sooner had the words left my mouth I had the same "attack" as 6 years previous happened. This lasted for maybe 10 seconds then the same feeling of doom for a month or so, which was over christmas unfortunately.
I now have had them happen every few months but not as intense, as in I think being used to what happens takes the drama away, but it still renders my life a misery a lot of the time and gets to the stage where I think Im never going to be the happy person I was ever again.
I am going to new york on saturday and plan to propose to my girlfriend, but as you can imagine I am worried that the fear of attack will ruin my break and the moment itself will trigger panic and doom.
I dont consider being with my girlfriend is causing this, as in is she right for me, its just the decision making and emotional decisions cause a panic dis order, but I also get them out of the blue as well, jobs fine, relationships and family are great,... boom panic and darkness.
I went to the doctor for the first time about it yesterday and thats why Im here. Any help or advice would be much appreciated to say the least!
I feel for many of you here when I hear the descriptions of the dark feelings and doom and know what it is like and how it can never be explained to others to understand how bad we feel, I talk about it with my girlfriend but know she doesn't understand exactly what its like, and if it happens in new york I have to hide it from her as she will feel my proposal has caused it and it will spoil everything.
Sam
6 years later still with my girlfriend and by now we have moved in together, we discuss having a baby, her sister has had some miss carriages so I suggested while we were talking we should try this year. No sooner had the words left my mouth I had the same "attack" as 6 years previous happened. This lasted for maybe 10 seconds then the same feeling of doom for a month or so, which was over christmas unfortunately.
I now have had them happen every few months but not as intense, as in I think being used to what happens takes the drama away, but it still renders my life a misery a lot of the time and gets to the stage where I think Im never going to be the happy person I was ever again.
I am going to new york on saturday and plan to propose to my girlfriend, but as you can imagine I am worried that the fear of attack will ruin my break and the moment itself will trigger panic and doom.
I dont consider being with my girlfriend is causing this, as in is she right for me, its just the decision making and emotional decisions cause a panic dis order, but I also get them out of the blue as well, jobs fine, relationships and family are great,... boom panic and darkness.
I went to the doctor for the first time about it yesterday and thats why Im here. Any help or advice would be much appreciated to say the least!
I feel for many of you here when I hear the descriptions of the dark feelings and doom and know what it is like and how it can never be explained to others to understand how bad we feel, I talk about it with my girlfriend but know she doesn't understand exactly what its like, and if it happens in new york I have to hide it from her as she will feel my proposal has caused it and it will spoil everything.
Sam