Going through hell!

[PaulR]

I am having a really bad time at the moment when I should be enjoying myself. I have a great wife who has just given birth to our 4th child (he's two weeks old)
However I am convinced I'm going to die soon. Whether it be from Swine flu (i'm terrified of it as I have bronchial infections alot and asthma), heart attack, getting cancer. You name it I think I'm going to die from it very soon.
I just can't take it anymore. I've had phlegm in the back of my nose and throat for months and nothing shifts it, even antibiotics from the doctor. I googled and it sounds like globus or pnd but I still think its serious and if I get the dreaded pig flu I'll die within days.
Tonight I feel hot and got a burning sensation under my skin even though I'm cold to touch and temp is normal. But whatever it is I'm going to die.
I'm sending myself mad. I've even looked into what songs i'd like played at my funeral etc. Its no way for a 31 year old to live but I can't help myself.

Sorry for the rant. I hope you are all coping well with your anxiety. I'm off to cry some more. :weep:

[nomorepanic]

Hi Paul

Have a read of the Health Anxiety leaflet in the NMP shop here:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=76

It may help anyway.

[Jac 2009]

Hey Paul,
I've got one word for you - STOP! Actually I, of course, have a lot more!

I do this imagining my death thing all the time. I'm driving home from work in the car and I imagine the scenario! I was at a wedding a couple of years ago and all I could think about was hoping I could get through the day before I died so as not to upset the young couple!

I know exactly how you feel - you are in a horrible vicious cycle of negative thoughts and physical reactions. It's easy to give advice but take some time to rejoice in the positive - your new baby (forget the responsibility for a bit.) I'm trying CBT which redirects negative thoughts into positives ones amongst other things. One thing which does work for me when I remember to do it, is to notice things - when you're driving, notice the signs, the trees, the people and talk to yourself about them. This takes your mind off yourself for a while and we are all so sick of ourselves!

Good luck to you. xxxx
ps - thinking about this - my latest bout of panic came on when my first grandchild was born about four months ago. I gave it a lot of thought at the time and I came to the conclusion that a new life meant new priorities for my daughter and my family. This meant that I could not expect or count on the same level of support. This was me being needy and selfish - and it's good to be able to admit to this.

[Kelly326]

PaulR, First I would like to say congrats on the baby!! Iknow exactly how you feel. I have been dealing with HA for a little over a year it had gotten better but I still have those thoughts "what if I die" I realized though that I spent a year thinking those thoughts and I missed out on my kids!!! I literally lost a whole year of my life with them. I was afraid to go out places and I sat on the computer looking things up and I couldn't concentrate on anything they were doing because I had these thoughts in the back of my mind. No matter how much you worry just remember you can't change anything by worrying. I know it's hard I still have times when I focus on the neg. stuff but things have gotten better for me. I would love to have a fourth child I have been thinking about it for a while. I just hope I can go through that now that I have HA. Good luck with everything and stay healthy!