Am I depressed? Or just cynical/pessimistic/nihilistic/realistic?

[tiredzombie]

I'm just so sick of feeling apathetic. It's like I'm just drifting through life, going through the motions, but it's all kind of hollow. I don't want to be where I am now, but I don't know where I do want to be. I can't imagine myself feeling happy or fulfilled doing anything. So it's kind of hard to set myself goals, or motivate myself to do anything big. Maybe I'm just lazy. I certainly feel guilty about it sometimes. With all the terrible stuff people deal with, and here I am just not caring much about anything, making my own problems. But guilt just isn't enough to keep me going.

I don't know whether I feel like this because I'm depressed, or if I'm just a self-indulgent git. I'm on meds at the mo for depression, and it feels like they've given me a bit more energy (along with some nasty side-effects.) But I still have times when I just feel utterly empty, and I kind of feel desperate to escape, but I don't know where to. Am also signed up for a course to help me deal with anxiety to make re-engaging with the world easier. But maybe neither of these things is the problem. Maybe I just have an attitude problem. Maybe I just need a good talking to. Maybe I should just accept that this is how life is, and get on with it?

[hopers]

im sorry to hear you are stuggling, deppresthion can be a lonley road and we all feel like giving up at some point that fact that you are questioning the situathion you are in maybe means yr ready to give it another go with one last push,

by what youve sed i belive you have depprestion maybe go bk and speak to your doctor again , do you have suport around you to help in his time of need soport is of the up most important weather it be a family meber or a freind or even some working in mentel health

i do hope things get better for you maybe pop into chat one day if you ever need sopport

hugs and fishes
hopers

[Veronica H]

Anxiety is certainly an illness of how we think and this constant questioning is very common with anxiety/depression. The fact that the meds have given you a lift suggests that you were becoming depressed. You will be sensitising your nerves with this constant questioning and so need to break this cycle for a bit! Easier said than done I know.

There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a fellow sufferer who really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.

Veronica

[onceagain]

Hi

Going through a very similar thing myself at the moment, I'll go from almost a shock like experience where I cannot function to completely anxious just because things go through my mind and I want to run away from it but can't cos its inside of me.

I wish you well and we all deserve to be happy so lets hope that one day will be the light at the end of the tunnel for us all :hugs:

[NoPoet]

Hi, I experience this too, constant motivation problems which mean I end up wandering through life without achieving much of anything.

One way to fight back is to take pleasure in the small things. Once you've done something, reward yourself by relaxing or doing something you enjoy. Set yourself smaller goals rather than big, imposing targets which will put you off.

A small amount of exercise each day will help, even if it's just walking up and down the stairs in your house.