It's creeping back :(

[shortstuff]

I've been away from the forum for quite a while now, as I felt a break from everything 'panic' would help my recovery.
I moved house and job in August/Septmeber and managed the transition without issue. I've seen my new GP and we disussed my treatment history and next steps. After successful CBT and SSRI treatment, I was planning to come off the medication after Christmas.

I've had a few symptoms over the last few weeks, including a few of the old agoraphobic traits, but for the most part have not let them worry me. Now the panic attacks are coming back and I'm gutted. I really thought that CBT had cracked it and don't know what to do for the best.

How common are setbacks after successful treatment? Is it possible to be completely 'cured' or should I accept that this is part of my rollercoaster of life?

It's so frustrating :wall:

[Maj]

Hi,

Setbacks are part of recovery. The more you go through them the stronger you get. You'll find that they come when you are a wee bit anxious again because memory alone will bring them, but if you accept this then you'll be on the road to recovery again. No wonder you are anxious after moving house and starting a new job - you are only human!!
Regards
Myra:flowers:

[shortstuff]

Thanks Myra. I just can't bare the thought of it taking hold again. The once familiar tight chest of anxiety seems to be lingering again and I think its that which is worrying me most. The management at my new job don't know about my history of axiety and panic, and I'd rather it stayed that way.

As you say though, I must keep reminding myself that I am only human and have taken on a lot recently. Let's hope it's a minor setback.

[lizzie29]

Hi

I was just about to post a similar message! I've had a really bad year - my husband stole my identity and committed fraud, I found out our 6 years together were all based on lies, we got divorced, we're still trying to sort out the financial side of it all, he's told loads of lies about me to people... this person up until a year ago was my "safe person" who I couldn't be without over night, or even for an evening. Then in July I moved out to a new house, which was something I coldn't have even imagined doing, until I had no choice and had to. I shocked myself - I was loads better than expected. I felt a bit anxious the first few nights, and was struggling to eat properly (something which I find difficult when anxious) but then I really started to enjoy it and felt so confident and proud.

Over the last couple of weeks though, panic has started kicking in again. Even in normal situations which I've been in recently and haven't bothered me. I'm so disappointed, because I felt like I was doing so well and now I've gone backwards. I'm trying to look at it as a test though. The panic knows I'm capable of beating it, and wants me to keep on proving it. Without experiencing it, I could become almost blase about it, but if I feel panicky and beat it, I'm only further enhancing to myself that I CAN beat it, which will hopefully help me when I move on to battle the next steps.

I don't know if that makes much sense, and maybe it sounds a little crazy lol! But just wanted you to know you're not the only one, and yes, it's disheartening, but if it were a physical injury/illness and we had such a setback, would we be this worried? It's just a feeling, an annoying one, but still a feeling, and one which I'm going to try and boot out of my life!

[meggyjo]

can sympathise here, havent felt too bad for several months now, the fear of fear subsided and I was living "normally" but over the past couple of weeks the panicky feelings are beginning to return, I find myself avoiding situations, I need to get the shopping done early so there arent too many people around or the weird feelings come flooding back, chills, lightheadedness, feel everything is closing in on me. I've also become obsessive about cleaning again, always a bad sign! even the chickens get cleaned out more often, how sad is that!!!
I know I can fight it, but I hate the fear of it getting a hold on me again, I feel tears welling up now as I write this, even though I have nothing really to be tearful about, (I am a little concerned about a bp test I had yesterday) although others assure me it will be fine. Next comes the "what ifs" do I have a hidden heart issue? what if I'm ill when I'm out in public and so on.

sorry to harp on but it helps to know I can say all these things here without being told "theres nothing wrong with you"!!:blush:

[shortstuff]

I'm going totally crazy now.

I was off work all of last week thanks to a virus, and ended up feeling very anxious and had a couple of panic attacks. I feel loads better but the anxiety and panic continue. It seems to be made worse each time I think about going back to work on Monday.

I really love my new job and have felt so much better since starting it. I don't know whether my main worry is that I'll panic at work in front of new colleagues or whether its fear of failure in my role. Whatever it is, I want to run away.

The thing is, we had Ofsted in before Christmas and the whole school did fantastically well - I personally was graded Outstanding. Others tell me I'm really good at my job but I have always considered myself to be a fake! I struggle to get the paperwork done due to lack of confidence and this has a knock-on effect.

Now I'm worrying that feeling like this about work might have made me ill last week and that perhaps I wasn't ill at all! Basically, I'm overthinking everything which is a really bad sign for me. I just feel like I am losing my grip again. :scared15:

[Maj]

You are not losing your grip. Viruses can leave you very low, this will have added to you not feeling too good. I think you're doing what all us anxiety sufferers do - analyse too much!! We just give far too much thought to things and twist and turn them and wind ourselves up - I've been there so many times!! If you feel anxious again after feeling better for a while then something must be making you a bit stressed - and most people get stressed at some point in their lives - don't be so hard on yourself, you're only human!! You'll get through this again. Accept that you're below par just now and try and just carryon until this passes, and it will. Don't read too much into it. And also, sometimes it's after the event that everything catches up with us. A new job and house is an awful lot to take on. Moving house is one of the most stressful situations to be in. So don't beat yourself up, you've done incredibly well.
Myra:hugs: