ChrisMayo
31-10-09, 13:28
Hello all.
Have posted a lot recently, so, sorry if I'm repeating myself, but going through a difficult patch, and any responses would be very helpful.
Basically, i've had anxiety (or been told I have anxiety) for nearly 4 years on and off.
My main anxiety is health anxiety, which is disabling at times, because my belief is so severe. I've been on medication (Seroxat, three times, and now on Citalopram) had CBT for just under a year, and have seen/spoken tons of Drs, nurses, NHS Direct staff, etc. All who have said that I have anxiety.
I've had multiple blood tests (full blood counts, ANA, platelets, organ functions, HIV, etc) , chest x-rays, eye tests, ECGS, etc. All normal.
For background info, I'm 22, male, have a busy, often stressful job, but something that I enjoy. I have a busy social life, and not a great diet (seeing a Dietician about this), i'm also very tall and thin (underweight) all of which don't help my anxiety, as any little ache and pain is often worsened because of my build, lifestyle etc.
My recent return to my health anxiety came when I noticed blood under the skin on my feet, and then noticing lots of petechaie on my arms, and random ones on other parts of my body. I went to the Doctor about this (just the one's on my feet at the time) as I was worried about Leukaemia, he said he didn't think it was anything, but I insisted on blood tests. While I got the blood tests done at the hospital, I then went to A+E because I wanted a second opinion and was freaking out. The doctor there said it didn't look serious, but asked me more in detail questions, gave me a check over, did a chest x-ray and took an ECG. He said it wasn't Leukaemia, and I could expect my blood test results to be normal.
I got the blood test results back, all were normal.
I then kept noticing these Petechaie, cropping up, mainly on my arms, so I then went back to the hospital this week (2 weeks after I first noticed them). I said that I had been in before, but that I was still noticing them.
He checked me over and said it looked like nothing, and checked my results from the week before, and said they were normal. He then did some more blood tests to rule out meningitis or any inflammation, and said I could go home, but if he called me, to come back in, otherwise everything was fine.
He said he wanted to rule out meningitis but the chances were very slim, as I was otherwise healthy. I said I was worried about Leukaemia and he said, no, the results were all normal, I had no bruising, the petechaie wasn't severe or that noticeable and I had no infections, other signs of being ill etc, so I didn't have to worry about that.
I then went home, still a bit nervous, but got no call, so those bloods were fine as well.
Over the weekend, I noticed a small amount of red blood on one of my stools, I've had anal fissures/cuts before (sorry!) so, I wasn't as concerned as I would usually be, but then started to get a weird pain as if I needed to go to the toilet all the time (passing urine), so I kept going to the loo, and still had this feeling as if my bladder was full.
I was away from home at the time, but thought I would see if it passed, and then get it checked out when I got back. It came and went. My stools cleared up, but I was still getting this full bladder feeling. I naturally worried it was an infection, or swelling of the spleen/bladder, which is associated with Leukaemia, Lupus, cancers etc
I went to the hospital last night, and said about it. They took yet more blood tests (I saw on the sheet, one of them was for blood clotting, and they took three other samples, pressumably full blood count and organ function?).
Those all came back normal, they did a urine test, that came back normal, so no infections, and she couldn't feel any swelling, or see any worrying signs, so said it was probably a little cut I had, and the urine could be a symptom of Citalopram (which I've been on just under 2 weeks now), but there were no infections, swellings, blood problems, so just to keep an eye on it and maybe see my GP in a week if i'm still concerned)
Basically, I've seen 5 people about my Leukaemia concerns, had 3 lots of blood tests, and also seen other Dr's/nurses for general worries etc, all who have told me it's not Leukaemia or anything else serious going on.
Should I stop looking for things to worry about?
I'm seeing a Dermatologist on Tuesday regarding the spots (The doctor at the hospital thinks it's because i'm thin and fair skinned that they are showing up easily).
I've also had back / neck pains over the last couple of years, which worsen my health anxiety. I'm seeing a physio who has said I have posture problems, and they can help, and that anxiety / stress will worsen those pains, but everytime I get a symptom, I put them together and assume the worst.
I just want to be able to accept that it is my mind telling me i'm ill, rather than me actually being ill, but at the moment it seems impossible.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and do they still go through it? I know that once I'm over the Leukaemia fear, i'll go back to worrying about Lupus, or brain tumour, or something, but I really want to just ignore it and get on with things.
I'd love to read any similar experiences, as it is really getting me down.
Sorry for such a long, repetitive post, but good to rant every now and then!
Thanks so much for reading.
Chris xx
Have posted a lot recently, so, sorry if I'm repeating myself, but going through a difficult patch, and any responses would be very helpful.
Basically, i've had anxiety (or been told I have anxiety) for nearly 4 years on and off.
My main anxiety is health anxiety, which is disabling at times, because my belief is so severe. I've been on medication (Seroxat, three times, and now on Citalopram) had CBT for just under a year, and have seen/spoken tons of Drs, nurses, NHS Direct staff, etc. All who have said that I have anxiety.
I've had multiple blood tests (full blood counts, ANA, platelets, organ functions, HIV, etc) , chest x-rays, eye tests, ECGS, etc. All normal.
For background info, I'm 22, male, have a busy, often stressful job, but something that I enjoy. I have a busy social life, and not a great diet (seeing a Dietician about this), i'm also very tall and thin (underweight) all of which don't help my anxiety, as any little ache and pain is often worsened because of my build, lifestyle etc.
My recent return to my health anxiety came when I noticed blood under the skin on my feet, and then noticing lots of petechaie on my arms, and random ones on other parts of my body. I went to the Doctor about this (just the one's on my feet at the time) as I was worried about Leukaemia, he said he didn't think it was anything, but I insisted on blood tests. While I got the blood tests done at the hospital, I then went to A+E because I wanted a second opinion and was freaking out. The doctor there said it didn't look serious, but asked me more in detail questions, gave me a check over, did a chest x-ray and took an ECG. He said it wasn't Leukaemia, and I could expect my blood test results to be normal.
I got the blood test results back, all were normal.
I then kept noticing these Petechaie, cropping up, mainly on my arms, so I then went back to the hospital this week (2 weeks after I first noticed them). I said that I had been in before, but that I was still noticing them.
He checked me over and said it looked like nothing, and checked my results from the week before, and said they were normal. He then did some more blood tests to rule out meningitis or any inflammation, and said I could go home, but if he called me, to come back in, otherwise everything was fine.
He said he wanted to rule out meningitis but the chances were very slim, as I was otherwise healthy. I said I was worried about Leukaemia and he said, no, the results were all normal, I had no bruising, the petechaie wasn't severe or that noticeable and I had no infections, other signs of being ill etc, so I didn't have to worry about that.
I then went home, still a bit nervous, but got no call, so those bloods were fine as well.
Over the weekend, I noticed a small amount of red blood on one of my stools, I've had anal fissures/cuts before (sorry!) so, I wasn't as concerned as I would usually be, but then started to get a weird pain as if I needed to go to the toilet all the time (passing urine), so I kept going to the loo, and still had this feeling as if my bladder was full.
I was away from home at the time, but thought I would see if it passed, and then get it checked out when I got back. It came and went. My stools cleared up, but I was still getting this full bladder feeling. I naturally worried it was an infection, or swelling of the spleen/bladder, which is associated with Leukaemia, Lupus, cancers etc
I went to the hospital last night, and said about it. They took yet more blood tests (I saw on the sheet, one of them was for blood clotting, and they took three other samples, pressumably full blood count and organ function?).
Those all came back normal, they did a urine test, that came back normal, so no infections, and she couldn't feel any swelling, or see any worrying signs, so said it was probably a little cut I had, and the urine could be a symptom of Citalopram (which I've been on just under 2 weeks now), but there were no infections, swellings, blood problems, so just to keep an eye on it and maybe see my GP in a week if i'm still concerned)
Basically, I've seen 5 people about my Leukaemia concerns, had 3 lots of blood tests, and also seen other Dr's/nurses for general worries etc, all who have told me it's not Leukaemia or anything else serious going on.
Should I stop looking for things to worry about?
I'm seeing a Dermatologist on Tuesday regarding the spots (The doctor at the hospital thinks it's because i'm thin and fair skinned that they are showing up easily).
I've also had back / neck pains over the last couple of years, which worsen my health anxiety. I'm seeing a physio who has said I have posture problems, and they can help, and that anxiety / stress will worsen those pains, but everytime I get a symptom, I put them together and assume the worst.
I just want to be able to accept that it is my mind telling me i'm ill, rather than me actually being ill, but at the moment it seems impossible.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, and do they still go through it? I know that once I'm over the Leukaemia fear, i'll go back to worrying about Lupus, or brain tumour, or something, but I really want to just ignore it and get on with things.
I'd love to read any similar experiences, as it is really getting me down.
Sorry for such a long, repetitive post, but good to rant every now and then!
Thanks so much for reading.
Chris xx