Who can help?

[Quiet-Lift]

Hello NMP people:)

I've been posting here and there but nobody has responded.:shrug:

I must be doing something wrong.

Perhaps these posts are just not entertaining enough...or self-indulgent.
I don't know what else I can do other than try to express how I'm feeling through words.

I've had another difficult day. Phoned up my Mum and started crying. No personal contact with anyone.

Really depressed because I can't seem to make up my mind or commit myself to anything.

Angry with some people. Mental Health Service Users are not the one big cohesive unit I'd hoped for. The Day Centre I occasionally attend is chaos controlled by an inadequate quota of staff. Everyone seems to be stepping on each other for the most trivial of reasons.

I've started thinking about suicide again. An acquaintance who was participating in a Dramatherapy Group which i briefly attended, topped himself earlier this year. This brings up some uncomfortable thoughts.

The group and the fool of a woman running it were s***. It makes me bloody angry when I come across so-called professionals who turn out to be inadequate and unqualified to handle the dynamics of such activities.

Can anyone understand or relate to any of this?

Thanks for reading

[Gazman]

Can't really give you advice, but try not to think about suicide, your worth more than that i'm sure.

When u say no personal contact, do you mean you have difficulty meeting people or have no friends or family near by?

I don't know exactly what you mean about commiting yourself to anything but if you find yourself enjoying something or rather find something you enjoy, can't you commit yourself to that?

I'm sorry i'm not very good with advice :blush: but didn't want to read and run.

Hope you sort out these suicidal thoughts though, and don't commit yourself to that either, thinking about it!
Sorry that joke was probably in bad taste :lac:

Hope you feel a little better soon tho :)

[onceagain]

Hi Quiet Life

I have not attended any centres but am seeing a really lovely counsellor who will seek further CBT for me.

I am in a town alone, having moved due to domestic violence and can go days/weeks without seeing anyone.

It is very hard especially when I am feeling at my lowest, I started on Meds and have contemplated and attempted suicide, still have very low days but think the main thing I have learnt is that you can only really count on yourself. Doctors can get things wrong and other people don't necessarily realise what an isolated world anxiety and depression brings.

Could you not look to your doctor regarding another centre or type of therapy for you. Use as many help lines as you need, or maybe attend something at an Adult Education Centre, which no they won't be aware of the problem but it will put you within a happier environment, maybe more organised too.

You are not alone and this website has been a god send to me, most of my posts go unanswered but just reading other peoples struggles urges me on.

The very best of luck to you and if you ever need to just pour it out then pm me anytime x

[xBettyBoopx]

Hello NMP people:)

I've been posting here and there but nobody has responded.:shrug:

I must be doing something wrong.

Perhaps these posts are just not entertaining enough...or self-indulgent.
I don't know what else I can do other than try to express how I'm feeling through words.

I've had another difficult day. Phoned up my Mum and started crying. No personal contact with anyone.

Really depressed because I can't seem to make up my mind or commit myself to anything.

Angry with some people. Mental Health Service Users are not the one big cohesive unit I'd hoped for. The Day Centre I occasionally attend is chaos controlled by an inadequate quota of staff. Everyone seems to be stepping on each other for the most trivial of reasons.

I've started thinking about suicide again. An acquaintance who was participating in a Dramatherapy Group which i briefly attended, topped himself earlier this year. This brings up some uncomfortable thoughts.

The group and the fool of a woman running it were s***. It makes me bloody angry when I come across so-called professionals who turn out to be inadequate and unqualified to handle the dynamics of such activities.

Can anyone understand or relate to any of this?

Thanks for reading

Hi Quiet

I can't give you any advice, but I know how you are feeling. I don't have any personal contact with anyone, I am very lonely. Lonliness is a real bad thing, it can make you feel hopeless, helpless and so depressed that you feel you can't go on anymore!!

You are feeling very down on yourself, can tell when you said that "I must be doing something wrong"! How can we learn to love ourselves? Even liking ourselves would be a good start! I am reading a self-esteem book at the moment, I've had it years but never bothered to read it. You can read on-line nowadays. No confidence and total lack of self worth can cripple you and zap you of any reason to bother living!!

I can't commit to anything either, but I'm going to really try, will you try with me? It's gonna be hard for me because I am deeply depressed, but if you'll give it a go, then so will I. Shall we? Let me know!:yesyes:

Sorry I can't be of more help, I have no answers because I feel the same but because of that we can give each other some support. You have my support 100%.
Take care of yourself.
Love
Els

[mandyclare]

Hi.... I haven't had these sorts of experiences but I can understand how frustrated and annoyed you must feel.

As another member has said maybe finding a hobby or pasttime that you really enjoy would help focus your attention on something pleasurable.

I do hope you start to feel better about everything soon.

Take care

Mand

[Downsinthenorth]

Hello Quiet-lift

I've just written you a really long post and then lost it because I couldn't log in again. Aaaarrgh!

Anyway, the gist of it was please go and see your doctor and tell them you are having suicidal thoughts. Also, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your posts - it is just sometimes there are so many being posted on these forums that some of them get overlooked.

Virtual hugs from

Downsinthenorth

[ElizabethJane]

Dear Quietlift please do not be discouraged by people not answering your posts. It is true that there are many people posting at once and one or two posts can tend to dominate at any one time. It is not your fault and please keep posting. I tend not to post for days on end because I am so busy also I don't feel that I have anything further to add or be constructive to the poster. As another member has already said if you have thoughts of suicide or morbid thoughts about death these need to be addressed by your GP or psychiatrist. Years ago I had psychodrama which encouraged emotions being exposed, relived and addressed in the raw. Powerful stuff. but it was with qualified therapists. If you feel that the sessions are unsafe then just leave or tell those poeple who are arranging the therapy for you that it is not safe and therfore you willnot be participating.. It is frustrating when you don't feel that you are getting anywhere with your therapy. Our local MIND centre has recently closed down without much of a replacement. In terms of loneliness that is far more difficult to come to terms with. I just don't know what your interests are but trying any activity where you can go out and meet people will eventually find with it some aquaintances. I swim at a leisure centre and had been absent for many months. It is weird but three people asked where I had been. Try some of the things that other posters have suggested and take it from there.

[NoPoet]

Hi mate, I was wondering how you were getting on.

The war against depression goes on I see. It isn't just one big cataclysmic fight, it tends to break up into a series of battles, so it can feel as if you aren't getting anywhere when in fact you are leaving a trail of victories behind you as you constantly move forward in life.

I agree that the NHS is woefully under-prepared to fight the depression epidemic. On the other hand there are a lot of new-generation medicines in the works and some of them may prove more effective than today's junk.

I am looking into your other threads now.

Are you able to try taking inositol? Also have you thought about trying hypnotherapy and self-help hypnosis mp3s?

If you want to go down the supplement route, it seems that vitamin B-complex is implicated in many cases of depression, in that a lack of the b-vitamins can cause or worsen negative thoughts and feelings.

So for daily supplements, inositol powder and vitamin b-complex could provide you with a useful boost, and they do not interact with SSRIs.

[Maj]

Do you honestly think that suicide is the answer? You are such a precious person and it would be awful if you even contemplated this. If you are thinking about this then you're not getting the right help or support. Please think more of yourself. You are obviously a very sensitive, intelligent person. Yes, you may have anxiety and depression, but you have to get help -the right help - for this. What's your doctor doing about it? Combined with the right medication and some input from you, you can get through this.
Myra:hugs:

[Quiet-Lift]

Hello everyone:)

I'm sorry for not replying to your posts sooner. I want to thank you for responding to some of the things I said with such kindness and understanding.

Believe me, I don't like thinking about suicide, but sometimes the thoughts come automatically and can interfere with any activity I may be doing.

I'm obviously feeling really low again and have managed to get an appointment with a Consultant next Tuesday. I only hope I don't find myself being persuaded to go in to hospital because I've arranged to travel to Wales on Thursday to spend a few days with my Mum. I don't want to let her down. I've done the journey twice before, this year, and know I can do it again.

Apologies for not replying personally. Some of you have been kind enough to offer further contact which I appreciate. I don't like to reject people who are prepared to give some of their time to try and help.

Best wishes to all of you :hugs:

[onceagain]

:hugs:

[Quiet-Lift]

Thanks Sharon

:hugs:...for you too.

[jpm]

Hi i have had the same problems as you. Some times feel like iam talking to a brick wall. i go to the doctors and i dont see the same doctor twice so i need to go over it all again and again. Ive been in a mental ward twice and come up against the same problems i found this website now and i know its not just me.while i was in the mental ward the last time i and a few others chatted for hours not about our problems but about anything but we all had one thing in comon we didnt feel stupid about were we was and we could see people worse than us and together we made each other feel alive. some times if we didnt want to talk we could say leave me alone and they would and because part of our problem was not being able to sleep we could go and talk at any time day or night. i miss that part of being in hospital what i dont miss is doctors telling me how iam feeling and what i should do and what i should think about. Now iam out and in a town were i know no one i talk to no one and it drives me mad. i was going for walks sometimes the police would stop me and ask why i was out they would go through my cloths looking for god knows what. as a 45 year old man i dont have the right towalk the streets late at night. my point is i know how you are feeling and this site will hoprfully give meand you some people to talk to when no one else can or will in a week i can go in the chat room and chat to people who know how iam feeling. I know iam not alone with my feeling and maybe we will chat maybe not but your not alone.

[Quiet-Lift]

Hi jpm,:)

I once had a similar experience to you when I was out one night for a stroll. Stopped by Police. Clothing search. Some of these coppers have nothing better to do eh? They probably treat everyone with the same level of suspicion so I wouldn't take it too personally.

That must have been a great experience. Chatting to people for hours whilst you were in hospital. Maybe one of the few places where you can do it eh?

Perhaps, like me, you don't like it when someone asks how you are feeling? I'm not sure how to respond. Should I lie and say 'I'm feeling good' or 'not too bad', or should I be honest and say I feel like s***, and watch as the enquirer becomes uncomfortable and moves on.
As I have emotional problems, I often mix up the language of feelings with thoughts, so to speak. We need more education about this.

Thanks for replying. I hope you can find someone to talk to in your town. Don't give up hope.

Take care and best wishes