New member... completely bewildered!

[alicebrum]

Hello!
It feels a bit weird posting on a forum, I've never done it before but I just really feel like I need to speak to people who understand!

My name's Alice, I'm 18 from Leeds UK but live in Birmingham at university now. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for almost a year after being raped by my then boyfriend. I have plenty of support from my current boyfriend and friends but sometimes people just don't know what to say or how to answer my questions. I read a few other posts on this section of the forum, and it seems like everyone is so understanding and sympathetic! I hope I can meet some great people here who I can share experiences and swap advice with. I really need some kind of release because I am constantly tense and wound up and sometimes stay inside for weeks at a time, which is destroying my relationships, my university course, my self esteem, everything! :\ To be honest it has been a downhill struggle over the past year and I need to know that it can get better?? It's sometimes hard to see light at the end of the tunnel, especially during those horrible sleepless nights!

I really look forward to hearing from people :)
Alice x

[diane07]

Hi alicebrum

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[lynn1960]

welcome i have severe anxiexty also and cant sleep,thr feelings are horrible are you on meds

[alicebrum]

Thanks :)
Yep sleepless nights make you feel awful, everything seems so much worse at this time of night when it's so dark and there's noone awake to talk to!
I've been taking sertraline since March this year with little/no effect but I'm coming off them now. Don't see any point in taking them when they don't work, plus I think taking anti depressants makes you feel like a "patient" which is not nice. Are you on any meds and are you getting any sort of therapy?

[lynn1960]

i am on meds but again dont feel better.i am scared of the feelings i want to run away but you cant are you scared of the feelings laying here on seetee with a quilt getting catnaps have not had propeer sleep for weeks i was going toinstant message you as you were awake but dont kmow how to do you sleep at all

[alicebrum]

Yes I get terrified some times! It all gets so overwhelming that I don't know how to deal with it; but because it's an internal problem there's no way of escaping it :|
I have sleepless nights on and off. Mainly when I haven't been doing anything all day and don't tire myself out really. Everyone's telling me that exercise will help my sleep pattern but it seems impossible to get out of bed sometimes never mind go out for a run!
Have you tried sleeping meds? I was on zopiclone for a while which helped but my doctor only gave me a limited supply because they are addictive (I found that I couldn't sleep without them eventually and had 2 sleepless nights after coming off them).

[lynn1960]

did doc take you off medsor do it yourself i want to walk streets all night but cant too dangerous i llive in bristol

[joeyjo]

Hi Alice,

I took sleeping tablets for two months and they really helped re-settle my sleeping pattern. After that the doctor wouldn't re-prescibe them (I took temazepam) because they are addicitive but switched me to an anti-depressant (which I had refused intially) and (although the anti depressant is a high dose and does knock me out) they enable me to sleep through and to do each day. The persistant tiredness (unaviodable side effect) is worth it.

Also I stopped going to the doctor by myself as I found I just disolved and couldn't say how I was feeling etc and came out frustrated. Now I always go to the doctor with a trusted friend and when I can't explain how I feel she can chip in and to be honest even just her beng there helps me.

I hope this is useful and hang in there honey,

xxx joey