Ange!
02-11-09, 11:01
If this post can help even ONE person, i'll be happy.
The last few years have been a very dark place for me, and i'm pretty sure it has been for you all! I have been acting the part of what I thought I should be to cover up what I was really feeling. Anxiety had taken over my life (thought processes, physical symptoms and avoiding)
I'm a born worrier and analytical person, so as this started I analysed it all, looked into it, came up with more conclusions that fuelled my anxiety even more (I didnt know I was doing it at the time!)
It has affected my personality, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my kids, my relationship with my family, my performance at work, my sleep and a hell of a lot more.
It has ended up with countless visits to the doctor, specialists, A&E and endless days of staying in bed, exhausted.
I felt as if I was having a nervous breakdown last week and the week before - and to be honest..I probably was! Nothing was functionig as normal (or whatever the hell normal was..looking back, it was "acting" normal)
I am VERY fortunate and extremely privelleged to have an extremely supportive and understanding family (even though sometimes I have not felt it as I have been too deep in my own anxiety to see it) but the person who has helped me the most is my brother. Unfortunately he has been there done that wore the t-shirt!!
This has been building up in him for years and has resulted in him being taken over by anxiety (I will not tell his story, it is his to tell if ever he chooses to) but he is on a path to recovery and is an inspiration to me and has given me two pieces of advice that have made me feel (finally) that I can have a normal life!
I will now share these with you for the hope that it will reach you and help you:
1) Get rid of all your books on these symptoms / behaviours and read this one book once - then keep it as a reference. This book was "At last a life - Anxiety and Panic Free" by Paul David (this was in response to the latest one i'd bought and showed him (CBT for dummies - in itself a fantastic book, but he recognised that it would probably make me feel worse as all I would do is further analyse myself!)
I could not put this book down as it has hit the spot and finally made me feel as if I am on a journey to a normal life - not recovery, but a normal life!
The main points are: Give up the fight! There is no cure for this, you have to accept it and go with it. You can't control it. I know this doesnt make sense, and to be honest, it didn't to me until I read ithe book.
Our anxious states are making our nerves highly sensitised! our adrenaline is pumping like mad as we are in a constant anxious state! Everything then builds up on this - we concentrate on why we are feeling what we are feeling starting the "What if" process and then fuel it further.
Its weird that even with the CBT book, I thought I was recognising my thought processes and trying to change them - which in honest made me worse - the panic attacks started really badly even though I was doing this (didn't make sense to me!)
If we had a cold, we would recognise the symptoms as a cold and carry on with things - all these symptoms we have are all down to our nerves being in the highly sensitised state (as if we are being attacked by a bloody dinosaur or something!) and it is natural for our bodies to be like that.
We have to accept it, and tackle it (not avoid it) - in time our bodies will give less importance to it and it will fade.
2) Panic attacks - another tip by my brother - make a little "rescue pack" for panic attacks. Accept they will happen, and when they do, get your rescue pack (mine is Rescue remedy spray and rescue remedy pastilles! God only knows if they do anything physically, but they make me realise that it is a panic attack, that it will pass - which in turn helps them to fade over time! I don't even go into the "Why is this happening to me?" "What if i pass out" etc thing which only fuels it.
3) Mood - I'm not depressed, therefore won't go down the route of anti depressants (although in all honesty - this was a magic pill I was hoping for!) but feeling constantly anxious makes my mood dip (as is only natural) so another tip is to make a "happy pack" (lol - I sound like a right loony now, but again, this is credited to my amazing, inspirational brother whom I love deeply!) Be it happy songs on your i-pod, photos of happy memories carried with you that you can use as your "mood rescue pack"
Anyway - sorry about this long post - and I only hope that it makes sense and doesnt read as one long rant.
Please, please forget about symptoms and recognise what you can do about this - Let's reclaim our lives!
Ive only started on my journey to recovery (after being at the doctors two weeks ago expecting a magic pill to numb it all following my breakdown, then being heartbroken as I wasn't given this magic pill that certainly doesn't exist for ANXIETY - which made me go into further into anxiety / panic attack hell)
Good luck to you all - Life really is too short for us all to feel this way.
Ange
x
The last few years have been a very dark place for me, and i'm pretty sure it has been for you all! I have been acting the part of what I thought I should be to cover up what I was really feeling. Anxiety had taken over my life (thought processes, physical symptoms and avoiding)
I'm a born worrier and analytical person, so as this started I analysed it all, looked into it, came up with more conclusions that fuelled my anxiety even more (I didnt know I was doing it at the time!)
It has affected my personality, my relationship with my husband, my relationship with my kids, my relationship with my family, my performance at work, my sleep and a hell of a lot more.
It has ended up with countless visits to the doctor, specialists, A&E and endless days of staying in bed, exhausted.
I felt as if I was having a nervous breakdown last week and the week before - and to be honest..I probably was! Nothing was functionig as normal (or whatever the hell normal was..looking back, it was "acting" normal)
I am VERY fortunate and extremely privelleged to have an extremely supportive and understanding family (even though sometimes I have not felt it as I have been too deep in my own anxiety to see it) but the person who has helped me the most is my brother. Unfortunately he has been there done that wore the t-shirt!!
This has been building up in him for years and has resulted in him being taken over by anxiety (I will not tell his story, it is his to tell if ever he chooses to) but he is on a path to recovery and is an inspiration to me and has given me two pieces of advice that have made me feel (finally) that I can have a normal life!
I will now share these with you for the hope that it will reach you and help you:
1) Get rid of all your books on these symptoms / behaviours and read this one book once - then keep it as a reference. This book was "At last a life - Anxiety and Panic Free" by Paul David (this was in response to the latest one i'd bought and showed him (CBT for dummies - in itself a fantastic book, but he recognised that it would probably make me feel worse as all I would do is further analyse myself!)
I could not put this book down as it has hit the spot and finally made me feel as if I am on a journey to a normal life - not recovery, but a normal life!
The main points are: Give up the fight! There is no cure for this, you have to accept it and go with it. You can't control it. I know this doesnt make sense, and to be honest, it didn't to me until I read ithe book.
Our anxious states are making our nerves highly sensitised! our adrenaline is pumping like mad as we are in a constant anxious state! Everything then builds up on this - we concentrate on why we are feeling what we are feeling starting the "What if" process and then fuel it further.
Its weird that even with the CBT book, I thought I was recognising my thought processes and trying to change them - which in honest made me worse - the panic attacks started really badly even though I was doing this (didn't make sense to me!)
If we had a cold, we would recognise the symptoms as a cold and carry on with things - all these symptoms we have are all down to our nerves being in the highly sensitised state (as if we are being attacked by a bloody dinosaur or something!) and it is natural for our bodies to be like that.
We have to accept it, and tackle it (not avoid it) - in time our bodies will give less importance to it and it will fade.
2) Panic attacks - another tip by my brother - make a little "rescue pack" for panic attacks. Accept they will happen, and when they do, get your rescue pack (mine is Rescue remedy spray and rescue remedy pastilles! God only knows if they do anything physically, but they make me realise that it is a panic attack, that it will pass - which in turn helps them to fade over time! I don't even go into the "Why is this happening to me?" "What if i pass out" etc thing which only fuels it.
3) Mood - I'm not depressed, therefore won't go down the route of anti depressants (although in all honesty - this was a magic pill I was hoping for!) but feeling constantly anxious makes my mood dip (as is only natural) so another tip is to make a "happy pack" (lol - I sound like a right loony now, but again, this is credited to my amazing, inspirational brother whom I love deeply!) Be it happy songs on your i-pod, photos of happy memories carried with you that you can use as your "mood rescue pack"
Anyway - sorry about this long post - and I only hope that it makes sense and doesnt read as one long rant.
Please, please forget about symptoms and recognise what you can do about this - Let's reclaim our lives!
Ive only started on my journey to recovery (after being at the doctors two weeks ago expecting a magic pill to numb it all following my breakdown, then being heartbroken as I wasn't given this magic pill that certainly doesn't exist for ANXIETY - which made me go into further into anxiety / panic attack hell)
Good luck to you all - Life really is too short for us all to feel this way.
Ange
x