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View Full Version : Fearing the fear!



iheartshoes
02-11-09, 21:18
Ok, ill start from the beginning, hope youve got some time spare! Lol!
Basically i was with this ass of a guy for 2 years. He completely ruined my confidence, and pretty much made me cry everyday. I didnt realise any of this was happening at the time, stupid i know. Oh and in that time my cousin killed himself so there was alot of crap happening. So one day i went to get my hair cut, and i got a bit shakey. I call it a wobbly head, it feels like your neck goes all tense and you head feels like it shakes. Anyway, so i got this and the hairdresser went 'are you ok?'. I said yeah, i just feel a bit weird. So i popped to the loo, and i thought, ooooh my god how embarressing! Then when i came out all the hairdressers gathered round me and started making a fuss. Saying i looked pale etc. My mum was there and she was like are you ok? And i thought, i dont know! Apparently not! So anyway, i felt a bit shakey, but sat down to finish my haircut. Then after i sat wondering what had just happened. It scared the crap out of me. I dont know if it was a panic attack, as i managed to sit and stay in the salon. Anywho, so from that moment i just felt completely petrified of what had happened. I couldnt be around anyone. My then bf worked away pretty much full time so i didnt see him. Even my mum or anyone being in the house scared me. I didnt eat properly for a long time. My stomach just felt like it was in knots. And my mind just kept racing about what had happened. I stopped seeing friends and family, and work fizzled out. So now we're 3 years on and im still scared of something. I dont like being around people socially because im scared of having a panic attack and embaressing myself, even though i havent had one since that day. Im terrified of meeting my new bfs mum coz i think if i pop round for a chat, ill have a panic attack and look like a ****. I play all these situations in my head over and over. College is hard too. I get this lump in my throat that makes me feel like im going to burst into tears, but i havent actually done so yet. You'd think id be able to go, sweet i can control it, but i dont trust myself. Im still scared! I cant even manage the cinema with my bf coz i imagine myself suddenly wanting to run out and then hed think i was an idiot. Its soooo frustrating! I read a website today that says the only thing you fear is the fear itself. That you should push yourself into the situation, try and welcome an attack and let it wash over you. Then your over it and wont fear it anyone. I just cant get the guts to do it though. Its ok when your at home thinking yeah ill give that a whirl, but when your in the situation crapping yourself, you just cant make yourself think rationally. I know im close to getting over this, i just cant take that final step. I dont believe in myself at all. Im not depressed or anything, just frustrated.

Maj
02-11-09, 22:11
That was a horrible experience you had but it does have to spoil the rest of your life! Yes, a panic attack is horrible - you must have been feeling stressed about something at that time. Accept that, accept your anxiety and yes, try and let it wash over you, don't be afraid, and you'll gradually get better. It's all about accepting what happened, not being afraid of it - this is the way to recovery. Through time you'll get better again if you practise this. We wind ourselves up by saying "what if", but if you just go with the flow and accept how you feel you are on the road to recovery. This guy has taken away your self esteem and confidence but you will get it back. Accept and carry on.
Myra x:)

candee86
03-11-09, 09:14
Heya Iheartshoes!

You need to think that it was 3 years ago and if it hasnt happened since then what is the chance it is going to? I completely know what you mean though because I avoid situations due to embarrasment and it annoys me because I am not doing things that I want to do. I think all you need to do is realise in the cinema and at your bfs mums is that you can excuse yourself to the toilet...even if you do have a panic attack you dont have to run out because nothing will happen to you it is just a feeling so just walk out and go to the toilet to calm down and if you still dont feel well then just say I am sorry but not feeling so good, I have to go and they wont mind at all!! The trick I use is mention that I am not feeling very well beforehand..just say its your stomach or something and then you have covered yourself for later on if you feel panicy and want to leave :P

Hope this helps a bit!
Candy xxx