Friend stressing me out!!!!

[BabyRachel]

I carpool with a 'friend' in the morning to college. Recently ive had a number of days off because of anxiety, its just too much to go some days. And I try to give her as much notice as possible as to if im taking the day off or not. We had a bit of a discussion about it, she says it basically screws her around because of petrol money and blah blah and i apologised, i thought we had it all worked out. I always give her cash for petrol and parking.

But today I had the day off and she is being all weird tonight, saying why bother coming but insists nothing is wrong when I ask her.

She is totally stressing me out. Gives me SO much anxiety going in the car with a person who a)doesnt understand and b) doesnt seem to really like me.

If I start catching the train in everyone in class is going to give me more issues so I dont know what the hell to do.

Shes making my anxiety so much worse!! How do we deal with people like this?

Im running out of options... I dont know what im supposed to do i try everything to feel better but it doesnt work and now this. :weep::weep::weep::weep:

[onceagain]

Hi Rachel

It is horrible when you feel that you are relying on someone and then they are making you feel that way too. At the end of the day she is going that way anyway and therefore would have her petrol and parking costs with or without you, therefore you cannot be blamed for that.

Does she realise that you are feeling the way you do, probably not unless she has been there herself and there are all different forms that anxiety, panic or depression can take, so even then symtoms may be different as well may be the treatment.

I would tell her that if she is unhappy taking you that you will happily take the train as you don't want to inconvience her and see what her answer is. Whatever the outcome don't blame yourself, keep remembering she has to do that journey herself anyway the cost will be still be there.

Remember though to think it through if you are feeling vunerable things do feel a lot worse than they are actually are, so think on whether it is you being upset or her really making you feel that way.

Best of luck to you x

[meg86]

Hello :)

I know how you feel, it is hard for other people to understand how you feel, but it gets to a point where thier actions actually make your anxiety feel worse.

I agree with Sharon i think you should be polite and simply say if its a inconvenience i will take the train no hard feelings!

I had a friend that made my anxiety worse, her constant negativity and attitude used to really stress me out, she was very insensitive about my anxiety and if i ever mentioned a symptom for example visual disturbances she would say well you are probably going blind (very helpful).

I think its important that when you are trying to get better not to spend time with negative people, or people that make your anxiety feel worst.

Im not saying not to be friends with this person but a time out will probably do you good.

Take care and good luck :) xxx

[BabyRachel]

Shes gotten worse guys.. I go to college with her and we used to be friends with a bunch of other people but now none of them say more than hello to me...

I have a feeling my anxiety has to do with it. I'm not myself around these people because they make me too uncomfortable. It makes my anxiety 20 times worse each day.

I caught the train in the other day and had less anxiety because of it. Well, less morning anxiety anyway. Im very definatly considering just telling her I can't afford to drive with her anymore, it costs me twice as much to carpool with her than it does for me to catch the train. How crazy is that. She is being a complete bitch and I simply need to recover, I don't need added stress ontop of it.

Ive got the feeling that once I tell her I can't afford to all the people at college will pretty much talk to me less and like me less than they even do now. I know I shouldn't care if they like me and to be honest I dont care, but when they are rude and ignore me it makes my day so much more unpleasant and anxious than before!!

Its sort of a no win situation!

[onceagain]

You know it might work the other way and travelling alone and feeling less pressured may boost your confidence and allow people to see the real you.

Remember not to become the victim if you don't feel comfortable with those girls then find new friends within the college, people with the same interests, the stronger you are, the weaker their impact on you, the less they will do it....honestly.

A really big hug sent and don't let them make you not want to study, let you come out we cant make everyone like us and you will not like everyone thats part of life and not due to anxiety...

Now Go get them girlie and remember to smile smile smile :hugs:Enjoy the train journeys they save you time and stress and you do not have to carpool you have the right to choose! x

[BabyRachel]

I think your right. Catching the train seems the best option at the moment. I can't really find new friends at college because its a small private college with 12 people at my campus. All immature girls. Sounds like hell doesn't it? hahaha.

On the upside I have five weeks left. I'll catch the train and try to focus on my studies (which is proving impossibe at the moment due to anxiety) and ignore the girls.

Thanks for your support.. I really needed it. :)