View Full Version : What's up with me? Stress am I losing it?
Well I've done it I've phoned in sick to work it's got that bad. I spent all last night thinking Should I go in or Should I not go in? Woke up this morning just not wanting to go in so I swithered but eventually got to the shower. I started shaking, trembling and I felt weak and utterly sick so I had to call in sick. I'm a little more relaxed now just worried what I am doing.
I felt like intense pressure on my head, pains, felt I was going in circles not knowing what I was doing. I just could not go in and this is my first day off the job since I started. I'm worried will I feel crap having no money or not going back?
I don't know what to think. My head is all over the place this morning. It's been a slow mount over the weeks sat on a bench a few weeks back not wanting to go in, begging for another job in my head. I have walked out a few worse jobs before, been sacked from some as I was not meeting company standard so this is my longest job a year and a half almost. I'm surprised I've stuck it as long since it's been my top 3 bad jobs.
But it's really got me in a mess this morning. I have tried for another job for 11 months and feel hopeless. No better to walk out, find a worse job, stick it as a good job or barable seems miles off. I cancelled a job interview yesterday as it was a job out my league I'd never have been able to do. I was knocked a few days before for three other jobs went to the interviews and got none. That's what got me through work.
What's happening my head is booming? Can anybody make sense of this for me? :wacko::weep:
gtrgrl3369
03-11-09, 13:33
Hi Phil, nothing feels worse than going somewhere you dont want to. It can lead to a lot of anxiety because all you are thinking is what is going to happen through out the day. before I had this job, I had panic everyday about going in there. I hated it and knew I was better than that,but I stuck with it for too many years. Now I am in a much better job and have no stress about going to work. There is nothing wrong with you that you feel you deserve better. I can tell you the pressure you feel in your head is tension. Take today and figure out what it is, I make lists because when I get like that my brain tends to go on overdrive. Figure out what you want and try and make it happen for you. We only have one life so try and make it a happy one.
Well my next shift is Thursday night so I have to decide if I am going back or not. I feel i'm going mad. I doubt not working should help either. Managed to apply to three more jobs today but its getting quiet with Christmas now.
I duno why I'm beating myself up over it. Maybe I'm use to the money/time I've been there or something. Anytime I think about it my mind goes like a round about it's so over powering.
I know being happy is the target. It's not as easy to do though. Worst case I sign on at the Job Centre to find another job not sure how it goes getting money walking out so I'd have to look into if I can say it's stress or what. If not try and go back in to work..
My advice is to go to work. It's too easy not to but at least if you are at work, your mind is occupied. Not working is a slippery slope to madness - look at all the posts on here from people who don't work - they have nothing else to think about. Last it out - it will get better and at least you will have the self respect of working for a living.
Jac
Hello Phil,
I remember many years ago when I felt like you did and I couldn't face work. I forced myself to go and felt awful, but tried to hide it from everyone. I used to go into the toilet and work and think "who am I" - sounds ridiculous but that's how bad I felt. Looking back I hated my job at the time because of how I felt - the job was no different to what I had been used to all those years. It was my STATE OF MIND. I eventually had to go to the doctor and take antidepressants. These helped me enormously. I'm not saying your job is fantastic, but your state of mind can actually make you feel as though it's the job at fault. You are not going mad. Are you getting the right treatment from your doctor? Life's too short to keep feeling like this. Yes, a new job would help, but you need to get your health sorted out first, that's the important thing and you deserve this.
Myra:hugs:
Hello Phil,
I remember many years ago when I felt like you did and I couldn't face work. I forced myself to go and felt awful, but tried to hide it from everyone. I used to go into the toilet and work and think "who am I" - sounds ridiculous but that's how bad I felt. Looking back I hated my job at the time because of how I felt - the job was no different to what I had been used to all those years. It was my STATE OF MIND. I eventually had to go to the doctor and take antidepressants. These helped me enormously. I'm not saying your job is fantastic, but your state of mind can actually make you feel as though it's the job at fault. You are not going mad. Are you getting the right treatment from your doctor? Life's too short to keep feeling like this. Yes, a new job would help, but you need to get your health sorted out first, that's the important thing and you deserve this.
Myra:hugs:
Yes I duno what to think. I was anxious before the job but not as much. There's a few reasons why I hated my job to the degree. I work with like people who talk about you, can't socialise with. The job I do involves running, walking and customers shouting at me. I was getting hassle at one point getting diciplinary and like very very close to being sacked for nothing. Plus the hours I work to can be like 10pm so very unsociable for a 21 year old. The jobs just dead end.
What's happened now is any motivation has gone. For the last six months I've been on a thread trying and hoping to find new work. Had alot of interviews and hope. There's been a few people left and paid off lately which has made me jealous almost as I wish it was me. I feel the job has worsened by anxiety so by not going I feel a tad less anxious. So my theory is if I get a new job and a better love life I will feel more able to tackle the anxiety.
If I was to get help I'd be seeing everybody doctors, employment agencies, dating agencies but I can't tacke everything. Up until now I got on with it struggling with inner battles. Now I've had it it's not even took anything major just a long term built up of hope, and now I feel hopeless. At this moment in time I can't find the motivation to go in..would a magic pill make me enjoy the job anymore?
My dilemma is maybe this is just natural? It's been a long built up so it has to end somewhere. They would probably sack me, pay me off or something. I got cold feet on doing a job I couldn't do after applying to 30+ jobs only a handful I fancied and got interviewed for. I've had theory in the past it helped me go out the house ect.. but I have to get on with it..I have some positives. Just work and my love life means like 80% to me to my life so It's a struggle.
What will happen if I don't go back? I don't even know what's wrong...things just aint going how I want them to and I feel in an awkward place or corner. I've had easier jobs to "just get on with" just with experience I've stuck this longer. It's all very well saying go in but I would have trust me but I had thought about the sickie since 4 weeks and bang I've done it. My mind has told me I've lost the bottle and boldness I once had so with the lack of self confidence and so forth I've just went for it and done it. I neither regret it or don't. I only work part time so spent half the week doing nothing anyway.
Surely if a job is stressful that's it? tablets won't help..ok it makes me feel better but it doesn't improve the job. I thought about some rescue remedy for the fast beats and panic and embarrassment I get at work but wasn't sure if it would work. There's little I can do all week to keep my mind off things...
I just feel everything is not where I want to be..ideally I'd be in a long term relationship, in love, better friends, considering moving out, a job that's barable or enjoyable..I like shop work better. I guess I am making a big fuss but it's troubling me so I have to seek advice. Now I seen my brother wait until he was about 28 before all that happened so as the clock ticks the pressure mounts for me as some have better luck..
Surely there's easier ways of coping than this without doctors and so forth? It's just all got on top of me... My concern at the moment is how I felt this morning was I close to losing it? Was I turning crazy? and what do I do next.. I feel I'm the only person who is in this saturation and feels this bad about it..surely others find it easier?
:blush:
Phil: Try to deal with one thing at a time, rather than getting into a battle with all these negative feelings you have. As I said in a previous post, I personally think that you should tackle your anxiety as first priority. If you don't, you could find a good job tomorrow, do really well for a while and then when you come across stress (which is inevitable in any job) you'll be feeling as you do now because the anxiety is still there. I know you think that your anxiety/depression is situational and due to the factors in your life, but it's not so much the stress and difficulties in life but how we respond and deal with them that's important. As Myra said, your state of mind is the important thing here.
Part of your anxiety is perhaps being afraid to do anything about it. I think that once you do something about it then things will begin to fall in place for you. You're only young and have lots of time ahead of you. Don't compare yourself to others. Just because someone else has been misfortunate doesn't mean it's going to be you.
Also, it's normal to think that you're the only one suffering all this, but you're not - the reality is that lots of people think they are worse off or unluckier than others.
All the best.
Just wanted to post an update. I managed to find my way into work today despite my worry I'd never go back. Seems it was a blip not going in I guess everybody gets like that. I got phone calls for another two interviews for this week so hopefully this time things will look up. :D
I'm glad you went in - you'll feel better in yourself for doing that. Hopefully another job will come up at some point when you least expect it and it will make you happier. I was listening to a psychologist at work today talking about someone and he was saying that you've got to make yourself do things in order to lift your mind. I can't agree with him more.
Myra:)
Avoiding things is never the answer .Im sure you will get another job eventually Phil .so many people are in the same boat at the moment ,my older son hates his job ,but cant afford to leave ...Dont give up trying ,you are only a failure when you give up ..Wishing you the best of Luck with the job interviews next week ... Try to smile at the interviews ,it helps ..Luv Sue x
I'm glad you went in - you'll feel better in yourself for doing that. Hopefully another job will come up at some point when you least expect it and it will make you happier. I was listening to a psychologist at work today talking about someone and he was saying that you've got to make yourself do things in order to lift your mind. I can't agree with him more.
Myra:)
Well I've done it and walked out. Sorry to come and post more bad news after it looked to be "ok". Basically I left the building for 15 minutes for lunch and it's against the official rules so I'd have been disciplined. I was on my final written warning as they had pulled me up for silly things before so I was probably in for a sacking if I stayed. The anxiety as kind of getting to me today in the job too which never helped my choice. Still feel I'd probably have maybe walked anyway..
So what do I do now? Kind of stuck. I'm glad I left with an excuse rather than not went back but I'm feeling as it's not the first I've walked out on. I feel ashamed of myself as I wanted to leave on my notice.
I'm in a stuck situation I find out on Monday or Tuesday If i got that other job. Now I can't get a reference prob. I have another interview on Thursday so I will have to come up with a mighty good excuse why I'm out of work...I hope I'm not going to regret this for months. :weep:
Listen, to be honest I think they've probably done you a favour as what kind of workplace doesn't allow you to leave the building for lunch? Sounds more like a workhouse. You just don't know what's round the corner for you, it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. You might be lucky with one of your recent applications. Don't let this make you feel worse. Just keep going and there'll be light at the end of the tunnel, there's got to be!! I know, it's so unfair at times.:shrug:
Listen, to be honest I think they've probably done you a favour as what kind of workplace doesn't allow you to leave the building for lunch? Sounds more like a workhouse. You just don't know what's round the corner for you, it doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. You might be lucky with one of your recent applications. Don't let this make you feel worse. Just keep going and there'll be light at the end of the tunnel, there's got to be!! I know, it's so unfair at times.:shrug:
I've had very few jobs that are that strict. Generally if you take a "paid" lunch you are supposed to stay on site if you take an hours unpaid you can go where you like. In this job it's like 15 minute breaks it was my fault in a way as I knew the rules. So in a way I'm glad I got that excuse to walk as disciplinary action is stressful. I'd have probably walked out of a similar situation years ago just I am trying to be mature now.
I feel mixed on it. Let myself down but given how long I had been job hunting, phoning in sick and not wanting to go back it's for the best. I've noticed my anxiety dropping at times so perhaps I can put this all behind me and focusing on cutting all the anxiety or even at the level it was before.
It was either walk or finish the two hours to go and face the disciplinary action so that's it done and dusted.
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