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gypsywomen

03-11-09, 11:01

hello it me ,,maggy well i have been doing and feeling great,,as you can tell by replies to many of you....well till yesterday.. my daughter who is 24 walked in with her sister ,and dropped a bomb shell... she had just been up to hospital for a test to see if anything in her womb as she had a smear test witch came back abnormal,,hope your with me so far ,,I knew nothing about smear test or results and that she had to go hospital, well they found a mass ,so they gave her biopsys 3 to send off to be tested or cancer,my other daughter saw the mass on screen as she went in with her.seemingly this has been going on for weeks but she never told me ,,she has 2 little boys and great husband and only lives at the back of me on next close ,,we have always shared everything,, i am now very worried about her ..but cant let her know as she has to stay strong ,,the thing that upsets me she never told me i would have gone with her to hospital ..i love her so much plus all my family. last week she had hernia op i was there with her hubby all day till i knew she was ok ,still she never mentioned this ,,it makes me cry ,,i know she loves me ,,but something like this i feel she should have told me i am her mum...i would like your opinion on this ,,hopefully the biopsy come back ok ,they are going to remove it anyway,,but today i feel so anxious ,,very very,,,maggy

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 11:40

tetley your right bet i was a cancer nurse saw some sad cases so i am so worried do you think this why my anxiety so high

tasia

03-11-09, 11:41

Hi there Maggy,
I agree with tetley above, your daughter was trying to protect you and to stop you worrying, ofcourse she loves you, by doing what she did to protect you from worrying about her just goes to show how much she loves you.
Im sure it will all be fine with your daughter. My friend had exactly the same thing and everything has turned out absolutely fine with her as im sure it will with your daughter. Take care and try not to worry but being a mum myself I know whatever I say you will still be worried for her. Everything will be fine you see x

03-11-09, 11:48

Hi Maggy,

I'm sure your daughter just didn't want to worry you further about this, try not to dwell on the reasons why she didn't tell you, it was because she loves you and didn't want you to feel bad.

I have had two abnormal smears over the years (I too did not tell my mum for the very same reasons - to protect her - she too is an anxious person). i have had biopsy's at the hospital which thankfully have come back clear both times. It is scary at the time (the very thought of the C - word is scary enough) but remember the very reason that we have smear tests regularly is so that they can catch any abnormality early, hopefully before it becomes dangerous.

All being well, because of this abnormality your daughter will be called back even more regularly for smear tests in the years that follow, so you can rest assured that the professionals are keeping an extra special eye on her (I had to go back every 6 months for first year I think, and now go back every year, rather than the standard 3 years). It's an excellent service and I feel gives extra peace of mind.

I won't say don't worry, because obviously you are going to , but I hope reading some advice may make you feel a bit better, and remember your daughter hasn't told you about this because SHE LOVES YOU!
:bighug1:

CC

03-11-09, 11:49

Hello me again, just read that you were a cancer nurse so you probably know all this - hope I didn't sound patronising, just trying to help.:blush:

BexieB

03-11-09, 11:50

Hi gypsy

i'm sure it's worry over your daughter's health that's causing your anx. You must know in your heart that she didn't tell you in order to protect you and that is an act of love

Anx is so weird, not like ordinary worry, it goes beyond specific concerns and covers the whole world in a blanket of doom, dispair. It's amazing that we can't even tell what's causing it, just seems to have a life of its own.

Really hope you feel well soon.

Peace and solice
Bexie

teez

03-11-09, 12:02

hiya maggie ive been in this position hun,,,i found a lump in my breast may four years ago,,,hubby was worried he was losing his job,,so i couldnt turn to him,,my sons both had holidays coming up,,and i knew they wouldnt have gone,,plus they work hard and i didnt want their hols spoilt,,my daughter and i grew up together as i had her when i was sixteen,,we were more twins than mum and daughter,,i just couldnt panic her,,poor mum had just lost dad,,so i walked my worried path alone ,,i never told my loved ones till after the biopsy came back as positive for breast cancer,,i wanted to shield them for as long as poss,,they saw that ,and after my telling off in the begining,,understood my reasons,,if it comes back id do the same,,she not cutting you out ,,shes shielding you,,i bet she was longing to turn to you,,like i was my mum,,you have a lovely giving daughter,,be proud and stay strong for each other:hugs:

mandyclare

03-11-09, 12:19

Hi Maggie....

As a mum I can understand how upset and worried you are but yes i agree with all the above that your kind, caring daughter was trying to protect her lovely mum from worry.

It's good they are doing the biopsy because they will probably find it is nothing to worry about and anything that needs treatment will get it.

She will be fine.

Hugs

Mand x

nutteetart

03-11-09, 12:31

She is very young and i am sure she will be fine. I too believe it was because she loves you that she didnt tell you. Think about it... if she had said anything you would have worried and worried and it could have been nothing. Now you know what the state of play is you can be more constructive. Not surprised you are anxious hun, who wouldnt be?

Keep us posted.
Fay
XX

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 12:54

Hello me again, just read that you were a cancer nurse so you probably know all this - hope I didn't sound patronising, just trying to help.:blush:cc you did not sound anything but careing thank you:hugs::wacko:

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 12:58

i would like to thank you all so much yes your so right she didnt want to worry me ,i can see that now after all you have said your like a great big family love maggy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1 ::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:

KK77

03-11-09, 13:36

Sorry to hear that Maggie.

Hope everything goes well for your daughter. X

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 13:49

Sorry to hear that Maggie.

Hope everything goes well for your daughter. Xthank you so much:hugs:i will let everyone know how it goes

junie7

03-11-09, 14:01

Hi Gypsy Woman,

You come across very kind caring and supportive on this web site with the comforting replies you give to people who need help and obviously your daughter takes after you in not wanting to cause you any undue anxiety.

I'm sure she will know exactly who to turn to when she needs a mothers comfort and advice.

onceagain

03-11-09, 14:03

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 14:12

Maggs

You have been so strong for everyone else now relay that back on yourself, she came to you when she got the news because she loves and needs you, it does sound as if she was trying to not worry you too much until she knew a bit more.

Thinking of you xshe is the sweetest women training to be a midwife ,,it has upset the family over ppast couple of years ,about me they all care so much ,but i want to give baCK TO THEM nOW I AM NOT HALF AS BAD AS I WAS,,, CAn you understand this sorry about caps cliked by mistake hope your good love mags

PanicOver!!

03-11-09, 14:21

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 14:25

Hi Gypsywoman

God i feel for you i have kids myself and them being ill would be worse than me being ill.... dont be too hared on them though im sure they were just trying to protect their mum... i did the same whan i started having panic attacks ... it was ages before i told my loved ones..

You are never alone

Thinking of you xyour riht i just want her to be well ..thats why i am upset i cant let her know how i feel,, i am glad i have you and all my dear friends on here

PanicOver!!

03-11-09, 14:27

You are always there for everyone else now its your turn to lean on us
Anytime you need a chat please feel free to pm me x

Maj

03-11-09, 15:26

She wouldn't tell you because she knows how worried and distraught you would feel. My mum knew I had been recalled after a breast screen and she was desperately praying that I'd be okay and I really felt for her. I don't think I'd put her through it again. I can see where your daughter is coming from - she's done it because she doesn't want you to worry you. I really feel for you as our children are everything to us - and it doesn't matter what age they are. If they're okay then we're okay. I hope your daughter gets on well and my thoughts are with you too.:hugs:
Myra x

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 15:41

thank you myraxxxx

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 16:20

http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m13/y-y-09-9-9/th_6612_1210465980482_1193717259_60-2.jpgthis is my daughter you can put a face to who i am so worried about xxxbless her

austin123

03-11-09, 16:28

just read that you were a cancer nurse so you probably know all this - hope I didn't sound patronising, just trying to help.

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 16:53

Austin you didn't my friend you were being very helpful ,,its worse when you worked with it and saw what it did not just the end ,,but thank the lord a lot recovered and those were good days , so i think this is why i am so anxious it was because of the nursing i started with anxiety, plus other stuff once again thank you

gypsywomen

03-11-09, 18:06

your all so great feel bit better now thank you for all your support

sue681

03-11-09, 19:06

maggie
i hope shes ok , yr daughter is only doin this because she loves you and knows you'll only worry yrself into bein ill againI can understand how u feel not bein there for her had havin no idea of what was goin on but at least you can be there for her now and sometimes it does you good to have someone else to worry about , it makes you stronger as it takes yr mind off yr own problems !
hope all go's well
sue xx

mumof4

03-11-09, 19:40

i hope ur daughter will be fine i know what its like its normall to worry about our kids and especilly with cancer and that, as u have worked with cancer patinets u know what the outcome can be and of course when its ur kids u think the worse,

i wish ur daughter all the best and let us know how she gets on/

MOJO

04-11-09, 09:07

Thinking of you and your daughter maggie. I hope you get good news. She was definately trying to protect you by not telling you at first. It's obvious that you have a really good relationship and love each other very much.
Judy.xxx:hugs:

gypsywomen

15-11-09, 09:32

as you know i was worried about my daughter ,well she has her results from biopsy they have found pr cancerous cells on her cervix she has o go into hospitel on 9th December to have the mass removed ,i am being strong for her she look ill and thin not like her photo i put on this thread but i am going to be positive she wants me to go with her husband ,that day i will ,, this is a time for putting my struggle with anxiety on the back burner ,, i will do my best love margaret xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxps thank you for all your kind comments:hugs:

Maj

15-11-09, 09:59

Hello maggie,

What a worry for you with your daughter. It must be so difficult seeing her like this. I'm sorry, but there's nothing more I can say other than I really hope her op goes well, that she recovers well, and that you can all put this horrible experience behind you. I feel for you so much and my heart goes out to you all.
Love
Myra x :hugs:

MOJO

15-11-09, 10:04

Hello Maggie,

I am sorry to hear that your daughter has to have an operation. I hope and pray that all will go very well and she will soon be on the road to recovery. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
Love judy.xxxx

gypsywomen

15-11-09, 13:14

thank you mojo yes i am very very worried

mandyclare

15-11-09, 13:20

hi Gypsywoman.... sorry to hear your daughter has to have an op... my best friend had an op of sorts (laser surgery) for pre cancerous cells on her cervix many years ago... she still has to have yearly mears but is absolutely fine... im sure your daughter will be the same. Keep us informed as to how she is getting on... thinking of you.

Mand x

KK77

15-11-09, 14:33

I hope it all goes well for your daughter. X

gypsywomen

16-11-09, 14:57

she went to doctors today as its starting to worry her she is loosing so much weight thank you all my dear friends

mandyclare

16-11-09, 15:01

Gypsy... hopefully it's just the stress of the worry that is making her lose weight... i had a cancer scare over the last week or two which has proven to be a huge fibroid and i could hardly eat.. i definately lost some weight in that week or so (even though i need to so was maybe a good thing).

Be positive .. there is a very good chance if they are saying pre cancerous cells (these are very common) that she will get laser treatment and have no more problems. I know 3 people in all who have been treated for pre cancerous cells on there cervix and as with my best friend all get yearly smears and other than that are living completely normally.

Thinking of you
Hugs
Mand xx

gypsywomen

16-11-09, 15:41

she goes in hospital for it removing 2 weeks yes i am keeping positive thank you

gypsywomen

30-12-09, 09:48

hi all my daughter got resuts f byopsy today all clear ,i am so relieved ,thank you all for prayers and goo wishes love you all my friends xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxshe isover the moon bless her

MOJO

30-12-09, 09:52

Thank God for answering our prayers. What a wonderful bit of news to start the New Year. I'm so happy for you all.
Judy.xxx:hugs:

BabyRachel

30-12-09, 10:25

Im so sorry this is happening to you... Your daughter must not have wanted to worry you, of course she loves you and knows you would be there for her..

Ddcoo

30-12-09, 14:55

I am so very pleased to know that your daughter is fine and I sincerely hope that you can see the new year in with a happy heart. I would like also to thank you for the support you gave me when I had a chest infection 3 weeks ago, you are so kind and helpful. I hate having anxiety but I guess its here to stay but with friends on here it makes it more bearable. Bless you.

Wee-Mee

30-12-09, 15:03

Hello there..I have just read your thread and your worries and I was feeling really bad and wanted to say something supportive but it turns out your lovely daughter is fine now which is absolutely wonderful news! I can't imagine the worry you were going through.
But yes I can only agree with what others have said in that your daughter kept it form you so as to not worry you. *hugs*

Again..I am over the moon fo ryou and your daughter. Hope you have a great New Year..all the way through :D XXXX