skibba
08-11-05, 12:40
Hi, i'm 21 and took LSD, once, three years ago. I had a very bad trip that ended with me being hospitalised for three weeks. I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder/drug induced manic-psychosis. I responded well to treatment and was back at home where i spent a long time recovering.
I started a job, working in a petrol station, which i enjoyed and lasted 2 and a half years. I quit the job because of panic disorder. My first panic attack occured whilst i was at work. I was manning the cash desk solo and had a queue of customers. I recognised the sensation instantly. It felt like LSD. My vision distorted and my heart started pounding very fast. My first feeling was that this was an LSD flashback. The feeling past after about 10 minutes. I felt weak as if i'd just run 400 metres. I put the experience down to the LSD and assumed it wouldn't happen again.
One week later, it happened again, in the same situation. Alone at work, a queue of customers and a forecourt full of cars. I felt as if i was going insane. Having been pretty insane once (2002), i feared i was losing control once again. But the feeling past. It once again left me feeling emotionally and physically drained. I completed my shift and went home. Then, in the following week, the symptoms i had experienced returned whilst i was at home. I was fearing the worst. Catastrophizing... I felt so strange and panicky i went to the A&E department. I told the receptionist i was having a mental health crisis. I waited 3 hours in the waiting room to see a psychiatrist.
Once i explained my symptoms to him he assured me i was not going mad and this was a clear case of a panic attack. He, the psychiatrist, prescribed me some LORAZEPAM which worked well and within 10 minutes i was calm and relaxed.
I have not been back to work since and have signed on for all the benefits i can recieve. I have been having panic attacks and general/free-floating anxiety with agoraphobia for nearly a year now. I have managed three trips abroad. Two to Spain, and one to the Carribean. But the thought of having another panic attack is constantly with me. The fear of the fear.
Having been in close contact with a mental health trust for 3 years meant easy and quick access to doctors and therapists. I was prescribed CITALOPRAM. The SSRI made things a lot worse for several months. I couldn't leave the house for a long period.
Only recently, now i have been stable for quite some time have I really been able to look at my symptoms and try to understand where my anxiety is/was coming from. I knew all my mental health troubles were caused/triggered by taking the potent hallucinogen LSD. So i thought that this might be the answer to my panic disorder. When i have panic attacks it feels like an altered state of consciousness. Like that experienced when i took LSD. I know LSD is unique in that symptoms can be experienced after taking it, while not intoxicated by anything. I recently have been thinking that maybe, the momentary re-exeriencing of LSD symptoms may be the trigger for an intesnse fear reaction (fear of losing control/going insane).
Now I have been looking into this i realise i may have HPPD or PHPD. POST HALLUCINOGEN PERCEPTION DISORDER with ANXIETY symptoms. This is a real illness which affects sight/perception. It does not mean i am less in touch with reality. It can and has interferred with my life and i am now seeking help.
Thanks
Skibba
I started a job, working in a petrol station, which i enjoyed and lasted 2 and a half years. I quit the job because of panic disorder. My first panic attack occured whilst i was at work. I was manning the cash desk solo and had a queue of customers. I recognised the sensation instantly. It felt like LSD. My vision distorted and my heart started pounding very fast. My first feeling was that this was an LSD flashback. The feeling past after about 10 minutes. I felt weak as if i'd just run 400 metres. I put the experience down to the LSD and assumed it wouldn't happen again.
One week later, it happened again, in the same situation. Alone at work, a queue of customers and a forecourt full of cars. I felt as if i was going insane. Having been pretty insane once (2002), i feared i was losing control once again. But the feeling past. It once again left me feeling emotionally and physically drained. I completed my shift and went home. Then, in the following week, the symptoms i had experienced returned whilst i was at home. I was fearing the worst. Catastrophizing... I felt so strange and panicky i went to the A&E department. I told the receptionist i was having a mental health crisis. I waited 3 hours in the waiting room to see a psychiatrist.
Once i explained my symptoms to him he assured me i was not going mad and this was a clear case of a panic attack. He, the psychiatrist, prescribed me some LORAZEPAM which worked well and within 10 minutes i was calm and relaxed.
I have not been back to work since and have signed on for all the benefits i can recieve. I have been having panic attacks and general/free-floating anxiety with agoraphobia for nearly a year now. I have managed three trips abroad. Two to Spain, and one to the Carribean. But the thought of having another panic attack is constantly with me. The fear of the fear.
Having been in close contact with a mental health trust for 3 years meant easy and quick access to doctors and therapists. I was prescribed CITALOPRAM. The SSRI made things a lot worse for several months. I couldn't leave the house for a long period.
Only recently, now i have been stable for quite some time have I really been able to look at my symptoms and try to understand where my anxiety is/was coming from. I knew all my mental health troubles were caused/triggered by taking the potent hallucinogen LSD. So i thought that this might be the answer to my panic disorder. When i have panic attacks it feels like an altered state of consciousness. Like that experienced when i took LSD. I know LSD is unique in that symptoms can be experienced after taking it, while not intoxicated by anything. I recently have been thinking that maybe, the momentary re-exeriencing of LSD symptoms may be the trigger for an intesnse fear reaction (fear of losing control/going insane).
Now I have been looking into this i realise i may have HPPD or PHPD. POST HALLUCINOGEN PERCEPTION DISORDER with ANXIETY symptoms. This is a real illness which affects sight/perception. It does not mean i am less in touch with reality. It can and has interferred with my life and i am now seeking help.
Thanks
Skibba