Dreaming of cheating?!

[Joellie]

At the moment im having mild anxiety about cheating on my boyfriend. Im really feeling like im back to normal with him now after a few months of relationship anxiety but recently (the last week or so) every night ive dreamt that ive cheated or nearly cheated on him with people. One night i was flirting with a new guy at college and wanted to seduce him, Another night i was out clubbing and got with some randomer and last night i dreamt i was on holiday and got with someone there. Its really upsetting me!

I dont want to be dreaming about this because its not what i want. The anxiety is that if im dreaming it maybe my subconcious wants it but then i know its anxiety because i get distressed at NOT wanting it to happen.

Gah! I cant stop the dreams but il talk to my counceller tomorrow about it see what she thinks!

[PanicOver!!]

Hi

Maybe your dreams are just saying you are very close to your boyfriend and perhaps are close to making a commitment with him, perhaps your dreams are a way for you to have a final safe fling before you commit to the relationship

[xxpearlxx]

Dreeams can mean alot of things maybe its showing you how close and how much you love your partner, it doesn't mean you would cheat on him only you can make that choice take care x

[Joellie]

Hey yeah. Ive been with him for 5 years next may, i am very close to him and we are commited i just get anxiety over cheating because my dad had an affair and im scared im gonna do the same thing

[PanicOver!!]

You are not your father

your destiny is in your hands.... dreams dont always come true

[harasgenster]

Often we become obsessed with things BECAUSE we don't want to do them. Knowing that it would be a "catastrophe" means that we feel urged to do it (like pressing the red button that says "don't press"). We're so scared of doing it we convince ourselves we will. Once when I was having massive anxiety problems I convinced myself I was going to commit suicide and I really, really didn't want to die. I had to sleep in a bed with my mother and she offered to hide all the knives in the house for me. Then she admitted that when she was young she used to worry that she was going to kill her parents.

We get obsessed with our fears and think we'll carry them out through anxiety. I think this is coming out through your dreams.

Don't worry. You ARE in control of yourself. You're dreams are just reflecting your anxiety and they mean nothing.

[Joellie]

Yeah i feel less anxious about it now. It seems a bit silly. I have councelling tomorrow and itl be something i discuss with her! I forgot my citalopram last night so i took it this morning instead so i guess that gave me a bit of anxiety.

[KK77]

No, it's not silly Joellie! It's just that when we suppress our innermost fears it may disappear from our conscious mind but it's still there in our subconscious and dreams are an expression of that. That's why some people with PTSD have recurring nightmares. X

[johnno]

remember dreams are as random as your thoughts :) but bcos they can happen we take thoughts too be too serious just dont take them too seriously and they will pass by :) like all thoughts do when not given attention , but dont think yr doin sumthin wrong cos yr not u dont bring dreams into yr head dreams come to u ..

[ElizabethJane]

This is really something you need to discuss with your therapist. The most important thing is what you feel about it. In my opinion we sometimes act out subconscious thoughts and feelings in our dreams. Sometimes our interpretation is accurate sometimes it is not. If you have this dream again you could always push the boundaries to see what would happen if you did try to attract someone else. My guess is that you would try to stop it or at that point you would wake up? At the end of the day dreams are dreams? Some therapists hold great power in their analysis others do not. It is what happens and your actions in your day to day life that matters. I hope that tomorrow holds some answers for you.

[Anxious_gal]

hmm I think we often dream about unusual things. I think that it's normal.
you say you don't want to cheat so that's a good thing!
Maybe your dreams are really about your dad cheating on you mum, maybe you have some unresolved feelings about it.
i've often had dreams about being with people i find repulsive!
so i don't think you should take these dreams too seriously