Should I be worried about this or just embarassed?

[harasgenster]

Hi
Just done something a bit silly. I ended up sleeping with someone on the weekend that I didn't want to see again. We agreed yesterday over the phone (because we'd said we'd start seeing each other) that neither of us actually wanted to get involved. I was relieved that there'd be no awkwardness as we are both comedians on the circuit and we'll no doubt bump into each other.

I had told him a show he wanted to see was sold out. This morning it appeared on my MySpace that an extra show had been added and I knew he'd be gutted if he missed it. Still half asleep I sent him a PM on Facebook that just said - new show added on this date, just thought you'd want to know, see ya.

Then I panicked. I realised there was a social implication there. I asked my mate and she said he'd think I fancy him. This hadn't even crossed my mind. I was just thinking it was a bit of a social faux pas to speak to someone after you've agreed you won't be getting involved. I don't even like this guy. He's not very nice. I just have a knee-jerk reaction to be helpful, even to people who have been unfriendly to me, and I don't think it through.

What do you think he'll take from the message? I don't want anything to do with him. I'm suddenly panicking that there's some unconscious drive in me to self-sabotage! This was very clearly a stupid thing to do!

It might be important to say that last night I found myself worrying about his welfare (he seems "troubled") despite myself - ie. wanting to "make it all better" even though I don't want to be friends with him.

What's going on? Why am I being such an idiot? I'm so embarassed about this! I want to tell my friends because I hope they'll help to calm me down but I think they'll shout at me for being so stupid.

[meg86]

Hello :)

We was talking about something similar to this in my CBT session yesterdat, when we are anxious we tend to over think things, mind read other people and often feel guilty for not helping someone out whether you like them or not!.

I think you are looking way to much into this, you have both made your intentions clear and thats the most important thing, nothing about your message suggested that you wanted to get involved with him, so where is your evidence that he will be thinking you are?

There is none! i wouldnt worry about this any further, intentions have been made clear, you are mind reading something that he probably wont be thinking, and by sending a messge to him wasnt really a stupid thing to do you was just being helpful.

I find alot of people with anxiety feel its an obligation to help others in need otherwise they will feel guilty that they didnt do something. This usually applies to anyone at work or people you dont know very well, stop beating yourself up :)

Take Care xxxx