benc117
04-11-09, 16:21
I'm called Ben, I'm 17 and have recently been told by my GP that I have generalised anxiety disorder. I first thought there was something wrong with my health when I was around 14-15. I noticed my lymph nodes or what I thought were nodes, were swollen in my groin, I had two hard feeling lumps either side of my groin that were symmetrical. These are about 1-2 cm long and 0.5cm wide at most. I had read that swollen nodes could be a sign of HIV or cancer and I was really scared of having a disease and then I could feel little pea shaped hard lumps on my throat then I felt a bump in my mouth. When doing my paper round one time when I was 15 my testicle hurt when i sat on my bike seat this went after about 2 days, this scared me. When in my science lesson in year 11 I felt pressure build up in my ears and after that they didn't feel the same as before. I also found a dark spot the end of my you-no what. I ignored these for around 2 1/2 years because I didn't want to find out I was going to die. I also had a throat infection around that time which made my ear canals feel like they were burning. I was given antibiotics for this and it got better. This is when I noticed post nasal drip or a ball of phlegm feeling in my throat.
Last year I noticed I was going to the toilet more (like a few minutes after I drink) and sometimes my stool seemed not exactly solid but not exactly diarrhoea. This worried me even more and I still didn't tell anyone what I felt because I was scared of death and finding out something was wrong.
In spring this year my friend noticed purplish scar like things on my back which started to worry me more that I had a terrible disease. Near the end of this summer I went on holiday to Scotland with my family and noticed some scaly reddish/brown spots on my skin that were dry and sometimes itched
and I threw up on one of the days then after that I had a moment where I felt vertigo and then my whole body felt weird and slow, sorta like I wasn't real and I thought I was dying. Then my stomach upset started, I feel bloated sometimes and I sometimes feel that I still need the toilet when I have just been and my stomach Growls a lot. When I stand up straight my stomach feels relieved a bit but then I feel my stomach beating.
Whilst this was all happening I started to get a fast heartbeat around people and I constantly feel like everyone is looking at me and already judging me. This made it hard to express myself and talk to others, people comment on how quiet I am and it makes me feel even more like everyone thinks I'm weird.
Then my vision got weird and I can see after-images of things even when looking at something for only a second and get motion trails behind fast things
and CRT monitors and t.v's annoy me a lot because they seem to vibrate a little bit and i get trails from them. I have visual snow and this increases when looking at white surfaces and Screens. I some times perceive my eyesight to pulse and i have floaters.
I decided finally to go to the doctors because I realized and tried to tell myself that if I had something bad I would be worse by now. It turned out I could just feel normal glands in my neck and the two lumps in my groin were most likely tissue. The spot on my nether region was normal and the spots I found on my skin were a common skin infection and my eyes were examined and the doctor couldn't see anything wrong with them and the purplish lines were strech marks, i have felt a bit better since i found out these were normalish things and i think my symptoms are anxiety, but my main fear is I will actually get a symptom that's serious but will ignore it like I ignored my other perceived symptoms or put it down to anxiety.
My GP said I can have six months of beta blockers and anti-depressants or CBT. I have opted for CBT at the moment as I am not sure I want to start medication as I think I can get addicted to things easily.
Last year I noticed I was going to the toilet more (like a few minutes after I drink) and sometimes my stool seemed not exactly solid but not exactly diarrhoea. This worried me even more and I still didn't tell anyone what I felt because I was scared of death and finding out something was wrong.
In spring this year my friend noticed purplish scar like things on my back which started to worry me more that I had a terrible disease. Near the end of this summer I went on holiday to Scotland with my family and noticed some scaly reddish/brown spots on my skin that were dry and sometimes itched
and I threw up on one of the days then after that I had a moment where I felt vertigo and then my whole body felt weird and slow, sorta like I wasn't real and I thought I was dying. Then my stomach upset started, I feel bloated sometimes and I sometimes feel that I still need the toilet when I have just been and my stomach Growls a lot. When I stand up straight my stomach feels relieved a bit but then I feel my stomach beating.
Whilst this was all happening I started to get a fast heartbeat around people and I constantly feel like everyone is looking at me and already judging me. This made it hard to express myself and talk to others, people comment on how quiet I am and it makes me feel even more like everyone thinks I'm weird.
Then my vision got weird and I can see after-images of things even when looking at something for only a second and get motion trails behind fast things
and CRT monitors and t.v's annoy me a lot because they seem to vibrate a little bit and i get trails from them. I have visual snow and this increases when looking at white surfaces and Screens. I some times perceive my eyesight to pulse and i have floaters.
I decided finally to go to the doctors because I realized and tried to tell myself that if I had something bad I would be worse by now. It turned out I could just feel normal glands in my neck and the two lumps in my groin were most likely tissue. The spot on my nether region was normal and the spots I found on my skin were a common skin infection and my eyes were examined and the doctor couldn't see anything wrong with them and the purplish lines were strech marks, i have felt a bit better since i found out these were normalish things and i think my symptoms are anxiety, but my main fear is I will actually get a symptom that's serious but will ignore it like I ignored my other perceived symptoms or put it down to anxiety.
My GP said I can have six months of beta blockers and anti-depressants or CBT. I have opted for CBT at the moment as I am not sure I want to start medication as I think I can get addicted to things easily.