back to square one

[loulou]

Hi,
Just need someone to talk to really you may have read in my other posts that my parents have been really arguing again like they used to when i first become ill which actually causedme to become depressed and anxious well things are still bad with them and its making me ill again they had a bad argument on sunday night and i walked out and went to my sisters my dad then phoned me and said my mum and dad were splitting up i felt so upset i had to go to bed to feel better cause i couldnt cope with how i felt like my world had ended then monday mornign they are ok agian they are going to see a realtionship counsellir next week so hopefully that will help but this is how they was before trying to kill eachother one minute and then all lovey duvey the next. its not right i feel like im living on egg shells. Its left me feeling really depressed again so i went ot see my comapny dotor at work today and told him i felt depressed (i said i think it was the antibiotics ive been taking for the flu was too embarresed to say my parents are nut nuts he he ) and he has told me to start taking my prozac every day again for the next two weeks and see how i go cause recently ive only been taking them every other day cause i was getting on so well now feel like im back to square one think im going to go to my own gp tomorrow to get a referral to a counsellor because i dont think this should have affected me the way it has im 23 I should be able to handle this sort of thing by now im not a child but its really hard. Sorry just needed to get that off my chest

Lisa

[tammyg]

Hi Lisa,

I don't think we're ever old enough to handle our parents arguing, it sends us back to our childhood, I'm sure of it!!

It's really hard but you have to try and think it is their problem and they need to sort it out. It sounds like they are trying to do this so hopefully it will all work out for you.

As you know you can make yourself ill trying to deal with other peoples problems. I was affected badly when my parents split up and it took a very long time to get over it. But they are much better now they are apart, and so am I!

*i feel like im living on egg shells* This is a really horrible feeling. I feel like this everyday at work, I just have to step back and hide out in my room some days! You just gotta find something that works for you. Maybe Rescue Remedy even??

Please don't feel like you are back at square one, things often seem worse to us than they actually are. You are doing all the right things by asking for help from the dr. If you need to take them everyday for a while then take them. As things get a little less stressfull for you, you might find the every day thing is not forever, just for now.

Anyway, my post is almost as long as yours lol so take care.

Tammy x

[nomorepanic]

My parents split when I was 10 and there were lots of arguements and throwing things lol.

I just decided that it was not going to effect me and I was going to carry on with my life. I think it did effect me and still does but I had to make a decision to let them get on with it and you need to do the same.

You can still love them both whether they are together or not and I think they maybe will work it out somehow.

Don't let them drag you down - it is their lives and their problem and though you are part of it you can't make them love/hate each other so distance yourself from it as much as possible.

Hope you can work it out.

Nicola

[desperate]

Hi loulou,

I'm going through the same atm, my parents have never really been that 'into' each other i guess it's more like doing it for the kids i guess. Which is their choice. I do feel it has affected me a bit esp in my relationships. But i have just had to try and learn from it rather than be angry and sad....which happends sometimes.

I'm 21 btw and i don't think u ever get to an age where your parents don't affect you a bit, coz really for the first well 18 years of my life they were the people i looked upto and respected and when you are told that it isn't exactly how it seems it does make you question things.

Just try and learn from their mistakes and don't get too involved, i made that mistake and it doesn't work!

I spoke to my mum about it the other day and she told me too much which upset me even further....parents hey! Who needs them!!

Sarah

[Piglet]

My mum and dad weren't exactly Mr and Mrs either and their rowing used to affect me too!!

I am now divorced myself and have really tried to minimize the effect on the kids (very hard) and both me and their dad do try very hard to make sure they feel loved at all times (hope we suceeded).

I too hate that walking on eggshells feeling - is it possible for you to distance yourself from the situation at all???

Love Piglet x

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Wannabeloved85]

I can relate to all of this! being housebound(my mum too) its hard to escape it all!