Do you worry about every little change/thing?

[ChrisMayo]

Hello all.

Just interested to know how health anxiety affects people.

For me at the moment, physically I feel pretty much healthy, but I notice tons of things which worry me, literally every day.

The blood tests, physical exams, xrays, ecgs, etc, all rule out having anything obvious or serious going on, yet something simple like a spot, or veins, or a rash, or a scratch, or a mole, can really set me off.

Yesterday I went to the hospital because I was freaking out about a large freckle I had, that I was worried was Melanoma. I've had it for years (probably always), but because of my health anxiety I was worried it was something deadly, which I hadn't had checked out.

The nurse took one look at it, and said, oh it's not a mole, it's a freckle, it's very healthy looking, good colour, shape, size, etc, you don't need to worry.

But in my head, I was thinking the worst.

Today in the shower, I noticed a red mark on my back, and totally panicked for a few minutes, even though it is most likely from sitting on a chair, or knocking it, or scraping the skin or something.

Noticing new veins, darker veins, weird looking spots, rashes, marks all fuels my anxiety, and even though they aren't causing me any problems, looking in the mirror everyday is a dread.

Does anyone else get this?

I think because everyone has said I am physically healthy, that I am constantly checking myself for reassurance that nothing new is coming up, but inevitably I focus on something I haven't seen before, and worry about that.

I want to just be able to ignore my body (unless it's anything drastic) and accept that is how I am, or have always been, and that everyone gets these things.

x

[meg86]

YES!!!

Its a nightmare, every little pain or twinge i become obsessed and the "what if" thoughts come in.

And obviously the more you focus on something the more it hurts and its a never ending circle.

I know its just anxiety because on my un anxious days im pain and twinge free!

Im trying to learn how to deal with this but its difficult. xx

[Debdaw]

Yes, I can relate to that - it gets to be an obsessive compulsive thing with me. My particular thing is checking for blood in respect of bodily functions when it shouldn't be there - even using a magnifying glass. Talk about torturing yourself!

[hunnybunny]

most definately, and the worst bit about it is if I go to the doctors and they have reasured me that Im fine I believe them while im there but on the way home I start panicking again thinking but they didnt do this or they didnt do that so how can they be sure, more often then not Im back in the surgery within a few days and the whole thing starts up again, its a rotten way to feel, so I fully understand what your going through, you are definately not alone.:hugs:

[MissBoo]

I have spurts of this now and then where every mark and vein or freckle freaks me out. I hate getting a shower because of this.

[ChrisMayo]

Hi guys.

Yeah, it's horrible. I went for a walk just now to get food and my back was hurting, and my internal monologue the whole time was just going "Hm, well I don't think I have a spinal tumour, because it would be extreme pain and getting worse, but I've had back pain on and off for a while, so maybe it's an organ problem, but hm, my blood tests were fine, maybe it is muscular because of tension, but i'm not that stress, oh but maybe I am because I'm thinking about it..." gets a bit ridiculous!

Hunnybunny i'm exactly the same. Sometimes i'll challenge them, or ask further questions, but when my Doctor comes across so useless that I think, oh he doesn't know what he's talking about. So I go somewhere else and get a second opinion, and when it is the same I think, oh, well they can't both be wrong, then sometimes get a third opinion, and it's the same, yet still I have the doubts in my mind. Then a few days later, like you, i'll be back checking it out again.

Just wish I could get on with normal life, but there is ALWAYS something, whether it's an ache or a twitch or tiredness or a rash etc, so I've never not got a reason to think something is going on.

:(
x

[Humly]

Yes. I have gone through some really bad times in the past just hopping from one thing to another and here I am again on my latest crusade. I was always searching for new things to worry about. With me its usually long and drawn out and goes on for months. Months and months of anguish usually over nothing. Its such a waste but part of suffering from anxiety. These days when I go in the shower I dont linger, just get in, do what needs doing and get out before I start noticing anything!

[lauren6]

If anyone has come to know WHY we do this to ourselves, please post. It is that way with me, every day I have something else. Every pain, every sensation is something brewing. This week I had shingles, a tooth abscess, a blood clot in my temple, a heart attack, a kidney stone and appendicitis. All in my head. I can't stand living like this anymore and want to know why, why. How can I change? I have read every book under the sun on this topic. They help temporarily and then the panic starts again. Sometimes I just cry my eyes out because I wish I weren't this way.

[SleeplessFog]

My issue is because I wouldn't accept that after all of the testing that was done...I still had pain and dizziness, so I was convinced there was something wrong with me.

Once I came to the conclusion that if I really had something wrong with me it would have surfaced in the past year with all my tests, I started to recover. I stopped dwelling on every twinge or pain, every time I have one, I talk to myself in my head about it(I know it seems weird, but it works).

I also am suffering from Survivor's guilt...so that may be part of it. I have wasted so many hours and days and weeks and months dwelling on being sick or feeling ill or feeling miserable....meanwhile my sister suffered in real pain and illness, as does my DH now, but they didn't dwell on it ever. To me I am doing a disservice to her memory by doing this to myself.

I accept that I have anxiety...it will not kill me...but I don't want it in my life everyday and I will do everything to make sure it doesn't control me.

Everyone is different...everyone has a different way of getting through their issues. There is no golden arrow, or else we would all be rid of our HA by now.

[westofengland]

hiya
yes I can totally relate to you i have a lot of HA about skin cancer too and have panicked about moles and freckles that have been there years or are harmless. Unless you are very fair, have been badly surnburned lots of times, and have a family history of melanoma, you are probably at no more risk than anyone else so try not to worry. I have a pretty good idea of what to watch out for when looking at moles (Cancer Resarch site is excellent) and now never go out without a hat. It's good to be aware of skin cancer risks, but don't let it take over your life and recognise our bodies (and skin) are always changing

[westofengland]

somebody else made a good point about survivors guilt - my wife died last year of cancer and it's triggered a huge HA episode that I am only just recovering from. I feel guilty that I am here worrying about every stupid little thing while she battled a real illness. But I am also using my HA to come to terms with the sadness and grief I feel and trying to move on

[Maj]

I think this comes as part of the anxious person package. I think once a worrier always a worrier. You just have to learn to accept and cope with it. When you really think about it - how many times have your worries led to the worst case scenario? I know it's not easy, I'm a born worrier myself, but I think as you get older you do accept that you are responsible for winding yourself up. I do think that looking after yourself helps, eating well, resting enough. It's when we're tired and stressed that we take it out on ourselves. When you feel well you can cope with anything better. So, you're not alone:hugs:
Myra

[june]

Myra, 2 weeks ago i could have written out your answer with confidence:yesyes:
But this past ten days or so i have freaked over all the stupidest things - I know that it is part of anxiety and can explain it to anyone who will listen.
BUT when it hits me like now - i am a jibbering wreck - all my knowledge applies to other people - i cannot control the awful fears.:weep:
I have just posted about the awful 'dizziness' - and i know it is a vicious circle - i worry about it and make it worse:blush: BUT trying to make MY HEAD believe what i am trying to tell it ........
June