pembrokeshire lady
06-11-09, 15:46
Hi . Im new on here , I dont even know if Im writing in the right place . I have had bad anxiety since I was about thirteen and I am 36 now . I have been taking seroxat (paxil ) on and off since I was 22. My doctor has been very helppful and has arranged cognitve behavioural therapy for me . Nothing really fixes me for good . I am a born worrier , nothing can change that. I have taken it upon myself to get help from another behavioural therapist . She was into relaxing me into a type of hypnotic state and getting me to chant out what I want from life , untill she thought I believed it , five minutes later when I got home I was the old me again.
My biggest fear for the last ten years has been my fear of my palpitations and skipped beats . I paid to see a private cardiologist that took my heart readings over 48 hours . During this time he picked up on several ectopic and supra ventricular ectopics. I then pushed for a heart scan , the one that checks the size of your heart and its functioning . This showed normal left functional , barely no valvular abnormalitys , which I thought was a bit of a vage thing to say. He therefore said it was nothing to worry about and said I needed no further tests. My doctor recieved a copy of this letter and said the same ,its time to decide to accept this and just get on with life . I am having huge difficulty with this and I cant move on . At time I am crippled with fear . I recently had to come back from a holiday in France, as I begged my boyfriend and my son to take the four hour ferry trip and 500 mile drive back after one day . I feel like the worst mum in the world ,I had promised my son eurodisney . I just couldnt stick it . The fear started inside me as I got more and more tired and the further we were driving away from Home , the more I was needing the toilet and getting a dry mouth and palpitations . I am home now but I never want to do this to my family again. Does anyone understand how I feel ?
My biggest fear for the last ten years has been my fear of my palpitations and skipped beats . I paid to see a private cardiologist that took my heart readings over 48 hours . During this time he picked up on several ectopic and supra ventricular ectopics. I then pushed for a heart scan , the one that checks the size of your heart and its functioning . This showed normal left functional , barely no valvular abnormalitys , which I thought was a bit of a vage thing to say. He therefore said it was nothing to worry about and said I needed no further tests. My doctor recieved a copy of this letter and said the same ,its time to decide to accept this and just get on with life . I am having huge difficulty with this and I cant move on . At time I am crippled with fear . I recently had to come back from a holiday in France, as I begged my boyfriend and my son to take the four hour ferry trip and 500 mile drive back after one day . I feel like the worst mum in the world ,I had promised my son eurodisney . I just couldnt stick it . The fear started inside me as I got more and more tired and the further we were driving away from Home , the more I was needing the toilet and getting a dry mouth and palpitations . I am home now but I never want to do this to my family again. Does anyone understand how I feel ?