Need advice

[chantelle]

I have been suffering depression and anxiety for 10 months now. I am improving (slowly) and can see light at the end of the tunnel. However I get really upset easily and that makes me behave irrationally. Last night my 14 year-old daughter started the ironing but kept disappearing to the phone and I lost it with her and had a big row. She broke down and began to cry about how miserable she is and how she worries about everything and dreads someone dying as she thinks of funerals and has visualised all of her friends and families' funerals. I am really worried about her and because I was so 'not my self' for so long I talked to her everytime I was feeling low and relied on her to help me through as she is so mature for her age. However, last night I saw her as a frightened little girl. As she is my first daughter and I'm 41, I can't remember feeling like this at that age - is it normal and what can I do to help??? I feel that it is because of me she is so bad and have felt worried all day.:weep:

Please anyone out there - give me any advice you can as I am desperate and thanks for reading my thread as I feel I am pouring my heart out

Chantelle.

[BexieB]

Hello Chantelle my love

I can understand your situation completely, my panic/depression started when i was 14, my mother having the same condition. My mother was up and down for most of my childhood, she's quite stable now, thank god. I really believe in a strong genetic link in this condition. But your daughter is in an extremely fortunate position in that she has a mother who wholely understands the condition. you just need to be there for her, tell her there's nothing she can't tell her and assure her that you, more than anyone knows how she feels. If my mother had done this for me, i feel it would have made such a difference.

You could beat yourself up on the nurture issue, ie. was your behaviour an issue in how she feels now. I've explored this for years now and have concluded that the nature issue ie. genetic link far outweighs any events during my upbringing.

Wishing you peace and solice
Bexie

[Alicat]

Hi Chantelle,

I'm really sorry to hear about the way your daughter's feeling. Please try not to beat yourself up about it. Depression and anxiety runs in my family too so genetics do play a huge part.

I think you've had some great advice already so not much I can add. I'd suggest taking you daughter to the GP if she feels ready to share it. Maybe she could write it down and show it to the dr if she can't talk about it.

I hope she starts to feel better soon :bighug1: