friends frightening me

[Louise2009]

Hi everyone,

I am wondering if anyone can give me advice on this - I've been suffering from anxiety and panic attacks this year, and am on the road to recovery, but it's been very slow. However, I find that friends really don't seem to be building me up and infact are feeding into my fears a lot of the time! For example: I am 32 and thinking of starting a course from next september and they are telling me they don't think I am ready yet etc etc. It really does knock me back everytime they speak like this, and I find it really patronising. It's as if they are all trying to give me their opinion and advice. I just don't know which way to turn anymore!! I don't even ask for their opinions! Please don't think that I am being ungrateful because I do understand that they are probably trying to help, but they are being very intrusive and seem to be forcing onto what they think I should do - and each one are telling me something different. They making me feel terrible. My councellor does not believe they are true friends. Has anyone else experienced this, and how do you deal with it?? :weep:

I would really appreciate any advice.

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Louise

Dont listen to your so called friends
you have to set your own goals as only you will know when you are ready
i did the same thing with a guitar course and got the same response from those around me.
yes the first one or two i was anxious but now 6 weeks on i look forward to it... and i have met some new friends

Listen to YOUR heart x

[Louise2009]

Thanks for your reply,

I think that you are right, I really need to listen to my own heart. It becomes so confusing and distressing trying to take on board everything they are saying.

Louise

[PanicOver!!]

Sure they all mean well but
Remember YOU are the boss of YOU


Good luck x

[den68]

i have found that listening to friends and families advice although they meant well just made me feel worse. You need to do what you want to do. Just tell them politly that you think the course will be good for you and that if you dont like it you can always quit

[harasgenster]

Agree with the above. The worse thing for an anxious person to do is live in a bubble. You have to get on with your life. I think your friends are concerned for you. They're worried you'll relapse, but they're not the anxiety experts. If they are aware that you are seeing a therapist just tell them the therapist thinks it would be a good idea to help COMBAT the anxiety and that your guts tell you the same. You have to be able to get on with your life. People will generally agree with the advice of an expert and if you tell them your therapist is behind you they might reconsider.

Do what's best for you.

[Meewah]

It sounds to me like they are suffering anxiety too. I feel they are being over protective. I feel as a friend you should be supportive of someone as the way people are is subjective. I would never judge what my friends chose to do. It may be time to have a one to one with your friends or consider upgrading them. Times like this where you need supportive friends.


Take care. I feel you are doing the right thing.

Mee

[johnno]

louise the best thing about this life is you can do something and if it wasnt right u can do something else if we all listened to what other ppl said we never get anywhere :)
all i can say is do what u feel is right and beneficial to u and dont worry about failing too much , anything is possible

[Louise2009]

Thanks so much everyone for your replies and support. I agree harasgenster that I think they are worried I will relapse, as a some of them have said that to me such as 'what if you get worse, then what will you do' and 'if you are not ready to do this, then you certainly won't be ready to do that'. Its comments like that which are really making me lose confidence.

Anyway, like you all say, I have to do what is best for me.

Thanks again.