lying flat phobia

[louiseviolet]

Hi I am new and just came from the hospital where I was suppsed to have a CT scan of my kidneys with and w/out dye. First I had to drink one and a half liters of what I thought was water-looked like-but was dye. Already I wasn't feeling too good Then the nurse inserted the cannula for the dye. So far so good. Then they told me to lie down for 5 minutes for the scan and I couldn't! I was surprised! They kept trying and I kept jumping up and walking around and then found it hard to breathe. Finally they got me back to the table where I was fine but when I had to lie down I started crying and sobbing. I said this is not rational-help me. They all stood around looking at me and I began to feel so guilty-the tears were streaming down my face and my poor husband was already not feeling well and getting tired of it all. The doctor was summoned but would not sedate me for only 5 minutes. Eventually I managed the scan without the dye, crying and sobbing the whole time and afterwards shaking and sobbing. The doc was not happy to use dye as I acted like I was dying and it scared him. I was so embarrassed and feel so guilty about my husband. And this was not to do with the machine but lying flat. How weird is that. I tried visualising all the people I love, my grandchildren, happy places, etc none of which worked. They managed to prop my head at an angle that was not completely flat so that is why I was able to do it at all. Thanks for letting me vent.It sounds so weird to me . Why couldn't I just be afraid of spiders? (they dont bother me at all) Louise

[charlotte83]

You managed it though so well done for that :). Any kinds of phobias are caused when you are in a highly anxious state and your brain tries to rationalize the anxiety by attaching it to something at the time, ie in your case lying flat. Do you have to go back for anything else? If you do just try and remember that this is your brain creating this feeling no matter how bad it feels and nothing will happen to you.

[mandyclare]

Sounds like you have had a horrible ordeal.. so sorry to hear that.

Can you lay flat normally.. have you tried?

Maybe it was just a build up of anxiety over the medical situation and your anxiety focused in on the laying flat thing.

Anyway, you did good.. you got the test done and dont worry about what the drs thought.. they have seen all sorts before im sure.

Hope all tests are fine and you feel better soon

mand x

[erin31]

Hi Louise.
This has been horrible for you but you did it!
I don't think you should feel guilty or bad about how difficult you found it. The staff at the hospital deal with millions of people and we are all different and all have different fears.
I have had numerous MRI scans because of illness and it has never been a problem for me until the last one when I had a terrible panic attack once inside the machine.
I had to press the buzzer and ask to come out I found it so difficult to breath and could see the staff all looking at my notes and then at me rather quizzically because I have always been fine in the past.
I did go back in the scanner and they finished my scan quickly but it seemed like an eternity at the time.
Why did I suddenly panic this time? I have no idea but I know I will ask my GP for a slight seditive if I ever have to go back for another one just in case.

[louiseviolet]

thank you so much charlotte, mandyclare and Erin,
Yes I have had this phobia a long long time but last time I had a CT scan-several years ago- I was able to tough it out. Not this time. I tried to think what was different and finally came up with what I think may be the reason.Last year I sudddenly and unexpectedly lost the sight in my left eye (detached retina) and since then whenever I am out or even at home unless I am sitting quietly I have to be hyper concentrated and hyper vigilant and use all my senses to keep aware of where I am walking, and things like cooking etc require total concentration. I can no longer multi task-everything is about focus. I am also raising my 5 year twin grandsons, so if I am working with one the other has to go somewhere else or sit quietly. Obviously this is a big change and perhaps I should have seen it coming-the panic. The irony is my daughter has suffered from panic attacks forever and I didn't. Do you think I caught it from her:D Honestly I didn't care at all about the staff at hospital as I have a medical background and have assisted many patients there-anyway they were most unhelpful-I felt bad for my husband who has some sort of flu and was looking fed up. So yes Charlotte I think I was in a highly anxious state to do with my limited vision and the way I now have to handle sensory input. I consulted my daughter (the expert) and she said mum next time tons of xanax and a wheelchair.:) Thanks so much your kind words made me feel so much better. If I can help anyone let me know.

[louiseviolet]

I forgot to mention I cannot lie flat anywhere-not just in CT scan but ANYWHERE for more than a few seconds. I feel like the world is collapsing on me and I am in a black hole of desolation. A lot of really scary things don't bother me nearly as much-the definition of phobia I guess.But then I never have to lie flat normally so it is not a big problem usually.

[Maj]

Hi, what an ordeal you had to go through. Don't worry about the hospital staff - they've seen and heard it all. We all have our own unique phobias and worries which might make a bit of sense to us - or might not!! Try not to waste time worrying about what happened, it's over now and the hospital staff will have moved on to more patients with their own worries/allergies/fears!!
Myra :hugs:

[charlotte83]

I know its not the same thing but I was born with a lazy left eye and have less than 50% vision in my left eye. Apparently my brain has switched off the vision in it also so I don't really use it but I have adapted to that. Hopefully in time your brain will adapt to the limited vision you have as well and you will feel more comfortable with things so your anxiety about that should lessen :). Don't worry about getting anxious with the tests, I bet lots of people do, especially with MRI's and things as they get claustrophobic. You did well, keep going!

[louiseviolet]

Charlotte-interesting about your eye and I have heard and read of many people who adjust really well. I wonder if it has to do with the age one is when one loses the sight? I only mention this because it has not become easier and we are coming up to 2 years. If anything, I am finding it more difficult as my other (good) eye ages. I have zero night vision and am often out at night with at least one torch and sometimes 2 young children-that should make me panic as it is v dark here! I wish my eyes would adjust and it would become easier as you said but it hasn't at all. I dont want to relax when I am out and fall and break a leg! As it is, I often miss steps and level changes (my spatial awareness is severely compromised)-so far so good-but it is essential I maintain full awareness for safety and of course I then have to watch the children-it is a bit easier as they get older, but they are boys after all! Thanks so much for yur help.

[louiseviolet]

Hi Paul,
Yes the dentist has to adjust the chair for me but he does so quite happily.Sure lying flat wont kill me but as I explained since losing my eye I can no longer compensate fr the inner discmfort. I will sedate myself if I have to have any more tests. Have had this forever-so not looking for a cure really. Thanks-I agree with your descripton thanks a lot.Louise