SpaceGirl
08-11-09, 16:29
I came across this site a few hours ago and I just knew I had to join :)
I'm 17 years old. I used to get panic attacks constantly from the age of 13 or so for quite a while but once I finally accepted they were panic attacks and I wasn't dying of some unknown disease, I read a LOT of books and managed to shake them. I've felt the old symptoms coming back over the last few weeks but as long as I can remember they're just panic attacks and I'm not dying I think I'll be okay. I've managed to stop them before they start this far so I'm not too worried right now.
However :') I can't hide the fact that I'm quite shy and not very adventurous and a bit scared of a lot of things, but I manage to put on a front of being quite positive and always looking on the bright side of things. But on the inside, I'm actually a complete mess. I've lost count of the amount of phobias I have. I'm an absolute out of control hypochondriac. And I realise that I'm being ridiculous a lot of the time, but I still can't shake the feeling that every symptom is actually a life threatening disease! A lot of the time I can't sleep because I'm convinced I'll never wake up again. I'm quite paranoid and find it hard to believe that people are genuine and trustworthy and not everybody is against me. I dwell on everything for a long time and obsess about what I should've done differently. The worst case scenario is always the first thing that pops into my head. I'm fairly convinced almost every situation is likely to result in my death or the death of somebody close to me. I pretend I'm fine with criticism but on the inside even the slightest negative comment absolutely crushes me. I've never been very confident but just lately the confidence I do have is plummetting fast. I don't believe in myself that I can do anything and my college work is suffering because of it. I'm meant to be applying to University right now but I've completely lost all direction! I need to sort myself out and fast! That's the main reason why I joined. And also, reading a few of the posts and the responses made me feel like actually maybe I'm not completely insane after all, which I haven't felt in a long time! So thankyou everybody already :')
Anyway I have waffled on enough. I'm too shy to say much in spoken conversation, but on the internet it's a different story :') I apologise!
and I look forward to hopefully making a few new friends here :)
x
I'm 17 years old. I used to get panic attacks constantly from the age of 13 or so for quite a while but once I finally accepted they were panic attacks and I wasn't dying of some unknown disease, I read a LOT of books and managed to shake them. I've felt the old symptoms coming back over the last few weeks but as long as I can remember they're just panic attacks and I'm not dying I think I'll be okay. I've managed to stop them before they start this far so I'm not too worried right now.
However :') I can't hide the fact that I'm quite shy and not very adventurous and a bit scared of a lot of things, but I manage to put on a front of being quite positive and always looking on the bright side of things. But on the inside, I'm actually a complete mess. I've lost count of the amount of phobias I have. I'm an absolute out of control hypochondriac. And I realise that I'm being ridiculous a lot of the time, but I still can't shake the feeling that every symptom is actually a life threatening disease! A lot of the time I can't sleep because I'm convinced I'll never wake up again. I'm quite paranoid and find it hard to believe that people are genuine and trustworthy and not everybody is against me. I dwell on everything for a long time and obsess about what I should've done differently. The worst case scenario is always the first thing that pops into my head. I'm fairly convinced almost every situation is likely to result in my death or the death of somebody close to me. I pretend I'm fine with criticism but on the inside even the slightest negative comment absolutely crushes me. I've never been very confident but just lately the confidence I do have is plummetting fast. I don't believe in myself that I can do anything and my college work is suffering because of it. I'm meant to be applying to University right now but I've completely lost all direction! I need to sort myself out and fast! That's the main reason why I joined. And also, reading a few of the posts and the responses made me feel like actually maybe I'm not completely insane after all, which I haven't felt in a long time! So thankyou everybody already :')
Anyway I have waffled on enough. I'm too shy to say much in spoken conversation, but on the internet it's a different story :') I apologise!
and I look forward to hopefully making a few new friends here :)
x