LittleMissSunshine
08-11-09, 21:55
Hi there!
I have been reading this site for some time now but have only just registered and decided to take the plunge to be more a part of things. I have been suffering with anxiety since March 2008 when I had what I guess you could call a breakdown. Out of the blue, I got horrible feelings in my body and felt like I was buzzing inside. I went to A and E and to my GP several times, thinking I was really poorly. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety. My mum came and lived with me for 6 weeks. I couldn't watch tv, read or do anything. I lived hour to hour. The only thing that kept me going was knowing I could get an ambulance if needed. I didn't know what a hospital could do. My mum thought they wouldn't be able to do much and I needed to ride it out which turned out to be true but at the time I was so bad, I wanted to be admitted and sedated to stop the feelings. I can't quite believe how bad I was. After the horrible physical feelings came the thoughts. I have always had a fear of 'forever' and this magnified by a thousand. My fear of dying is something I am still struggling with. I could hardly eat and was physically sick during those six weeks. I kept trying to do normal things like iron clothes and would stand there crying. I would sit for hours, thinking what is the poing of life anc crying. Anyway, I forced myself to go back to work after 6 weeks and get back amongst people. I knew if I didn't, I could live my life like that. I am 'ok' now as in I have a full time job and friends and I go out but it's still a battle. I project a 'front' to the world when I am often very scared inside. I also have severe IBS and have had this for seven years. I think it was feeling so isolated (not being able to go for meals, travel far etc) that contributed to my breakdown. One good thing to come out of the anxiety is that I take more risks with my IBS and have managed to eat out and am working on the travelling. I am managing my IBS better. My tummy has swollen over the last few months however and I have gone up two dress sizes :( so having a CT scan tomorrow. Hope all is ok! Oops, I have talked way too much, sorry! But I have got it all out now, you know who I am so makes things easier for future posts:) Oh I should have said I am a 31 yr old female. It would be great to feel less alone and hear from people. xx
I have been reading this site for some time now but have only just registered and decided to take the plunge to be more a part of things. I have been suffering with anxiety since March 2008 when I had what I guess you could call a breakdown. Out of the blue, I got horrible feelings in my body and felt like I was buzzing inside. I went to A and E and to my GP several times, thinking I was really poorly. I was diagnosed with acute anxiety. My mum came and lived with me for 6 weeks. I couldn't watch tv, read or do anything. I lived hour to hour. The only thing that kept me going was knowing I could get an ambulance if needed. I didn't know what a hospital could do. My mum thought they wouldn't be able to do much and I needed to ride it out which turned out to be true but at the time I was so bad, I wanted to be admitted and sedated to stop the feelings. I can't quite believe how bad I was. After the horrible physical feelings came the thoughts. I have always had a fear of 'forever' and this magnified by a thousand. My fear of dying is something I am still struggling with. I could hardly eat and was physically sick during those six weeks. I kept trying to do normal things like iron clothes and would stand there crying. I would sit for hours, thinking what is the poing of life anc crying. Anyway, I forced myself to go back to work after 6 weeks and get back amongst people. I knew if I didn't, I could live my life like that. I am 'ok' now as in I have a full time job and friends and I go out but it's still a battle. I project a 'front' to the world when I am often very scared inside. I also have severe IBS and have had this for seven years. I think it was feeling so isolated (not being able to go for meals, travel far etc) that contributed to my breakdown. One good thing to come out of the anxiety is that I take more risks with my IBS and have managed to eat out and am working on the travelling. I am managing my IBS better. My tummy has swollen over the last few months however and I have gone up two dress sizes :( so having a CT scan tomorrow. Hope all is ok! Oops, I have talked way too much, sorry! But I have got it all out now, you know who I am so makes things easier for future posts:) Oh I should have said I am a 31 yr old female. It would be great to feel less alone and hear from people. xx