Eating Disorders/Body Dysmorphic disorder

[harasgenster]

Anybody suffered from these and found a way to get over the thoughts?

I had eating disorders for 6 years and don't starve/binge anymore but, now at a healthy weight, I get upset putting clothes on, looking in mirrors, having pictures taken, avoid nights out with friends and dates in case I have to "dress up". If I do attend I am miserable all night because I want to wear something baggy.

People often compliment me on my looks but I can't see it. I hate the way I look and feel consistently embarassed by it. When people give me compliments I get angry (though I don't actually know why this is...)

Anybody had this and know any way of getting out of it? It's been ten years feeling like this (since start of ED till now) - the only time I was proud of the way I looked was when I lost a lot of weight due to severe stress/burn out and was underweight no matter what I ate. I want to feel that way again but everytime I try to lose weight, something happens to make me feel bad and I comfort eat. I'm not overweight, but I want to be thin again. Not underweight but down to a BMI of 18 (now about 20-21). I have no confidence like this and keep wanting to cry.

[Maj]

Sounds like very low self-esteem. If people are complimenting you then that's nice. Try to accept the compliments. Remember, being overweight doesn't make you a second class citizen, we're all different shapes and sizes, it's what's in your heart that counts more than anything else despite what we think.
Myra:yesyes:

[harasgenster]

Thanks, I know, it's weird. Some of my friends are overweight and I would never think any of the things of them that I do of myself but I've only just become a normal size and I can't cope with it. I'm going to lose some weight to feel ok again, but only back down to BMI 18. I looked it up and this is still healthy. I just don't want to have to keep doing this.