work anxiety

[hely]

Hello everyone i would be grateful if i could be given some advice am so mixed up and afraid. I have bouts of anxiety, paraniora and depression . I started work in jan and most of the people are great except for one girl She always patronises me and because she has a side kick i feel she gangs up on me when i ask for information or help with work stuff with this other woman and cheekly shows me up i feel she does not take me serisously as a worker She also sits laughing and wispering to her "mate" which makes me feel uncomfortable I complained about her the other week to my line manager and an email was sent around about this problem Well since then she hardley speaks me ( just work issues) and im getting more and more anxious about the whole thing... IS IT IN MY MIND OR IS SHE REALLY AN IGNORANT PERSON THAT IS RUNNING ME DOWN that is what goes through my mind all the time I cant move anywhere else because of lack of space in office i just dunno what to do i like the job (first one in a long time due to health problems etc and i don't want to leave ) please help if you can understand this problem hely

[Maj]

There's always one, isn't there!! If you like your job then I would try not to be put off by this person's behaviour. Chance is no-one else really likes her if she's a nasty person. Try and just get on with your own job and speak to others who are nicer people. No matter where you work there's always some people you get on with and others you don't, it's just the way of the world. Difficult though it may seem, I'd ignore her and let her see you're not bothered.
Myra

[hely]

Hiya Myra thanks for reading my problem and giving me advice much apprechiated. Ive been thinking about the situation and still anxiious about it ..ive takin abit of time off work and ive talked to my gp ( she increased my citroplam to 60mg ) Ive a meeting with the oc health department tomorrow which i thought id mention this person but i dunno if it would make the matter worse for me,

I dunno wot it is about this one girl she just makes me soo anxious and i feel she is ruining my work life. She gets on with everyone else jokes on with them, talkes to them like human beings its just me that gets the crap attitude and pateranising remarkes
Ive taken time off work and i feel im just hidding away but i know the problem is not gonna go away by taking sick days off i hope this increase in medication will soon start to work so confused sorry about the spelling mistakes hely

[PoppyC]

Hi
Could you ask the person that is making you feel the way that you do, what her problem with you is. Tell her you object to how she is with you and why, confront her on her own and say you wish you speak to her.
I learned long ago after suffering bullying off certain people in workplaces that the best thing to do is to confront the person and situation then and there, rather than taking the issue home, dwelling on it and letting it make you miserable. I have left 2 good jobs in the past due to certain people, and looking back I really wish that I had had it out with them, then and there, and stayed.
Could you speak to your line manager again about how you are feeling? I would have thought she would be actually speaking to the person in question rather than emailing! Personally I would inform occupational health at your meeting. It should not make the situation worse for you. You have done nothing wrong.
I hope the situation gets resolved for you.:hugs:

[Maj]

I agree with Poppyc, could you ask her why she has a horrible attitude with you? I know confrontation is difficult but I think she owes it to you to let you know what her problem is. You say she gets on with everyone else but sometime people just pick one person to bully because of their own inadequacies. I think it's a shame you're the one who takes this home with them because she'll be oblivious probably when she leaves the workplace!! I'd come out and ask her and see if you can clear the air. I don't see why you should have to stay off or leave because of her. Let us know how you get on.
Myra:hugs:

[Downsinthenorth]

She's doing it on purpose because she is unhappy about something, or because she gets her kicks out of being able to make someone else suffer. Sadly there are people like that out there, but not too many (I hope).

You're being picked on at the moment because these bullies have a strong sense of when somebody is particularly emotionally vulnerable.

You can try confronting her, but in my experience these people feign innocence, and then often go on to persuade others that the person they are persecuting is the trouble-maker. Sadly, they are often believed as they are skillful manipulators of people.

I have been in a similar situation - it got so bad that I felt physically sick every time I was in the same room as this person. In the end I decided to use the experience to learn how to deal with the bullies of life. I decided I was going to focus on doing my job well, but also on being a nice person no matter what other people were like. I was civil and professional to the bully, didn't avoid them, but didn't go out of my way to spend time with them either - life's too short!

To protect myself and my feelings from that person, I imagined that I was surrounded by a very strong, but invisible shield, every time I had dealings with them. This allowed me to cope and, eventually, because they were no longer getting the required reaction from me*, they left me alone.

* It helps if you you look blank like you've completely missed the point when they say or do anything designed to get a rise out of you. They will become nastier for a while just because you don't react, but then they realise that they are risking exposing themselves to other people, and they move on to someone else.

[hely]

hello everyone thanks so much for the advice and support soo much apprechiated. I went to see the Occ Health woman on wednesday and broke down and told her about this girl and she said it was not acceptable and would write to my line-manager to put her in the picture and keep an eye on the situation!!!! anyway i went back to work yesterday and the girl said nothing to me all day except for just as i was leaving said a stupid comment to me .. I just turned to the others and said see you all tommorw ( hopefully leaving her looking stupid ) This is madness its like being a bloody school I DUNNO KNOW h X

[hely]

Hiya everyone Well im feeling much calmer about everything I think its the Citalopram kicking in (im on 60mg) a day I take them at night cause they make me drowsy a bit, Im not as anxious about this stupidd lass at work just try to ignore her and concentrate on my work and get the days work over I dunno just want to work and live my life ........ watch this space as they say.......h x