I really need some help, I'm struggling with this dilemma.

[guitarpants]

I can't tell if I'm being rational or completely irrational about this anymore. I'm having such a hard time. I have no history of mental illness or any medical problems. I was hoping some of you might be able to shed some light on what's going on here or give me a fresh perspective.

In late June of this year I woke twice with panic attacks out of the blue, no reason, no trigger. I didn't even know they were panic attacks at the time. They didn't happen again so I forgot about it. Everything was normal for the 2 months following that.

In early September I had more mild ones right before going to bed, still never having a panic attack triggered by anything or during the day. But I started having a myriad of anxiety symptoms even though I did not feel anxious at all. I got extremely scared because since I didn't feel any different, I had no reason to believe it was anything except for a medical problem. I won't re-list them, but I had just about every symptom listed on the "symptoms" page on this site. The first noticeable thing were the heart palpitations and skipped beats. When it didn't stop I went to the Emergency room and they did a chest x-ray, bloodwork, and EKG, which all came back normal. After that I felt better and more relaxed knowing there was no problem.

(When this all started I took a medical leave from school and quit my job to set aside time for myself to relax and get better, and return to life when I recovered. Admittedly, I was having a tough couple of months and a lot of major life changes all at the same time. I ran out of money for college, had to move, was having money problems, etc.).

Two days after, I had a sudden onset of lightheadness/dizziness, tightness/fullness/pressure in my head, loss of balance, weakness, jelly legs, and ringing in both ears. To this day (over two months later) most of these symptoms have not gone away. My dizziness and loss of balance and weakness seem to have improved, but none of the others have.

I don't feel the same as I did before this happened. It's hard to explain, but I feel like something is wrong inside of my head, it feels weighted, or fluid inside of it, and just a feeling of tightness or pressure but it's not a headache. I also have constant ringing in both ears. I have to stress that this never goes away.

Right after the incident with the heart symptoms, I took St. John's Wort 4 times, over a day and a half. 2 300mg capsules 3 times a day for a total of 2400 mg. I had also taken aspirin that day with it, to help with any heart issues I was fearful of. I have since learned that SJW acts as an MAOI and can be dangerous when combined with foods containing tyramine. Which, in hindsight, I think is mostly what I ate that day. Sushi, chocolate, avocado, etc. The problem is that it can raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels. If I was already stressed and had higher blood pressure, well you get the idea.

For that reason I've convinced myself that I had a stroke contributed to by stress and the St. John's Wort. I don't know if that is rational or if I'm being plagued by health anxiety and a lack of a reason for my symptoms. It was directly around the time that I took the SJW that these symptoms started and I did not go to the ER for a few days following it.

Now, over the past 2 months, I've gone to the ER 6 times and seen a couple of doctors and 2 neurologists. I've had an MRI without contrast, head CT, a few EKG's, ENG (tests balance organs and vestibular function), chest x-ray, EEG, and numerous blood tests. All of which came back normal. I did not however have an MRA, which I would really like so they can view the state of the blood vessels in my brain.

Over the past few weeks all symptoms of my anxiety have disappeared except for the head pressure thing and ringing ears. I am experiencing anxiety solely due to the fact that I don't have an answer, reason, or treatment from any doctor, and worry from what it could be. I feel if it would go away I could have a complete recovery and go back to life. It WILL NOT GO AWAY. I have to get back to working and going to school soon. The money I had set aside is rapidly disappearing.

I don't know what to do. If in fact these symptoms are caused by anxiety, I feel they will never go away since I keep worrying about them. Even when I don't, they do not go away or subside. I took Xanax for about a week and a half when I was at my worst with the anxiety and it only helped me sleep, didn't affect the symptoms. I tried Zoloft once and it only made things a lot worse. I haven't taken any medication at all for almost a month now and I actually feel better without it.

Do I have reason to keep seeing doctors and pushing for more tests and getting an answer? I've given it out a month of distracting myself and not thinking about it to see if it will go away and it has not. I feel like I need to know why I have these symptoms. When this all started I was not depressed at all, and now I am extremely depressed and don't see any way out of this situation.

[Veronica H]

Hi Ninja
Many of us here have and could have written very similar posts. There is comfort in knowing this. I realise that it is very difficult to believe that anxiety alone can cause such powerful symptoms but it can. Your nerves have become sensitised and the fear of the way you are feeling is keeping the cycle going by keeping your nerves sensitised. This is an illness of how we think.
There is a brilliant book by Dr Claire Weekes;SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES ISBN 0-7225-3155-9.This is available from the NMP shop. Dr Weekes was a fellow sufferer who really understood this illness. She took the mystery out of it, and devised a simple programme for recovery. I can't recommend this enough. This will get better.

Veronica:hugs:

[countrygirl]

Please don't worry about not having an mra - I developed a pulse in one of my ears about a year ago and was convinced that it was a major blood vessel in my head about to burst and eventually I had a full head/brain mri at my insistance not the Dr's:blush: and was told that a normal non contrast mri will show up any enlarged blood vessel and they would only use contrast if they find something that they want to look at more closely. So a normal mri would rule out all the things you are worrying about:D

[guitarpants]

I forgot to add that I'm 29, probably making it more unlikely that it's a stroke. However my sister had one at 39 and my uncle had a ruptured aneurysm in his late 30's, early 40's. So I have a family history. I guess I'm a very scientific and educated person, so I need facts and reasons. I'm not comfortable with doctors telling me I have an unpleasant condition with no reason for it, especially when my anxiety and panic has pretty much disappeared.

[mumsie]

Hi Ninja
You say in your first post that your symptoms started for no reason, then go on to say that you had serious life issues going on. It sounds as though that is still the case. You are worried about getting back to college and about money. You are also worrying about your health. There you have three reasons why you are still experiencing anxiety symtoms. Anxiety and panic never arise in a vacuum. There is always a reason, but often we dismiss it as not serious enough. Often it is a combination of lots of smaller things at the same time which tips the balance. You say you are a scientifically minded person so trust the scientists, i.e. the doctors, that there is no other underlying cause for your problems. I know it's not easy. I am in a similar situation myself, but the more you focus on it the more you will notice it. Hope things improve for you soon.:D

[guitarpants]

mumsie, I didn't really go into detail. But at the time that this all started all the life issues I had been experiencing were pretty much resolved. I was back in school, found a way to pay for school, and found a new job. I felt good about myself and was enthusiastic about things. That's why it's ironic that these debilitating problems started then, and not when I was under the most stress. Another irony to the situation was due to all of the symptoms I had to take a medical leave from school and quit my job and I'm back to square one now.

[mumsie]

Hi Ninja
My understanding of your post is that after experiencing many anxiety symptoms you took some St John's Wort at the same time as aspirin and also at the same time as eating foods containing tyramine, which can cause raised blood pressure and your blood pressure was probably raised already by the anxiety therefore it may have been raised again sufficiently to cause a stroke. There is a family history of stroke and aneurism which compounds your worry, understandably. You have had all the requisite tests except an MRA scan which you would like to have. You still have constant head pressure and ringing in your ears which is causing a vicious circle of anxiety to continue. I know nothing about medical procedures, but Countrygirl's post seems to suggest that the tests you have had done would have shown up the problems that are worrying you. If this is so, does that not reassure you a little? If you are not reassured, can you request an MRA scan to hopefully put your mind at rest? Also you say that you have been told you have an "unpleasant condition with no reason for it" but anxiety is a valid reason that you seem to want to discount. Are the head pressure and ringing in your ears so debilitating that you feel you cannot accept them and go back to school anyway and also find a job? If your problem is caused by anxiety then breaking the status quo and trying to pick up your life anyway may end the cycle and improve things. I understand how you feel. Anxiety has caused me to have what feels like a personality transplant over the last 9 months and I have been truly amazed at the symptoms it can cause. I hope you feel better soon.:)

[guitarpants]

I guess what doesn't help as well is the fact that my sister had a stroke and it did not show on mri, and she is very obviously handicapped. MRI is a good diagnostic image, but it does not show everything, it can miss quite a bit, and there are a lot of things that will not show at all.

[Humly]

Hi. I cant add much more to the other posts but I can understand where you are coming from in that you need answers to explain whats going on. But sometimes we just have to accept that there is nothing wrong and that it is anxiety causing these symptoms and believe me, I know just how hard it is to do this. It sounds as if you have had a delayed reaction to the previous issues that were going on which may have started all this in the first place. Medical tests are never 100% guaranteed to rule every little thing out but judging by what you have hade done already, I'm sure that if there was anything wrong it would have shown up. Take care and good luck. You are not alone.

[superjonboy]

Hi.

Are there any factors about your sisers stroke that you are discounting.

For example. Do you know the cause of your sisters stroke and is it something that doesn't apply to you. Did she have any health conditions that led to the stroke e.t.c

Like my uncle who is 60 had a stroke recently but it was as a result of treatment he was receiving for hep C i think. I know there were problems. Also my dad also had Hep C and he had the same treatment as my uncle but came through it fine. Doctors usually don't look at Uncles and focus mainly on your parents.

I was told this as 3 of my uncles have had brain hemouraghes. MY dad was checked when he was younger and the didn't find anything and said the old 99.99% sure thing. A neurologist tested me and also said it's unlikely given my dad was ok.

It does sound very much like Health Anxiety which looks to bever increasing. Most days I feel like I'm dying but everyone says it's just the anxiety.

John.

[agent orange]

Have you tried looking into the Somatoform Disorder?

[guitarpants]

Hi.

Are there any factors about your sisers stroke that you are discounting.


Oh yeah, I'm not discounting them though. I know she was on meds for high blood pressure and she was on birth control (Yaz) which as you may know, is under a great deal of scrutiny right now for causing strokes in women.

[guitarpants]

Have you tried looking into the Somatoform Disorder?

I have, but no one seems to think that's what's affecting me. (Doctor, therapist, etc).