guitarpants
11-11-09, 03:47
I can't tell if I'm being rational or completely irrational about this anymore. I'm having such a hard time. I have no history of mental illness or any medical problems. I was hoping some of you might be able to shed some light on what's going on here or give me a fresh perspective.
In late June of this year I woke twice with panic attacks out of the blue, no reason, no trigger. I didn't even know they were panic attacks at the time. They didn't happen again so I forgot about it. Everything was normal for the 2 months following that.
In early September I had more mild ones right before going to bed, still never having a panic attack triggered by anything or during the day. But I started having a myriad of anxiety symptoms even though I did not feel anxious at all. I got extremely scared because since I didn't feel any different, I had no reason to believe it was anything except for a medical problem. I won't re-list them, but I had just about every symptom listed on the "symptoms" page on this site. The first noticeable thing were the heart palpitations and skipped beats. When it didn't stop I went to the Emergency room and they did a chest x-ray, bloodwork, and EKG, which all came back normal. After that I felt better and more relaxed knowing there was no problem.
(When this all started I took a medical leave from school and quit my job to set aside time for myself to relax and get better, and return to life when I recovered. Admittedly, I was having a tough couple of months and a lot of major life changes all at the same time. I ran out of money for college, had to move, was having money problems, etc.).
Two days after, I had a sudden onset of lightheadness/dizziness, tightness/fullness/pressure in my head, loss of balance, weakness, jelly legs, and ringing in both ears. To this day (over two months later) most of these symptoms have not gone away. My dizziness and loss of balance and weakness seem to have improved, but none of the others have.
I don't feel the same as I did before this happened. It's hard to explain, but I feel like something is wrong inside of my head, it feels weighted, or fluid inside of it, and just a feeling of tightness or pressure but it's not a headache. I also have constant ringing in both ears. I have to stress that this never goes away.
Right after the incident with the heart symptoms, I took St. John's Wort 4 times, over a day and a half. 2 300mg capsules 3 times a day for a total of 2400 mg. I had also taken aspirin that day with it, to help with any heart issues I was fearful of. I have since learned that SJW acts as an MAOI and can be dangerous when combined with foods containing tyramine. Which, in hindsight, I think is mostly what I ate that day. Sushi, chocolate, avocado, etc. The problem is that it can raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels. If I was already stressed and had higher blood pressure, well you get the idea.
For that reason I've convinced myself that I had a stroke contributed to by stress and the St. John's Wort. I don't know if that is rational or if I'm being plagued by health anxiety and a lack of a reason for my symptoms. It was directly around the time that I took the SJW that these symptoms started and I did not go to the ER for a few days following it.
Now, over the past 2 months, I've gone to the ER 6 times and seen a couple of doctors and 2 neurologists. I've had an MRI without contrast, head CT, a few EKG's, ENG (tests balance organs and vestibular function), chest x-ray, EEG, and numerous blood tests. All of which came back normal. I did not however have an MRA, which I would really like so they can view the state of the blood vessels in my brain.
Over the past few weeks all symptoms of my anxiety have disappeared except for the head pressure thing and ringing ears. I am experiencing anxiety solely due to the fact that I don't have an answer, reason, or treatment from any doctor, and worry from what it could be. I feel if it would go away I could have a complete recovery and go back to life. It WILL NOT GO AWAY. I have to get back to working and going to school soon. The money I had set aside is rapidly disappearing.
I don't know what to do. If in fact these symptoms are caused by anxiety, I feel they will never go away since I keep worrying about them. Even when I don't, they do not go away or subside. I took Xanax for about a week and a half when I was at my worst with the anxiety and it only helped me sleep, didn't affect the symptoms. I tried Zoloft once and it only made things a lot worse. I haven't taken any medication at all for almost a month now and I actually feel better without it.
Do I have reason to keep seeing doctors and pushing for more tests and getting an answer? I've given it out a month of distracting myself and not thinking about it to see if it will go away and it has not. I feel like I need to know why I have these symptoms. When this all started I was not depressed at all, and now I am extremely depressed and don't see any way out of this situation.
In late June of this year I woke twice with panic attacks out of the blue, no reason, no trigger. I didn't even know they were panic attacks at the time. They didn't happen again so I forgot about it. Everything was normal for the 2 months following that.
In early September I had more mild ones right before going to bed, still never having a panic attack triggered by anything or during the day. But I started having a myriad of anxiety symptoms even though I did not feel anxious at all. I got extremely scared because since I didn't feel any different, I had no reason to believe it was anything except for a medical problem. I won't re-list them, but I had just about every symptom listed on the "symptoms" page on this site. The first noticeable thing were the heart palpitations and skipped beats. When it didn't stop I went to the Emergency room and they did a chest x-ray, bloodwork, and EKG, which all came back normal. After that I felt better and more relaxed knowing there was no problem.
(When this all started I took a medical leave from school and quit my job to set aside time for myself to relax and get better, and return to life when I recovered. Admittedly, I was having a tough couple of months and a lot of major life changes all at the same time. I ran out of money for college, had to move, was having money problems, etc.).
Two days after, I had a sudden onset of lightheadness/dizziness, tightness/fullness/pressure in my head, loss of balance, weakness, jelly legs, and ringing in both ears. To this day (over two months later) most of these symptoms have not gone away. My dizziness and loss of balance and weakness seem to have improved, but none of the others have.
I don't feel the same as I did before this happened. It's hard to explain, but I feel like something is wrong inside of my head, it feels weighted, or fluid inside of it, and just a feeling of tightness or pressure but it's not a headache. I also have constant ringing in both ears. I have to stress that this never goes away.
Right after the incident with the heart symptoms, I took St. John's Wort 4 times, over a day and a half. 2 300mg capsules 3 times a day for a total of 2400 mg. I had also taken aspirin that day with it, to help with any heart issues I was fearful of. I have since learned that SJW acts as an MAOI and can be dangerous when combined with foods containing tyramine. Which, in hindsight, I think is mostly what I ate that day. Sushi, chocolate, avocado, etc. The problem is that it can raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels. If I was already stressed and had higher blood pressure, well you get the idea.
For that reason I've convinced myself that I had a stroke contributed to by stress and the St. John's Wort. I don't know if that is rational or if I'm being plagued by health anxiety and a lack of a reason for my symptoms. It was directly around the time that I took the SJW that these symptoms started and I did not go to the ER for a few days following it.
Now, over the past 2 months, I've gone to the ER 6 times and seen a couple of doctors and 2 neurologists. I've had an MRI without contrast, head CT, a few EKG's, ENG (tests balance organs and vestibular function), chest x-ray, EEG, and numerous blood tests. All of which came back normal. I did not however have an MRA, which I would really like so they can view the state of the blood vessels in my brain.
Over the past few weeks all symptoms of my anxiety have disappeared except for the head pressure thing and ringing ears. I am experiencing anxiety solely due to the fact that I don't have an answer, reason, or treatment from any doctor, and worry from what it could be. I feel if it would go away I could have a complete recovery and go back to life. It WILL NOT GO AWAY. I have to get back to working and going to school soon. The money I had set aside is rapidly disappearing.
I don't know what to do. If in fact these symptoms are caused by anxiety, I feel they will never go away since I keep worrying about them. Even when I don't, they do not go away or subside. I took Xanax for about a week and a half when I was at my worst with the anxiety and it only helped me sleep, didn't affect the symptoms. I tried Zoloft once and it only made things a lot worse. I haven't taken any medication at all for almost a month now and I actually feel better without it.
Do I have reason to keep seeing doctors and pushing for more tests and getting an answer? I've given it out a month of distracting myself and not thinking about it to see if it will go away and it has not. I feel like I need to know why I have these symptoms. When this all started I was not depressed at all, and now I am extremely depressed and don't see any way out of this situation.