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BexieB
11-11-09, 23:56
Hi All

I've been reading through some of the threads where members have posted their ongoing experiences with their meds. I've found them so useful that i've decided to post my own.

My story begins last june when i discontinued taking Cipralex, all went well until 8 weeks ago when my anx began to rise and depression set in. Waited week after week for condition to improve but have decided that meds are now necessary.

Cip did work for me, but was very slow acting with a lot of start up side effects (anx through the roof). I took Serox many years ago and from what i can remember it worked much better. So here i go again...Wasn't an easy decision given all the Serox horror stories, I really had to trust my intuition on this one. Hope it pays off

Day 1

Nothing much to report. Slightly lower anx levels. No dry mouth (one of the Serox side effects i do remember)

Bexie

BexieB
12-11-09, 18:12
hi all

Day 2

Sleep a little disturbed last night. Anx still a little lower. Depression as bad as ever. Nausia this morning. Mouth a little dry. Felt much better in the evening.

Day 3

Good night's sleep. Anx/depression bad in the morning. So far none of the bad side effects I had with Lexapro. Happy with my progress so far.

BexieB
14-11-09, 14:00
Day 4

Woke up, depression very bad this morning, took a diaz and went back to bed. Mornings are VILE, things tend to improve in the evening. I really think this 'diurnal variation' in depression is giving us a big clue as to its cause. I hope some scientist is working on it.

Supposed to be going to birthday party tonight, not sure if i'll make it. Very bad thoughts, can't even talk about them. Still sleeping well, eating is so so. Only on 10mg Serox at the moment, up to 20mg next wed.

Evening isn't going too well, Dep/anx horrible. I feel hellish. God i wish this would stop. Very few rays of hope/light/joy through the day. Feel like a shell, can't relate to life or other people. I really hope i've done the right thing taking these meds. They did work in the past. I think i'll have a cry.

Later evening much better, had to laugh at Jedward on X factor, what a pair. I've been reading PyschoPoet's guide to Cit, some great stuff in there.

Peace to all
Bexie

BexieB
15-11-09, 11:03
Hi All

Day 5

Woke up a 6 in a panic attack, feel awful again this morning. Real groundhog day. Made myself sick before i took my med to try to make sure i didn't throw it up. Watching the telly, just feel so removed from the real world. Nothing makes sense, everything pointless. I don't even have words to describe this feeling. Anx/depression are just relentless. This is sheer hell. I pray i'll feel better soon. Maybe the evening will be better.

God, i think i'm going crazy! What will i become?

Still very bad in evening, took a diaz just to get a break. Slept for 7 hours.

BexieB
16-11-09, 16:38
HI guys

Day 6

Still have that vile, hopeless terror on waking. Some brighter moments as the morning progressed. Arranged to meet up with a friend on thurs (missed her birthday on sat).

Afternoon also had soon bright times. Ate half a pizza for dinner and sandwich for lunch (delighted with that level of food intake) Early evening very tight feeling in chest, took a diaz again but i know i can't keep taking these. Didn't seem to take the edge of my anx, felt awful in the evening.

These brighter moments give me hope that things are improving. My last 10mg tomorrow then up to 20mg, looking forward to the rise (I think).

Sleep very disturbed, constant panic.

Any words of support would be really welcome...I don't know how much more I can take...Vile thoughts, i don't feel human.

Bexie

steve2009
17-11-09, 13:11
I'm on a different AD but I know how you feel.
Take each day as it comes. I now your symptoms well. Make the best
of those evenings. I have had a previous episode of "black dog" and time is also a healer.
Keep it up

BexieB
17-11-09, 23:29
Thanks a million Steve

I'm just in that really acute phase, but you are so right about time being the best healer.

Day 7

Morning and afternoon as bad as ever, but i went to acupuncture and concentrated on by breathing all evening...delighted with results..better than diaz. I'm not a fan a deep breathing, it's panics me. I find slow soft breath best, always in and out through the nose.

Up to full dose 20mg tomorrow...

Good night's sleep

BexieB
18-11-09, 11:26
Hi All

Day 8

Started my 20mg dose this morning. Early morning quite bad. Very tired and nausous, went back to bed in the afternoon. In the early evening felt just awful, how will i get through this? Took a diaz. Went for a short walk. I hate taking these, they bring added anx about addiction. I tried my breathing before taking the diaz, but couldn't raise myself out of the pit of despair.

Very little sleep

BexieB
19-11-09, 09:35
Day 9

Fast losing hope...can't see any way out. Life is dissolving in front of my eyes. Rocking back and forward on the floor, like some mad woman. Last week doc said i was severely depressed...thought i couldn't get any worse...i was wrong. Please let this end. I wish i could just dissolve, be erased as if i'd never been here...This is not really me talking, is it? It's the anx/depression. Thoughts disjointed, rambling..

pembrokeshire lady
19-11-09, 10:19
Hi Bexie ,
I take 30mg of Seroxat a day , starting on 30 from 20 just two days ago. I know from experience that they make you feel a little bit worse before you feel better . I also carry Diazipan with me every where . I feel like you do . Hang on in there and wait for the seroxat to kick in , thats what Im doing. I live in constant fear of my heart missing beats, I have had it caught on monitors and 24hr tapes but they say its harmless. We can fight this . Keep in touch

BexieB
19-11-09, 10:23
Hi Pem

Thanks for the reply, i'm in a very bad place at the moment. Have been using diaz myself, but it doesn't touch my anx at the moment (2mg). Were you on the 20 for long?

jackie xxx
19-11-09, 13:31
I also usually get my worst panic attacks at night when Im sleeping but I discovered a herbal tea, called valerian by Dr Strauss(you can get it at holland and barret) It tastes rotten but works its only abut 1.50 but I wake up with a panic if I have went to sleep without taking it, its 100% natural and can be taken with any other medication:bighug1:

BexieB
19-11-09, 19:55
Thanks Jackie

I take valerian tea myself from time to time...My cats go crazy for it.

Bexie

steve2009
20-11-09, 12:31
Hi Bexie
Remember the time thing. It does get better.
Hoping today is better for you.
Keep on fighting............:)

BexieB
22-11-09, 00:28
Thanks Steve

I know it will get better...but i never tire of hearing it..thank you so much for your reenforcement.

Love
Bexie

BexieB
22-11-09, 08:27
Not even sure what day this is....i'm in a living nightmare, PA's constant...very bleak thoughts....living from diaz to diaz...i wish i could disappear...have never existed

maxine
26-11-09, 16:02
Hi,

After 8 days on Prozac which made me feel awful after the first few days the doc changed my meds to Seroxat... i'm on day two now without any gap in the middle from the other one and boy i feel sick.

He won't give me any valium to deal with it until the seroxat kicks in and i'm hiding in the house purely as i feel so damm panicy/anxious.
Any ideas how long this is going to feel so awful for??

BexieB
28-11-09, 11:45
Hi Max

Sorry i haven't replied, been feeling so bad, couldn't even bring myself to continue the diary. I'm day 17 seroxat now...some very slow progress. Sleep improving (with the help of diaz), still not eating..living on complan. However this morning is my brightest since starting these meds.

Anyway, how are you getting on? These meds are so tough at the start...hang in there.

Love and hugs
Bexie

maxine
28-11-09, 12:18
Hi Bexie,

Fourth pill this morning, eugh.

Feel really sick, tired, anxious and my heart is going ten to a dozen.
I have two Diazapam left... i took two this morning along with the Seroxat.
I'm not eating anything until the evening and even then it's not my usual amounts.
My mood is all over the place, I'm snappy as hell and fighting not to cry although my body thought this was a good time to have my period!! so it may be down to that :huh:

I'm going to ring the docs on Monday and ask him to give me some Diazapam or something else to help with the settling in period... it's worth a try.

The good news is i seem to be relaxing a bit in the evening and sleeping okish although i keep waking up and i'm staying up far later than normal.

I hope this settles down soon.

How are you doing today? :hugs:

Maxine xx

BexieB
28-11-09, 13:03
Hi Max

Sounds very like my own experience...evenings are so much better. It's only this morning that i've felt a little better...really hope things are on the up. i'm taking diaz, but only in the evening/night. i find if i take them in the morning i'm wrecked for the whole day and if i go for a nap, i wake up with the morning horrrors all over again.

It's no fun going on SSRI's...in fact it's pure hell. I found cipralex pretty tough as well. I'm so up and down...i can almost feel momentary surges of serotonin and then depletion, if that makes any sense? i suppose it's the drug trying to do its thing.

Some docs are so cagey about diaz etc. Mine's not, i'm overrun with the stuff...I just have to be very careful when i take it, because i have a lot of depression as well and diaz just makes that worse.

Try and make the most of those evenings...things are going to improve...let us know how you got on with the doc.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

maxine
01-12-09, 17:25
Hi Bexie,

Well I'm on day 6 now and so far no improvement, yesterday was a nightmare i felt so depressed and i'm never normally like that, I burst into tears as i couldn't pack a box properly!!! :ohmy: felt like a right idiot lol

I'm stll hiding in the house as i can't bear people at the minute, thankfully the people that are around me are aware of what's going on so no pressure from them now.

The doctor refused to give me any Diazapam ( which i expected) but instead gave me Amitriptyline 10mg... although i googled and don't really see how that's going to calm me down much to be honest.
I've been told to take one at night before bedtime so maybe it'll have a calming effect in the mornings to, which i'm still feeling sick as a dog during.

Hopefully things will have settled down before xmas as I have my dad up for two weeks over that period and it'll be a pain if i'm still all over the place.

I've also decided against drinking at the moment ( i was to start with just to cope with it ) but it was a vicious circle.

Hope you are starting to feel better.

Maxine :hugs:

EmmaJane
01-12-09, 17:54
I'm on my 4th week now of Cipralex and over the past few days, I have just started to get better.

Just wish my head would calm own and stop finding silly symptoms

BexieB
01-12-09, 23:50
Hi Max

Have been finding things very hard, but think things are getting a little better. However it could be the diaz, which i've been on for two weeks. Starting to eat a little bit more solid food and sleeping is getting better. Evenings are the best, feel almost normal...but still dragging myself through the day.

I know how you feel about just hiding away from people, you just don't feel part of the world anymore.

Thanks emma for your words of encouragement, i never tire of hearing when people start to improve.

Love and hugs to you both

Bexie

maxine
02-12-09, 12:11
HI Bexie and Emma :-)

Ok day 7.. I slept well last night for a change after taking the Amitripyline and actually felt a bit calmer this morning. For a change here's hoping that's the start of the mornings being a little easier.

I'm trying to keep as stress free as poss which is hard being it's coming up to xmas and there are a zillion things to do.

Still not eating too much although my appitite seems to be improving as at least i am eating now.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet and actually try and go out somewhere some point this week.

I'm hoping everything will settle down soon.

:hugs: for you both

Maxine xx

BexieB
05-12-09, 22:29
Hi All

I had great intentions of writing a day by day account of starting seroxat, but things were so bad in week 2 (20 mg) that i couldn't even bring myself to write down my feelings. However 3 and a half weeks in now and things are leveling out. Appetite is back and sleeping is quite good. A long way to go yet...but feel i'm over the worst. Hope things are ok with all of you:hugs:

Love and Hugs
Bexie

maxine
06-12-09, 20:00
Hi Bexie,

Don't worry about not writing things down every day, just keep us posted as and when you can :hugs:

I'm glad you are feeling better.

I'm on day 12 now.. so far not too bad.. sleeping better, eating much better.. anxiety argh stll through the roof but hopefully it will start settling down soon.

Still on 20mg and apparently it takes 3-4 weeks before any real improvement so that's only another week to go.

I'm keeping busy at home .. just as well it's nearly xmas or i'd be bored stiff!

Maxine xx

BexieB
08-12-09, 17:58
Hi All

Just as i thought things were improving, sleep and appetite have gone again, PA's abound, anx up to 90. 4 and a half weeks in, when will this med start to work?

Hope things are a little better for you max...glad things are picking up for you emma

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
13-12-09, 13:06
Hi to all

Still feeling awful....having to push food down. Going back to doc on wed. I usually know myself the direction i want to go with meds eg. change or up dose...but i'm totally lost at the moment. However, my sleep is a little better and i usually only take 1 diaz a day now...so maybe there is some progress. I felt quite well on friday and thought i was at a turning point, but the last two days have been as bad as ever.

Anyway, hope you are all doing better.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
17-12-09, 15:24
Hi All

Went back to doc yesterday, he encouraged me to keep going with the meds for the next 3 weeks. Yesterday and today have had more bright spots, eating and sleeping much better...hope it continues...but i know recovery is not a linear process.

Hope you are all having good times too

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
24-12-09, 20:10
Hi All

Great progress over the last week, sleeping and eating well. Very few anx spots, things seem to be really leveling out. Thank God. Still on diaz as well. Doc doesn't believe in the 'take as needed' approach, he thinks i should take a consistant dose every day so that anx doesn't rise at all. But will look at tapering down diaz soon. I'm not too worried about the diaz, my doc works with some very mentally sick people and says addiction is very unlikely on daily dose up to 8mg.

Anyway hope things are improving for you all....happy xmas

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
05-01-10, 16:20
Hi All

After a great few weeks things have taken a bad turn. Didn't sleep well on sat and anx and depression have been through the roof since. Really need to remind myself that i was making great progress up to then. Maybe a change of dosage would help...? Going back to doc tomorrow, so we'll see.

Love and Hugs to all
Bexie

BexieB
06-01-10, 10:26
Hi guys

Oh God...woke up twice last night in full panic attack. How can someone 7 weeks into an SSRI and on diaz still be panicing? Will this ever end? HELP!!!!

BExie

BexieB
07-01-10, 10:51
Hi Guys

Doc cancelled his clinic due to weather...could be two weeks before i see him. Still feeling awful..running out of hope. Woke up at 3am, but not with panic attack, so that's something. Having very black thoughts again. I had such hopes for these meds..just to get my recovery started, but feel totally lost. Sleep is very bad, not eating much. I want me back...where have i gone?

Bexie

joy
07-01-10, 12:40
Sounds like you are like a lot of us when seroxat doesnt work the second time around,it didnt for me and nothing else has` either Seeing shrink tomorrow so who knows what now

sorry to be such a pessimist

love joy

BexieB
07-01-10, 13:17
Hi Joy

So sorry to hear you haven't found anything to help....what have you been on?

Bexie

joy
07-01-10, 15:59
you name it i;ve tried itsome with limited success but it never lasted, think I;ve tried every thing now even the shrink has ran out if ideas

joy

BexieB
07-01-10, 16:17
Hi Joy

Was serox the only one that worked? Why did you come off it? If i find something that works i'll be thinking very carefully about ever coming off it, even though my occupation prohibits the use of any AD. Life is more important than work. Let me know how you get on with the shrink...i'm seeing mine next wed, if the weather improves. Does she know yet that you stopped taking the agomelatine? Sorry for all the questions...you seem like an old hand at this anx business

Love and Hugs
Bexie

ray1973
07-01-10, 18:10
Hi Bexie

I took 20mg and i did nothing for me, then went up to 30mg and felt much better and the anxiety/panic has almost gone.

Try upping your dosage to 30mg and give it a week or two.

joy
07-01-10, 20:52
I came off seoxat after 8 years cos i thouh=ght i could Big mistake i just thought f i reapsed i could just take it again,

no the shrink doest know i've stopped the agomelatine, she is a private shrink and hard to contact if you have problems, thinking of going back into the the nhs system where at least there is more support

joy

maybeoneday
08-01-10, 00:56
hi hope you dont mind me joiningi in, i have been on seroxat for 10 years 20mg, they worked fine i was my old self again up until 4 yrs ago when i became ill with thyroid problems now im basically housebound
, wondered if upping my dose would help but i am so scared too because when i first went on seroxat i had some very frightening side effects, if i up my dose will i get side effects.

KK77
08-01-10, 01:32
I couldn't tolerate anything above 20mg. But try it - you can always go back down.

BexieB
08-01-10, 09:48
Hi All

Thanks for all the replies, i think upping the dose will probably be the next move. I was on the highest dose of my last AD (Cipralex), got poor results on the lower doses. I didn't notice any extra side effects when i upped the dose each time. God, i wish i'd never stopped taking that med. My sleep is very bad and i shake and tremor for hours. On low diaz dose, don't think it makes much of a difference. I really can't take this much longer, it's been gong on for months. I'm at risk of losing my job...been out for 2 months and counting. Sorry to moan, just having a really tough time. Can't see any end, vomiting every morning, shaking, trembling, no appetite.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

KK77
08-01-10, 13:26
It seems to have helped you so little I wonder whether you should go back to escit or think of another AD. Reading through your posts, it looks like you've had a terrible time Bexie.

I was on paroxetine for a long time. I came off it and was drug-free for a few years. Second time round it didn't work - just lots of side effects. Now I'm on a low dose of sertraline with mixed results really.

Sometimes the receptors in the brain can become desensitised to the drug so going on a new one can help, because they all do the same job (ie, increase serotonin with SSRIs) but they do it in slightly different ways, hitting certain receptors more or less than others.

I would speak to your GP because you've suffered for long enough now...

Take care

BexieB
09-01-10, 11:26
Hi

Thanks for your advise Mel, It makes sense that maybe you could become desensitised to a drug. I considered that when going on serox but it had been 14 years since i was on it, so i thought it was worth a go. I've upped my diaz dosage, gone beyond caring about addiction or anything like that. Going back to doc next wed (weather permitting). These really have been the worst few months of my life. Having said that, i'm actualy feeling a little better this morning, didn't vomit...first time in a while. How are you getting on at the moment Mel? What meds are you on?

Love and Hugs
Bexie

KK77
09-01-10, 23:04
I take 25mg sertraline and pregabalin (for pain). The sertraline has helped a bit but not enough really. It's also a bugger to come off!

It's a tough choice with meds and it is a bit of trial and error I know. I hope that you're feeling a bit better anyway and that it goes well with your GP.

Take care

BexieB
12-01-10, 13:22
Hi Mel

Thanks for your reply. Things have being improving for me again over the last few days. Been sleeping and eating better. Mood not perfect, but much better than last week. Back to doc tomorrow, I've a lot to report since the last time i saw him. Hoping things don't slide again. It really is trial and error with these drugs, but think i'll stick with the serox for the time being. I'm always amused by the fact that i tell the doc what med, dose i want...i mean whose the doctor here?

Hope you're well, love and hugs
Bexie

BexieB
14-01-10, 12:07
Hi Guys

Things have continued to be good for me. Serox now upped to 30mg, hope things go ok on the upward titration...

Love and Hugs
Bexie

KK77
14-01-10, 18:08
Things have continued to be good for me. Serox now upped to 30mg, hope things go ok on the upward titration...

Really good news! Hope things are finally beginning to look up for you.......
Maybe you needed the higher dose.

BexieB
15-01-10, 16:07
Hi All

Took my first 30mg this morning, things ok so far. We'll see how it goes....

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
17-01-10, 12:54
Hi All

Sleeping well, eating well, feeling good....hope to go back to work soon...i'm happy to go back now but doc advised against it until the new dose settles. It's been a rough few months, really hope this is the start of real recovery.

Hope things are going well for everyone else

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
22-01-10, 22:35
Hi All

I'm afraid things have taken a bit of a dip for me today. My other half has headed off to Australia for 2 months. I thought i was going to be alright with it, but a few hours after he left i'm in tears, filled with the old feelings of hopelessness and despair. He has been my rock all this and i love him so much, really didn't think it would hit me so hard. Anyway hope this is just one of those 'blips', i have come through them before.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

joy
23-01-10, 10:09
anyone would feel bad so dont blame the seroxat!!!!! Its normal to feel as you do

Joy

BexieB
23-01-10, 10:11
HI

Had a bad night's sleep, feel so lonely without my other half, so scared. I was doing so well, feel i've regressed badly...due back in work next week. Any advise on 'blips' would really be welcome, i've gone through them before but never on my own. I think going back to work would be a good idea, i probably need to be around people.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
24-01-10, 11:06
Thanks Joy

I didn't even notice your reply, i'm all over the place. I slept a good bit better last night, but still very shakey this morning. It kind of scares me to think i'm dependent on another person like that, but i suppose that is what relationships are for. Due back in work monday week...it's got to be better than sitting around here on my own. Going to pop in on a friend this morning, will be good to get out of the house.

This really is one b***h of a disorder. Maybe one day there will be better treatments.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

BexieB
24-01-10, 11:28
Hi Joy

Just wondering how you're doing at the moment? How did you get on at your last visit to the shrink?

Love
Bexie

BexieB
25-01-10, 09:45
Oh God...really bad night's sleep, took 5mg diaz at 5am and it made no difference. Anx is through the roof, feel like vomiting. I feel all hope is gone, 3 months now on serox and this is now i'm feeling. I'm so scared for the future, how can i function as a normal human being like this. I wouldn't be able to work....i feel so useless. I understand why people feel the world would be better off without them. I just don't know who i am anymore. It's not fair on those around me, my partner deserves better than this. I'm in hell...i pray for help.

Bexie

joy
25-01-10, 12:40
Oh dear you do sound bad. However i still say its the fact your partner going thats causing it and Seroxat cant keep up. When I saw the shrink last week he explained that benzos dont work for everyone which is why I have no success with lorazapam and possibly you with Diaz. the next step is an anti psycotic which is what i've been put back on however thats no miracle either. At the moment not on any anti depressants as shrink wants me to have a washout period before trying another if i do try another, waiting to hear about talking therapy cos fed up with this drug merry go round.

Hoping you are feeling a bit better now. Do you have a shrink or councillor or just a GP to talk to?

Love Joy

BexieB
25-01-10, 13:45
Hi Joy

Thanks for your reply, mood has lifted a little now. Just been talking to partner on the phone. I don't lie to him about how i feel, but he has faith in me to come through this. It's great when someone sees a strenght in you that you don't see in yourself. You really sound like you've been through the mill with these meds, you poor love. They work so well for so many people, this serox thing is making me feel like a freak....why don't they work...but we're not alone. I will keep up the serox as there have been some up times on it.

How is your mood at the moment Joy, do you eat and sleep ok?

Love and Hugs
Bexie

joy
25-01-10, 14:48
glad you are feeeling better and have had a chat with your partner.
i couldnt eat or sleeplast week hence the emergency apt with shrink. eating has improved and sleeping ok altho need a pill.

love joy

BexieB
25-01-10, 16:00
Hi Joy

glad eating and sleeping is stabilising a bit for you at the moment. how do you feel about the lack of success on the meds, esspecially when they help so many people. Do you manage to keep up hope and push forward. I only ask because i put so much hope in the meds and really struggle when i feel they're not working....they are just so hard to go onto, it's really awful when they don't work. Sorry i think i'm rambling a bit...just so tired. Hope the talk therapy works out for you, i find it a bit hit and miss...God i'm full of the joys.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

joy
25-01-10, 16:08
i too had/have faith in meds but over the last 4 years I've been on so many, None has worked since I gave up Seroxat not even seroxat so my options are running pretty thin. Hope is hard to hold on to.Oh just to take a pill and let it work and put this nightmare to bed


LOve Joy

BexieB
25-01-10, 16:49
have you tried exercise? i know it sounds a bit lame but i found it really helped when i was having blips on my last med. I know it's hard to motivate yourself, but a brisk walk for half hour can really lift the mood. It can feel a bit panciky while doing the exercise, but u feel good after. I've also learned a few basic yoga moves....i'm great at giving the advise, not so good at taking it...the couch is just too inviting. Just wondering can you take the anti pyschotics with the AD's?

Thanks for the chat today
Love and Hugs
Bexie

joy
25-01-10, 19:49
Yes you can take anti/ps with a/ds in fact i have in the past, some worked but didnt last. Exercise????? I walk my dog for at least an hour a day but otherwise my couch is also inviting

Hope you have a better night

Love Joy

BexieB
26-01-10, 09:38
Hi all

Slept a little better last night, don't feel as hopeless as i did yesterday morning. Yesterday evening i felt not too bad either. Mornings are definitely the worst. Feel like i want to vomit, but i've just taken my tablet and am making the effort to keep it down. Sometimes i will make myself sick, it not a food or weight issue, it just makes me feel better...

Bexie

BexieB
27-01-10, 10:09
Anx was quite low yesterday evening...Sleep still very broken, but i think it's improving. Anx this morning is moderate to severe, an improvement as it has been fairly severe in the mornings over the last week. Baby steps...but a little improvement.

Bexie

joy
27-01-10, 14:37
Jolly Good

Love Joy

BexieB
28-01-10, 10:08
Hi All

Anx low yesterday evening and i slept better than i have in the last week. This morning anx is still in the severe to moderate range, but more moderate than severe. Still baby steps....a little more improvement.

Love and Hugs
Bexie

Panic Man
12-02-10, 18:38
Hi Bexie, I think you and I are in the same boat, back on the "stuff" now for 3 months. I tapered off 60mg after being on for 4 years. I feel a bit like you, mornings awful, afternoons weird and then relatively normal in the evening. I have been off work for three months now and have a responsible job. I just pray for the day that I "feel" well enough to get back in there, although you can't just go in singing and dancing saying hey I am a happy and stable person again! For me I will have to push myself back in still anxious, but I soppose it will be like that anxious feeling of starting a new job again, even though I have been there for 15 years. My legs race in the morning, its not pleasant and causes most of my anxiety at the moment. "The clouds parted about 4pm today". I went to 60mg but the doc pulled me back to 40mg again and I have been on that now for about five weeks. It's really tough, we WILL get there though!

BexieB
12-02-10, 20:45
Hi Panicman

We really are very similar. I'm 3 months on seroxat, 40mg now...improvement has been very slow, but there has been some, thank god. I've been in my job 16 years this April, went back last week after being out for 3 months. You're right about having to push yourself into it. I find that as long as i'm functioning physically (eating and sleeping) that working actually helps with recovery.

You're right Panicman....we WILL get there

TC Bexie

Panic Man
14-02-10, 16:11
Hi Bexie, I am glad to hear you are back at work, I am not yet, I am sleeping long enough but it is interrupted, I also am a real worrier and feel like a caged animal at home not being able to do anything most days, I try and rest and my mind races with "what if's, but's and maybes" I am thinking negative stuff all the time. All the stuff that I was good at before, work diy etc feels scary and overwhelming at the moment. I want to/have to go back to work but I am really anxious about it. How long after you were on 40mg did you go back to work? And were you still feeling nervous/anxious about it like I am?

KK77
14-02-10, 16:21
Hello Bexie

You've done extremely well to go back to work after the terrible time you've had these past few months.

I know how it feels with these meds: you feel as though you've made some progress then suddenly it's back to square one again. I feel more stable now since I increased my med but it does feel like I'm slipping back again some days. Unfortunately these meds are never a total cure.

Let me know how you're getting on and I hope you're sleeping better too.

BexieB
15-02-10, 22:44
Hi All

I'm so glad to report that since raising my dose to 40mg (last wed) i've come on in leaps and bounds, eating and sleeping well and beginning to look forward to the future :yesyes:. When i went back to work i was still on 30mg and feeling pretty ropey, but i reckoned i wasn't going to feel any worse in work. I must admit the first few days were a little scary, but once i pushed through i got back into the routine very quickly. I softened the blow of going back in by popping into work the week before just to say hello to everyone..i think that helped a lot as i wasn't going in cold on the monday.

Mel, i'm glad you're stabilising a bit and thanks so much for asking after me, you've been a great support with great advice. Hope your progress continues...i've found improvements tend to be slow and subtle, but they are there.

Wishing you all health and happiness
Bexie