Resignation

[Macka]

I am 31 and have recently been off from work for 3 weeks with depression. I returned yesterday to find that my director only greeted me once I spoke to her and said we would catch up either yesterday or today. She didn't even say 'good to have me back’ and the other directors didn't acknowledge me. I was left at my desk to get on with it (trawl through 100+ emails) and one of the managers came over to me and asked for an update meeting for today and wanting me to supervise a stand for the end of the week! I ended the day feeling so overwhelmed that I couldn't face going into work today and as a consequence sent an email giving my resgination. The director replied promptly and accepted my resignation.

I have felt depressed since the job started in mid-Sept (this yr) and I have been worried about interacting with colleagues, scared of asking questions/asking for help, thinking I'm not capable of doing the job and just feeling constantly anxious. I do feel like a weight has dropped from my shoulders since giving my resignation, but I have to now leave my shared house and move back with parents'. I feel like such a failure and all I want to do is just curl up in a ball and hide away. I keep crying as well but luckily my family are emotionally supportive.

I just don't know what to do in financial or emotional terms or when I should start looking for a job again. I have suffered from depression on/off since 2002 and had my last bout 2 years ago. I attended group therapy for over a year in 2007 but didn't find this overly helpful as I couldn't fully open up to the group.

Depression/anxiety has taken up so much of my life and I'm just exhausted.

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Makka

You are NOT a failure you just havent found your calling yet
the only time you have truly failed is when you give up trying and im sure you wont you just need time to gain strength and go again

Good luck

[Macka]

Hi Panic Over,

Thank you so much for your kind words and for saying I'm not a failure. Like you suggested, I'll take time to rest and then look forward to the future.

Macka.

[PanicOver!!]

Thats the way buddy
dust yourself of and go again

[Bluebelle]

Hi Macka
You are not a failure ! You are SOOOO not a failure- I think it takes unbelievable to do what you done. You did really well and you removed yourself from a negative situation with grace and dignity. I think you should be proud of yourself for handling such a horrible situation so well ! I think it is terrible they didn't even say welcome back- that almost made me cry.
You are not a failure- I think you're a winner !
Love -Bluebelle

[Alicat]

No, you're not a failure. Moving on is a good thing to do as your job was making you unhappy. There'll be something out there that is just right for you and it's just a matter of time :hugs:

[guitarpants]

Nope, not a failure. You had the balls to do what most people don't, get out of a bad situation and make a change. I say, good job!

[june]

:hugs:If you have not heard it already you will hear it many times in the future:
If you had a broken leg (or other VISIBLE ailment) your colleagues would have gone out of their way to help and ask how you feel:yesyes:
BUT many many people do not know how to respond to anxiety / panic / depression - in a way it is you who should feel sorry for them they are so ignorant of life so wrapped up in themselvesto the exclusion of others:blush:
Depression/anxiety has taken up so much of my life and I'm just exhausted.
This is where you sit back and enjoy life take time to calm down and then start to look for work that YOU want to do.
Best wishes
June
:hugs:

[sue681]

I know how u feel as i'm exhausted with it too.
Go home , have a rest and let yr family care for you for a bit..then start making decisions. Theres no rush !
wish i had afamily to go too ! :-(

sue xx

[erin31]

No Macka you are not a failure. What you did, removing yourself from working with such insensitive and uncaring people was the right thing to do.
You need to be round people who can help you not ignorant people who don't want to even try and understand what you are going through.
Thankfully you have a understanding family. Move back home and just enjoy being with them for the next few weeks. :hugs:

[Adam Thompson]

The thing you dont want to do is panic/worry about having no job. you need to relax, work out what you want then go for it...

i left my job of 10 years last year due to anxiety/depression etc and i went straight onto worrying about having no job, what a failure i was, what must my family be thinking etc...i spent the whole 6 months searching for a new job depressed and ended up taking a new job that i dont really want to do. now i find myself feeling stuck again wondering what to do lol

[Macka]

Thanks Adam. I have been feeling panic/worry about having no job so it was refreshing to read your message. My mum and partner have told me not to look for temp jobs for at least another few days, however I feel guilty and keep getting upset about my situation.

[june]

:hugs:Try some voluntary work for a while - there is not so much pressure and it will help your self esteem - good luck.:yesyes:
I hate saying it (you will have heard it so often:blush:)-BUT try not to worry.
Best wishes
june

[pinkcherryhearts]

hi macka
im in exactly the same position as you, i just left a great job because I couldent cope, i was so depressed and anxious and felt such a failure. My advice to you is to take some time out from work at least until the new year, financially you should apply for incapacity benefit, i know its sounds scary but it may only be a temporary financial solution until you are ready to go back to work. Remember this is not your fault you are very brave to have taken the job in the first place and there will be lots of opportunities in the future. feel free to p m me anytime because i know how difficult it is. you can get through this :)

[Malinga]

:hugs:If you have not heard it already you will hear it many times in the future:
If you had a broken leg (or other VISIBLE ailment) your colleagues would have gone out of their way to help and ask how you feel:yesyes:
BUT many many people do not know how to respond to anxiety / panic / depression - in a way it is you who should feel sorry for them they are so ignorant of life so wrapped up in themselvesto the exclusion of others:blush:
Depression/anxiety has taken up so much of my life and I'm just exhausted.
This is where you sit back and enjoy life take time to calm down and then start to look for work that YOU want to do.
Best wishes
June
:hugs:




I'm sorry to bust in on this thread Macka and I completely agree with the others in what they've been telling you.

I have joined this site as someone who doesn't suffer from depression but my partner does, and I'm trying to get an understanding of it from you all.
June you are quite right we do not know how to respond! Its not because we are a wrapped up in ourselves necessarily, and its not ignorance its lack of knowledge and understanding. I am trying to find some sort of advice, literature or guidance on how I'm supposed to be with my partner. I don't know if I'm smothering her, or what to say to help when she's having a bad day. Is walking around her on egg shells all the time doing more damage than good? I don't know.

My partner was diagnosed a month ago. I will admit 2 months ago I was completely ignorant to depression, and would go as far as brushing it off, and thinking people should just go back to work and get on with their lives. After seeing someone I love so much suffer from it, I'm a complete convert. I understand that it is an illness now and not a state of mind. There's lots of information out there for sufferers, but none for loved ones. My partner has never been the best at communicating and in these early stages she can't even tell me what she wants because she doesn't know herself.

[Macka]

Hi,

I just wanted to thank all who replied to my initial message on 12th November. I am feeling so much better than I was and I'm starting a temp job on Thursday. I think I'll be able to cope with it as it shouldn't cause me too much stress and worry.

My parents and partner have been fantastic in supporting me and my Dr has referred me for CBT. I'm also listening to a Paul Mckenna CD named 'Instant Confidence'. I have the odd day where I feel low but I know I'll be back on track soon.

Thanks again.

Macka

[Sweetpea6]

I'm so glad you have supportive parents and a home to go back to. For the moment, just relax. This will aid you in the long-run beacuse you'll be better able to pick up and carry on when you've rested. Good luck :yesyes: