Explaining to your Kids!

[jojo81182]

Hiya, I have a very active 6 year old daughter who just does not take no for an answer and seems to play up when Im not feeling great... she's a very grown up 6 and very clever with it but when I try and explain that Im not feeling great and ask if she could be a good girl for mummy she goes the opposite way, its driving me mad - she doesnt stop talking and asking me questions from the moment she gets in from school and when im not having a good day its unbearable. Anyone have any advice for me? xx

[margaret jones]

Well JoJo

6yr old are very inquisitive and learning new things all the time .It is very wearing for you i know but it shows what a clever girl she is .I know it is hard but it will get easier, can she have a friend over maybe to play and allow you a little time out ?
On the upside my niece was just like that and she is a headmistriss of a Primary school now . I think it is a aign that she is a very clever girl to be proud of . Best wishes Margaretxx

[mandyclare]

Hi Jojo... yes unfortunately what she is doing is being a very normal, very bright little girl... she comes home full of excitement about her day and just wants you to hear all about it. Having three kids myself, two teens and a 2 year old i know when you are feeling bad its really difficult but you have to focus on the positives and try to be strong and allow her to express herself. I know its hard but try to at least give her say half an hour when she gets home to chat away with you and then hopefully she will feel able to go off and play or watch some kids tv to give you a bit of a break.

The other option is to get her involved in an after school club a couple of times a week if you feel you really can't cope.
All the best... Mand x

[jojo81182]

Thanks Girls, yeah, she is very bright, intelligent and inquisitive to boot which is great and I am very proud of her indeed but she's a child that just will not entertain herself, i guess thats because she's an only child and has more or less had my undivided attention for the last 6yrs - My partner is on evening shifts at the mo, I think this is why it is getting to me - She goes to After School Club Mon-Weds but that still doesn't wear her out! lol - such a madam. Anyway, Im new to all this Anxiety stuff, how did you two explain to your children? xx

[mandyclare]

hiya again Jojo.

Ive really had anxiety for about 10 years on and off and it came very slowly so i think the kids just got used to it. Ive really tried very hard to not let it affect things for them.. luckily for me i dont suffer depression so am usually upbeat.... If i had a particularly bad day I would just say I wasnt feeling too well and try to make it up to them when i was feeling better. It is really hard to explain something with no obvious outward signs.

All any of us can do is our best.

I get what you mean about the only child bit as my youngest is 2 and doesnt have any similar age siblings he is in many ways like an only child. I think when he is a little older I will make a concerted effort to get him to meet other children to play with.. that way hopefully even though they will sometimes play at my house it will hopefully mean the favour will be returned which will give me a little break.

We also have to try very hard to keep as calm as possible in front of the kids as anxiety can easily affect our kids and then can also end up suffering the same.

When you are having a bad day just tell her something like.. sorry mummy isnt playing too much today.. im not feeling so good but when im feeling better we can go to the park/play a game or whatever. Try to balance any negative comments regarding feeling unwell with a positive one.

Feel free to pm me any time to chat about it.

Mand x

[margaret jones]

Hi jojo

I was probably like you worn out i had 2 girls with 2yrs between them so they did play together,But also fight i was working in a evening so i left childcare to hubby 3 nights a week i think that kept me going ,and gave me the energy to cope trying to tire them out in good weather and giving them jobs to do when not able to get out may help .But Jojo they are very tiresome but how we love them xxxxxx

[Panic33]

Are there any activities you both like doing? I found when my son played up and I was in the mood, I took him for a kick about - he enjoyed and it also help me take my mind of things for a short time.

[jojo81182]

thanks for the understanding and support guys, its so hard because you dont want the children to suffer at times like these, hopefully in i and we will be better asap!!! xx

[maddie]

I agree with mandyclare about the need to keep calm in front of the kids. Maybe your daughter feels insecure when you say you are not feeling well.

You also say she's used to having your attention. Could you establish a quiet time when she comes home from school where you sit and cuddle, maybe read a book toghether and listen about her day? If that was her normal routine and you could follow it even on low days, she'd probably feel safer and behave better.