jojo81182
14-11-09, 11:50
This is seriously getting ridiculous... I cannot get these thoughts out of my head, i am absolutely convinced that all these anxiety symptoms are being caused by some terminal illness.... headaches mean a brain tumour, mark under my toenail definitely has to be cancer as a friend of mines partner is currently undergoing tests for the exact same thing, metallic taste in my mouth surely means that my insides are rotting away and thats what the funny taste is, oh and every little twinge in the chest area is a heart attack.
I believe This all stems from June this year when I lost a baby girl 21weeks into my pregnancy - after delivering her I lost alot of blood and also had to go into theatre to have the placenta removed for which I had to go under general anaesthetic - oh my god, im fat, fat people die when they have a general anaesthetic - this is all i could think about, i seriously thought that when they wheeled me into theatre that it'd be the last time i'd see my other half and would never see my 5yr old daughter again. That feeling of going under has stayed with my ever since. There was alot of commotion when they were prepping me in theatre - I heard the anaesthitist say 'we have to ressuccitate her' WHAT? im not dead am i?!?!?! No, I wasn't, i was told that he actually meant STABALISE her... I hate that man.
So after suffering the odd panic attack here and there I am now, I think, I fully fledged hypochondriac and its doing my head in... its ridiculous, its like any logic I ever had has completely gone out of the window. Since losing he baby we have had great financial difficulty - had to pay a grand to the balliffs for council tax arrears and then at the beginning of October had to fight to not get evicted from our house. We were informed of the Post Mortem results of our baby girl - nothing wrong with her, me or placenta - just one of those thing apparently. So now... NO STRESS but this bloody anxiety has kicked in and feel like im going off my rocker.
Started prozac & pyschotherapy on Tuesday so am hopefull im going to stop it before it gets any worse... ANY WORSE? god, i couldnt imagine that it COULD get any worse but from reading peoples stories on here, I think I have it mildly.
Anyway, i actually didint mean to write all that but I have and now I feel I have gotten it off my chest! Lol... If you have got this far, thanks for listening!
xx
I believe This all stems from June this year when I lost a baby girl 21weeks into my pregnancy - after delivering her I lost alot of blood and also had to go into theatre to have the placenta removed for which I had to go under general anaesthetic - oh my god, im fat, fat people die when they have a general anaesthetic - this is all i could think about, i seriously thought that when they wheeled me into theatre that it'd be the last time i'd see my other half and would never see my 5yr old daughter again. That feeling of going under has stayed with my ever since. There was alot of commotion when they were prepping me in theatre - I heard the anaesthitist say 'we have to ressuccitate her' WHAT? im not dead am i?!?!?! No, I wasn't, i was told that he actually meant STABALISE her... I hate that man.
So after suffering the odd panic attack here and there I am now, I think, I fully fledged hypochondriac and its doing my head in... its ridiculous, its like any logic I ever had has completely gone out of the window. Since losing he baby we have had great financial difficulty - had to pay a grand to the balliffs for council tax arrears and then at the beginning of October had to fight to not get evicted from our house. We were informed of the Post Mortem results of our baby girl - nothing wrong with her, me or placenta - just one of those thing apparently. So now... NO STRESS but this bloody anxiety has kicked in and feel like im going off my rocker.
Started prozac & pyschotherapy on Tuesday so am hopefull im going to stop it before it gets any worse... ANY WORSE? god, i couldnt imagine that it COULD get any worse but from reading peoples stories on here, I think I have it mildly.
Anyway, i actually didint mean to write all that but I have and now I feel I have gotten it off my chest! Lol... If you have got this far, thanks for listening!
xx