anxious thoughts - please tell me i am not alone

[everglades]

i am new here but not new to anxiety
althought it is gaining a greater hold on me.

I just wondered if other people find their heads creating countless anxiety causing scenarios. For example i get stuck in solitaire or sudoku, and the panic rises - as i feel trapped
or i get images of not being able to get to my children or parents if they need me, cos i cant face trains or lifts, or big buildings - these can be pictures of now or years into the future - like my whole life is one big trap.

It is consuming me at the moment - making me afraid to even be alive at times and i just wondered if other people go through this too, as i feel so alone in it atm

[Maj]

Hi,

I think because we are so used to being anxious we are almost constantly winding ourselves up and that's why we think of the worst possible scenarios! We're all guilty of that. When we are calmer we're not interested in thinking about horrible thoughts. You have accepted that you are more anxious at the moment, why don't you have a talk with your doctor if you feel it's getting out of hand? There are so many treatments out there nowadays that you shouldn't have to feel overwhelmed by anxiety. Have you read any of Claire Weekes' books? She explains anxiety symptoms so well and just reading it at times instantly calms you down. Also, you'll find many people on here are feeling exactly the same as you so you're not alone.
Take care
Myra x

[everglades]

head raging
feel sick
sweating
bad bad night

i dont like this
depression was - is easy for me - had it for years and years and years
when nothing matters
now everything matters
everything
too much
over and over
and i know others feel same and ys far far worse
but i am scared
scared even of being awake

[mumsie]

Hi everglades
I'm sorry that you are having such an awful time atm. I too get obsessive thoughts sometimes that get stuck in my brain for a while then disappear to be replaced by different ones! You don't say if you have seen your doctor or if you are having any type of treatment. Also how old are you?. Menopause and peri menopause can cause big problems with anxiety and depression due to hormone fluctuations. I sometimes wake at 4 in the morning and it is the loneliest, saddest time and place on earth, but then it gets light and the world starts turning again and I feel a little bit better.

[everglades]

i am 45
and yes i do see doc as i have other mh problems particularly depression

i am not on meds, came off almost 2 yrs ago and have refused ever since - i do take low doses of propranolol and diazepam when things get intolerable

i have had issues since a teenager so i know its not all menopause related but yes, i have no doubt my age does not help the situation.

i managed to get a bit of sleep and was desp hoping that today would be calmer but it is not - my head is spinning and i feel dreadful.

i know one thing that is making it worse - daughter at uni is not well - keeps calling me over and over but refuses to act on any advice i give her - and i can also see that her mh is deteriorating which is killing me
so i guess i am carrying my anxiety and hers

i am trying so very hard to stop and put things into proportion and just stay in the 'now' but i am failing miserably and just cant stop crying. Its like someone has cut the break cable and my mind has just gone into free fall - i can barely remember one minute to the next what i am meant to be doing.

i will see doc on monday if it doesnt stop - i think i am going totally insane

[tector]

I know exactly how you feel as well. With my anxiety i picture my bleak future and everything negative that it holds. You are not alone and knowing that you are not alone on here is a good starting block. You just have to ignore the thoughts and scenarios and try to keep busy. It is very hard to do I know as i find it very hard as well but what choice do we have apart from letting the anxiety take over. Try to keep strong and persevere. We are all here to help in whatever way we can...

[everglades]

ty for answering

was up for bout 4 hours last night
that is v bad for me - v unusual and means things are not good at all

am trying to distract
u are right - it seems the only way

lots of tv piano and maybe ironing later - :( how desp am i

[mumsie]

I know how you feel about the worrying about your childrn thingy. My daughter lives in France and she had a baby about 18 months ago and suffered bad post natal depression. She was in a really bad way at times and I was so scared she might hurt herself or the baby but I could only get there occasionally and she was always worse when I came home again. I felt really helpless and scared for her. Also my youngest daughter, now 25, has a nut allergy for which she carries an epipen and I have spent the last 10 years worrying everytime she goes out with friends about the possibility of her having a reaction to food. People say "let it go, it's out of your hands", which may well be right but it's impossible not to worry about your children. Hang on in there. tomorrow is another day and it has as much chance of being better as of being worse. Take care x

[mumsie]

Forgot to mention that I don't take any meds either. Hope you are feeling better. x

[everglades]

ty
ty so so much

[moggy]

Hi .. your ok, i think about bad things all the time, im writing letters for my demise , how im gonna tell people if im diagnosed with a fatal illness , its all in our minds , you will be ok ,, anxiety and stress is a bad thing

get yourself checked out by a doc to ease your mind ,

thanks

moggy