View Full Version : why
Hi all,Not really sure why Im posting, I think Im just so tired I need some positive vibes again.My sleep pattern is 2 or 3 hours a night.I feel Im walking around half the time not sure of what Im doing and then something happens the next day i question, not sure if it has happened or not. i am extremely emotional and take things very personally. I know this is because Im so tired.
I have had a busy few weeks but I think I should be able to cope. i have just had a good birthday as some of you will know.I have also got a busy weekend coming up in two weeks and Im scared Im not going to be able to manage it.Although I know I will, because I can only go forwards.
i have been advised to go back and get more help from the counsellor but Im trying to go it alone.
I am excellent at hiding how I really feel, but not sure this helps in lng run
Just send me vibes you lot please,I am just so tired and trying put on a brave face
love from Alexisxxxx
Alexis,
Remember there is only one way and that is onwards and upwards mate.
You will manage the weekend that is coming up, and afterwards you will feel so damn proud of yourself for doing it, and so you should.
I think a lot of us cover up the way we really feel, maybe we just don't like to admit it, or we feel ashamed I dont really know, I do know it is very easy to hide it though, and we shouldnt, If we broke our leg we couldnt hide it, or if we were diabetic would we be ashamed, no I dont think so.
It is all part of this crap we suffer, I think because it is classed as mental health it makes it sound like we arent normal, well we are, we just have to fight that bit harder to get through each day, and I really think that it makes us stronger people by doing so.
Alexis you are going to get there, we all are, we just have to remain positive and focused, the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer.
A huge hug for you mate, and you know I am here for you 100%, who would I laugh with at stupid AM in the morning if I didnt have you eh?
Lots of love
Tracey XX
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Our mate Trac is absolutely right Piggy!!!
I wish it wasn't called mental health problems too as I've never minded telling anyone if I have had a physical problem even when it may be embaressing!!!!
Keep going mate - some days will be good and some a load of pants, we're here on either sort.
Big hug.
Love Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi hun
Sorry you arent feeling too good. You know you can cope you have done so many things over the past few months that you wouldnt have dreamt of attempting a year ago and those were your words, so keep reminding yourself of that.
Here if you want to talk, take care.
Love Sal xx
Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.
"Life is a distance and to travel that distance you were given the strength and guidance to do so".
**I think I should be able to cope**
Alexis - ditch the 'shoulds' and 'oughts'.
We know that you are very tough on yourself and to move forward permenently it would be very helpful to learn to shift a lot of the self critical part and let the rest shine through.
Maybe some help specifically with this would be more helpful right now than counselling for past issues which I know are very painful.
Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com
Your anxiety is the human representation of the pictures that you paint using your many vivid colours of revolving and reoccurring thoughts.
How big is your gallery ?
I have got up this morning and I feel dreadful, that is the only way to describe it.
I am so tired and irritable and really dont know what to do with myself. If i lay or sit around I get horrible thoughts rushing through my head, I try to challege these but they just keep returning today.
I need to go and take my mum shopping and go to the cemetry but I dont feel I can go out the door, any advice here, would it be best to just flipping do it or leave it today, its drawing the line between going too far and not doing enough which is also where I struggle, thanks guys, sorry to moan.
It is a lovely sunny day too.
love from Alexisxxxx
Alexis,
Why not just do the one thing today, instead of everything, and take sometime for yourself too. Skip the shopping and just go to the cemetry, I know myself it is such a damn thin line, but only we know how far we can cross it somedays.
You know yourself best mate, so you do what you feel comfortable with doing, and so what if you don't go out today, there is still tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.
And hey its not moaning, if we didnt post there wouldnt be a forum.
Take care mate
Tracey xxxx
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hi darling, Sorry you feeling low right now, it will pass darling, that i can promise you! I know what you mean by trying to hide everything, carrying on as though everythings just 'great' and as for taking things personally, yep i so know where you're coming from there as well. It's not that i mind being critised at all, it's just when people comment i just think it's because i'm such a bad mum/wife, you know what i mean....it is hard work this anxiety, depression etc..we will eventually get over it, take things slowly, take more 'me' time (if poss), stop the guilt feelings, you are a lovely caring lady and i wish i could come and give you a great big hug!!!!! xxxxxxxx
nomorepanic
12-11-05, 17:51
Alexis
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment.
With regard to the sleep I am the same but I try to go to bed before 12 each night to get into a regular sleep pattern. I know you stay up late but maybe going to bed earlier will get you into a pattern.
As for the busy weekend coming up, we will be there to look after you and help you all we can. It will be a great night on the Friday with us girlies and I will support you all I can over the day.
You are a lot stronger than you think and I know you can do it so hang in there ok.
Big hugs
xxx
Nicola
Hi guys, had a very lazy non productive day really.Spent some time on my bench though.
thanks to ALL who took the time to reply, it really is appreciated.
Thanks pig, yes you are completely right about our mate Trac, she does tend to know best. I agree I dont mind talking about physical things, not that I get many, but I cannot talk about mental health other than here.
Sal, thanks, dont see you much nowadays, hope you are doing a bit better.
Meg, you are always so kind and wonderful, everything you say is true, and for that I send you thanks, you seem to know me lol.
O Carlin, surprised you had time thought Rod was there, thanks to you too, you always turn up to reply to my posts, I still have a place for you on my bad mood/thinking bench remember.:D
Nic, not sure who told you I was always up late. I know I need to go to bed earlier but its not that easy, I can only take so much tossing and turning. I know you will be there for me that weekend, but I would like to be OK and not need any help. Thankyou for being so good to me Nic and talking on msn.
Trac What can I say, I really appreciate you too, thanks for both replies and it was great to talk on the phone last night.we did beat Nic on the word games as I knew we would , Yes we do keep each other going until stupid am, lol . You are a very special person and I enjoy our long conversations on msn too, especially with nic too, poor Nic, we love you really, Thanks Trac[8D]
My special psychic mate Kairen hasent replied because she is away but it was great to speak again last night, you must be psychic to ring when you did, thanks for your support advice and wonderful words pet,you are a very special friend but you know,
Right ive gone on and on, but sometimes I dont think I show how much I appreciate evetrybody so THANKS
love from Alexisxxxx
Hi,
First of all I know I'm gonna get roasted alive for only replying to this thread 18 hours after it began lol. Would you believe I have only just stumbled across it? I should really used the Active Topics button, after all, I am 'official' here...
You've done the right thing by asking for hugs, as we all need them, and sometimes when we need really big ones, people aren't around so here's a big squeeze from me.
I'm glad you went to your bench today - that is a haven for you, and hopefully lets you see more clearly. I'm sure that if you could get this sleep business sorted, you'd make mega-strides.
But remember you've made mega-strides already in that you have managed to go out and mingle in restaurants and cinemas more. For the next couple of weeks, just treat life as a gentle stroll. That way, your busy weekend will go easier, and I think you'll gain from the comfort of friends down in London no end.
You know I'm always here from you, but if you try to call me at 3am and get no reply, treat that as a sign that you should be elsewhere lol
R
xxx
Sue K with 5
12-11-05, 20:32
Hi Alex
I am sorry I have done a Ray as well and have only just found some time to look on NMP! I am doing my fortnightly replies! only ****** time I get is when everyone is out !
You know how many times you have said to me! This is a blip! This will get better and you will get through it !
You know the same applies because I have read the responses and your truly a tower of strength and proof that this does and can get better!
so much has been happening this year for you! some good and some bad!
The holidays, Concerts, Trips to other places and you are still dealing with other things as well that play on your mind !
You have great insight into everyone else and how to deal with others but like most of us when it comes to your own you shut down!
As for the lack of sleep, thats the brain doing overtime ! I think Trac and Mills are classic examples of that ! I can talk until 4am get up at 8am and work all day but then my body suffers and my anxiety levels rise sky high!
Which in turns makes you feel like hell ! it is to be expected and how to improve it is easier said than done !
Be nice to yourself for a while, give yourself some time and some hugs and a pat on the back for making such huge progress and for giving us a wonderful friend to talk to, because you are exactly that Alex !
now go and chill out ! have a stella !!!! and join me in a drink
Hugs and lots of love lil sis !
Sue
xxxxxxxxxx
scknight
Hi Click, many thanks for your kind reply, why do you think I will roast you alive, I know in your official capacity you are busy. Thanks for your big squeeze, it was/is needed at the moment.I need you and enjoy your company too much to roast you.
I am still not sure what the answer regarding sleep is, as I believe i have tried everything except sleeping tablets which is a defifnte no, my latest way of handling by not worrying was the best way I think, but the tiredness has just hit me again.Perhaps like you say once this is sorted I will make mega strides and as you say Ive already done that without the sleep but I dont want the blips that I am once again experiencing, even though I know they are short lived I feel like a timebomb waiting to explode. As Ive got up this morning i feel even more like one and the first place I will be heading when Ive had the energy to get dressed is my bench.
It made me smile about mingling in restaurants as there were very few of us in and I choose the table where I couldnt even see the other people, but I did it with my plan, back up plan and second and third backup plans, :D...you know what I mean, lol,
Thanks also Sue for replying,I like to help others and be there for others, I just wish i could sometimes offload more of how I feel but it is difficult when I know many of you have been in the same boat, you dont need to hear about me and my feelings all again.I know you sleep very little too, but 4 hrs solid would suit me everynight I think, especially in my line of work, work and home is enough for me again at the moment.
Thanks for your support anyway i really appreciate everybodies help and kind words.
Meg I think the GP was referring to me seeing somebody from the mental health team, I just automatically put councellor but ii is more someone to help with irrational thoughts, sleep, moods, panic attacks etc, not sure of title.I told her I felt other people needed more help than I did and she said I was depriving myself, anyway I will see how things go again.But yes you are right some issues in the past are too painful to talk about.
Maybe I need a good shove, things will be better tomorrow when I have to motivate myself to go to work for a few hours.At least I am remaining positive and hopefully wont allow the depression to creep back.
Thanks once again.
love from Alexisxxxx
Alexis,
I think our brain becomes so used to us sleeping for just a few hours a night, that is it very hard to re-adjust and start to have a normal sleeping pattern again, I too have tried everything, but in the end I decided whats the point of going to bed at 10pm just to lay there tossing and turning for 4 hours, may as well stay up and do something productive instead, and anyway one good thing came out of a crap sleeping pattern, we wouldnt have started to chat if I went to bed at 10pm and then I would have missed out on making a very good friend :)
I was reffered to the mental health team too, and I didnt know what to expect, but infact really it was like having a back up team, I had a support worker who popped to see me once a fortnight just for a quick chat to see how I was doing, and there was also a number I could ring anytime day or night, if I needed some support or advice, I never used it, but it was nice to know it was there just incase.
Remember you are doing the right thing, your staying positive, and I am here to give you 'a good shove' whenever you need one lol.
Take care Mate
Lots of love
Tracey XXXX
'Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten'
Hi Tracey, thanks for replying again, it really does help to know people are there which i know you always are.
I have got some very valuable friends both on and off msn and it is great.
Yes I agree about the going to bed early, we probably wouldnt have ever met,lol, and I couldnt of thrashed you on word games as I do.
I have been seen by the mental health team for quite a long time previously and are still on their books but its just if I decide to open them again, perhaps after London if things dont improve I may.
I think the phone number would be a great idea, I know there are samaritans but I dont think they are the right people for me when there are suicidal people out there who need them more.
Anyway thanks I will now go and do word games to stay in the lead, between us two that is, no comment towards the men,x
love from Alexisxxxx
Glad to hear you feel a bit better.
God you and Trac/Nic and was it Millie too - how do you guys stay up so late???
When you lot are chatting late think of me tucked up in my pink pj's and pointy pink sleep hat snoring my head off and dreaming of chocolate!!!!
I have to have 12 hours or I'm fit for nothing lol.
Take care babes (all of you insomniacs).
Love Piglet :)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Piglet,
Pink p.j's, pointed sleep hat, snoring.....(will leave out chocolate), oh gosh, how do you expect any of us to sleep tonight with that image in mindxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxlol take care mate.
Hey Carlin, that thought crossed my mind too but I was too polite to say anything.
Thanks Piglet for your reply.
You see that is the whole problem, no option but to stay up late.
love from Alexisxxxx
and what time was bedtime for you guys last night?????
Love Piglet x
I expect you've tried everything already but is valerian any good (the night time sort)??
:)
"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.
Hi Piglet, I had an awful night last night and went to bed eventually at about 3.50 for me,up at 7.30 and work. to be honest I have had NO medicine herbal or other for this, I really thought it would go as quick as it came so have been reluctant.
I am seriously considering something, Meg did mention Valerian so I need to look into it.
Many thanks Piglet, do you know where they sell cheap hammers to hit me over the head,lol:D
love from Alexisxx
If I help one person today it was worth getting up.
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