chelle1989
18-11-09, 14:10
hey everyone! so im new to this and im starting to think i should of joined something like this along time ago.........
so im 20, i suffer very badly from agoraphobia.
I started to get panic attacks when i was about 17 very midly and they carmed down when i was 18 i moved away for a job, i left my family and friends and strung out on my own. The job i changed to turned out to be very stressful, i found myself gradually getting more and more panic attacks during work and just in normal social situations i went to my doctors and he perscribed me propanolol this did not really help, finally one day i was at work and i had a very bad panic attack, my manager refused to let me go home because i was needed in store too much this made me feel even worse i felt trapped and couldnt even face going back down to the pharmacy. So decided to take my lunch break early to go home and try to calm myself down probably not one of my brightest ideas now when i look back on it, i was incredibly shook up and on edge for the whole hour afterwards my manager then got hold of me and told me to not worry about coming back in.
I went to stay with my parents for a while and had another panic attack in town so i returned to the doctors where he decided to sign me off for a rest period putting my panic attacks down to stress.
A week turned into months my work was fairly understanding but constantly felt pressurised to going back i tried to get back to the pharmacy where i worked but i couldnt even walk into the shop. I eventually handed in my noticed and moved back in with my parents.
My doctor sent me to have cbt but the therapist said my anxitey was to severe and i was reffered to a metal home care team. This helped me greatly but was only offered for a short period of time and as soon as i started to show some progress they stopped giving me treatment. At the same time as my anxiety kicked up my family was going through some very times as my nan was suffering from cancer and later died, i love my parents for helping me but it seemed they had had enough, they seemed to believe i was well and said i would have to go back to work or move out. I had no confidence with going back to work yet and even though i tried to explain to them i was not ready i ended up out on my ear...so with no where to live i looked to the council but because i had no dependent children i was not an immediate priority. I went to stay with my sister for a while and sorted out benefits not i live in shared accomidation. My panic attacks got severly worse again after all my progress with everything that was going on i got severly depressed. I ended up feeling like i had noone to turn to or talk to strung it out alone eventually my boyfriend had enough of me and left aswell. maybe i have felt to sorry for myself i dont know but i have had 3 bouts of severe agoraphobia and keep falling flat on my face, id had enough i started drinking to go out with my friends just to feel slightly normal and to have a life, dont worry i have realised this is not the way to go and have stopped drinking for about 2months. I still suffer from it and just feel like i have exhausted all my options and just feel like i have no ways to turn anymore my dad still tries to help,but i feel like i am just a burden and its hard even more now as my grandad is also dying of cancer i feel selfish because i think my illness is nothing compared to what is happening to him, and its frustraing because i cannot kick it.
wow an essay thanks guys
so im 20, i suffer very badly from agoraphobia.
I started to get panic attacks when i was about 17 very midly and they carmed down when i was 18 i moved away for a job, i left my family and friends and strung out on my own. The job i changed to turned out to be very stressful, i found myself gradually getting more and more panic attacks during work and just in normal social situations i went to my doctors and he perscribed me propanolol this did not really help, finally one day i was at work and i had a very bad panic attack, my manager refused to let me go home because i was needed in store too much this made me feel even worse i felt trapped and couldnt even face going back down to the pharmacy. So decided to take my lunch break early to go home and try to calm myself down probably not one of my brightest ideas now when i look back on it, i was incredibly shook up and on edge for the whole hour afterwards my manager then got hold of me and told me to not worry about coming back in.
I went to stay with my parents for a while and had another panic attack in town so i returned to the doctors where he decided to sign me off for a rest period putting my panic attacks down to stress.
A week turned into months my work was fairly understanding but constantly felt pressurised to going back i tried to get back to the pharmacy where i worked but i couldnt even walk into the shop. I eventually handed in my noticed and moved back in with my parents.
My doctor sent me to have cbt but the therapist said my anxitey was to severe and i was reffered to a metal home care team. This helped me greatly but was only offered for a short period of time and as soon as i started to show some progress they stopped giving me treatment. At the same time as my anxiety kicked up my family was going through some very times as my nan was suffering from cancer and later died, i love my parents for helping me but it seemed they had had enough, they seemed to believe i was well and said i would have to go back to work or move out. I had no confidence with going back to work yet and even though i tried to explain to them i was not ready i ended up out on my ear...so with no where to live i looked to the council but because i had no dependent children i was not an immediate priority. I went to stay with my sister for a while and sorted out benefits not i live in shared accomidation. My panic attacks got severly worse again after all my progress with everything that was going on i got severly depressed. I ended up feeling like i had noone to turn to or talk to strung it out alone eventually my boyfriend had enough of me and left aswell. maybe i have felt to sorry for myself i dont know but i have had 3 bouts of severe agoraphobia and keep falling flat on my face, id had enough i started drinking to go out with my friends just to feel slightly normal and to have a life, dont worry i have realised this is not the way to go and have stopped drinking for about 2months. I still suffer from it and just feel like i have exhausted all my options and just feel like i have no ways to turn anymore my dad still tries to help,but i feel like i am just a burden and its hard even more now as my grandad is also dying of cancer i feel selfish because i think my illness is nothing compared to what is happening to him, and its frustraing because i cannot kick it.
wow an essay thanks guys