Need some help/reassurance

[Jules31]

Hi Guys

Sorry I haven't been around since Christmas but I have been fighting with myself and the anxiety, Just before Christmas I was told I might have a vestibular disorder causing my dizziness so I've been trying to deal with that.

But if that wasn't enough to deal with since Christmas Day, my panic attacks have returned. I had six on Christmas day night one after another. I thought this was a blip but have been gradually getting worse since and all my good intentions, healthy eating, exercise etc have gone out of the window cos I feel so bad

I thought I could deal with the panic but just to show me I couldn't my symptoms have changed dramatically to the extent that I'm convincing myself that I must have some sort of neurological disorder. I had accepted before that there was nothing wrong eventually because I'd had an EEG. However I recently read an article that MRI's should be used to diagnose brain tumours not EEG's

Anyway that's by the by, I just wanted to run my symptoms by you and see if anyone else has the same.

The attacks start off really strangely because I get this feeling as though I suddenly don't know where I am and am withdrawing to myself. It feels as though my whole body is shutting down, especially my brain. It feels as though I can't think clearly but I think I still can. My head then feels a little numb and I get hot rushing feelings through my head. It feels like hot liquid pulsating through my arteries. Sometimes it goes into my mouth, arms, chest and back too. I'm guessing that this is an adrenalin rush but my brain is having a field day with what it could be. At the same time, I start to feel faint, as though I will collapse. Though if I'm honest I always think I'm going to drop dead right there. My legs go tremendously weak and I feel all off balance and as though I'm losing consciousness.Sometimes my head goes tremendously tight and other times it feels like there is pressure just on either side of it, like someone is pushing their fingers against my skull. Usually I have a hot flush too. This morning when it happened, my left arm felt weak and sometimes my left leg does too. Then of course there's the upset stomach to contend with.

The odd thing though is that I don't usually start hyperventilating until I feel like I'm collapsing and my heart rate doesn't seem to increase. In fact sometimes I feel amazingly calm if not somewhat terrified. I know this sounds strange but there just doesn't seem to be the rush of panic there.

I've really been trying to talk myself through the attacks and let the feelings wash over me but no matter what I do I can't stop them whereas I could do it quite easily in the past. It's for this reason that I'm worried I have something else wrong with me

I went to the drs a week ago but I wasn't having all these symptoms then and he said he thought I still had anxiety. The reason I did go was because I'd had a feeling of hot liquid pouring from the top of my head through my entire body together with a feeling of not knowing where I was. He said it sounded like an adrenalin rush.

Each attack can last up to an hour and even then all the symptoms don't go. Throughout the day, I feel off balance, have a headache, and get odd burning feelings over different parts of my body at different times. Sometimes I even get weird sensations in my mouth, tingling or a cool feeling like when you've just cleaned your teeth, but without the mint flavour. Then there are the occasional sharp pains in my head or feelings of warmth in a particular spot

Sorry this is so long but I really do need some friendly advice again

One of the things that scares me the most is that I had an attack the other day even after I'd taken a tranquillizer (because I knew I would be stressed in a training course)

So that's it. Anyone have any insight. I don't want to have to go back to the dr and bother him if it really is anxiety, cos I know I have to go through it on my own. It's just I didn't think my symptoms could change after two years of this nigh

[Meg]

Hi Jules ,

I hadn't heard from you in ages so thought you must be doing OK. Sorry to hear that you've been having such a hard time.

What you describe are bang on similar to adrenalin rushes/panic attacks. The symptoms can change any time especially if you're facing them , the tend to change then to get your attention better.

What about the dizziness that was so prevalent before Christmas ?

I'll ring you when you're home from work

Meg

[Jules31]

Hi Meg

I had been hoping that this was just a blip and I could work my way out of it.

I'm still getting the dizziness but it has to fight for space with all the other symptoms as the moment.

I'm still doing the vestibular exercises and some days it does seem as though the dizziness has eased a little but on other days I get it really bad, particularly when my anxiety is bad

Will try and speak to you later but not sure when I will be home. I am hoping to restart yoga again soon but really can't face it today. It's been a tough one

Jules

[Meg]

Hi Jules ,

I'm not going tonight either . It's too B*****y cold and the hall is draughty and freezing.
Speak later then

Meg

[Lottie32]

Hi Jules

So sorry you had a bad Xmas. This won't be any help, but it might be comforting for you to know that I had a really ****e time over the holidays, felt really ill, and missed out on a load of things cos I just couldn't cope! And this year, my anxiety symptoms were different than my normal anxiety symptoms, so I too thought that something was wrong with me. It wasn't until I got back to work and "calmed" down, that I realised that I had been living for two weeks in a state of heightened anxiety.

I'm feeling much better now though. Try not to think too hard about what happened at Xmas, it is a very very stressful time, and sends even the most normal amongst us "round the bend" for a time.

Concentrate on the memory of being better before Xmas, keep going with the exercises, and I hope that you will soon start to feel better.

Charlie

[Jules31]

thanks for the replies. Still feeling really horrible today. Anyone else feel crappy all of the time?

Jules

[Lottie32]

Jules - last year I did, for most of the time, and resigned myself to this being me in "normal" mode. I got so used to expecting to feel like that that I always did. It's not a deliberate make yourself ill, you just get resigned, can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, resign yourself to a life below par.

Really and truly though, I have started to feel better, and I'm sure its becuase I've been pro-active and started taking some definite action to fight against (of course it doesn't stop me from feeling pretty crappy some of the time, but at least I get good weeks / days)

I never thought that this would work, but plenty of fresh fruit, veggies, fish, chicken, low GI foods, Vit B Complex, loads of water, (almost) giving up tea, drinking dodgy herbal stuff, and regular exercise works. It really does. And I was the biggest sceptic out!!!

I'm not for one minute saying that is cures my anxiety, but it generally makes me feel healthier, which in turn gives me a better base from which to launch my assault on my anxiety if that makes any sense at all?

Its still each day at a time, but there are quite a few days recently when I haven't had to "think" about everything I do, cos I feel so awful.

The other plus side is that I look better, my nails are growing more, I've lost a lot of water retention, and have more energy.

Maybe it's worth a try for you?

It certainly won't do any harm.

Good luck

Charlie

Charlie

[Jules31]

thanks Charlie

I know I should be doing all that and intend to. It's just taking the initial step again which is so hard when I feel like this

Jules

[stimpy]

Hi jules

I had the same thing when I first started panicing.
Feeling like my blood was hot, even though I wasn't.

If you are worried, it is always a good idea to talk to your doctor.
He might want to give you a 24 hour urine test just to be on the safe side. It's nothing to worry about, all they do is test your urine to see if there is too much adrenline being passed. My doctor tells me he has never had a positive test yet.

Try not to worry to much, as it could be the circle of
panic. You feel symptoms so you worry and you worry because you feel symptoms


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Eccentric

[Lottie32]

Jules

It really, really is very difficult. However, I can honestly say that once you have pushed yourself over the edge, so to speak, it won't be long before you feel the benefits.

I still have strange sensations, bad days, and can't cope moments, however, my general sense of well being is much improved, and I'm hoping I can use this to work on and improve my general outlook.

Maybe it would be best for you to keep a list of things you want to do - buy vitamin supplements, improve diet, work out how your going to do it - visit the supermarket, and WH Smith for some good cook books etc. Then get a note book,and set yourself targets. Don't rush, and don't try and do everything at once. Take your time, little steps and often, and tick off each goal as you get there.

Not only did it take me a whole fortnight to pluck up the courage to phone the gym, and book an induction, but I was ill thinking about it for days before, really thought I was going to throw up when I was in there - and to compound it all I got stuck in the bloody car wash at Sainsburys, on the way to the gym. So I was late. And had a really dodgy excuse for being so.

Now I wonder what all the fuss was about - I'm not saying the gym is my favourite place in the world, but I LOVE the buzz it gives me afterwards.

Just try a bit at a time, I've come to the conclusion that ultimately there is only one person who can make you better - and thats you!

good luck Jules

Hope you're feeling a bit brighter today. And don't be too hard on yourself - Xmas is a ****ty time, and should be banned in my book

Love

Charlie