LaNae
21-11-09, 23:54
Hi
So I have health anxiety. I have been referred to a counsellor but I keep forgetting to book it. I have been to counselling before but it hasn't really helped. And I don't want to take meds cos I'm scared of side-effects :D
Things I have been terrified of in past: getting the flesh-eating bacteria from ANY tiny graze, getting MS, getting Parkinson's, getting motor-neurone disease, various cancers depending on what day it is, getting swine flu and being one of the people who die from it, getting schizophrenia, etc.
I know exactly why I have this- my childhood. My dad was a domestic abuser and terrorised my poor mother. My childhood was very unpredictable- I grew up in a lovely place but these entirely random, extremely violent outbursts made me quite honestly think my mum and me were going to be killed. I desperatley tried to predict why/when they would occur but to no avail. So it's left me constantly on 'high alert', I guess, waiting for this bomb to drop, this constant threat on my life that has never dropped, thank God.
Why health? No idea. I guess I feel like my health, my body, is so personal, so it would be feel so invasive for my health to suffer, and there is no escape cos it's inside of me. It would be terrible to lose a limb or something, but what I really fear is something paralysing/killing me.
Cheerful intro.
I have been a lurker for a while but it's nice to join you all.
So I have health anxiety. I have been referred to a counsellor but I keep forgetting to book it. I have been to counselling before but it hasn't really helped. And I don't want to take meds cos I'm scared of side-effects :D
Things I have been terrified of in past: getting the flesh-eating bacteria from ANY tiny graze, getting MS, getting Parkinson's, getting motor-neurone disease, various cancers depending on what day it is, getting swine flu and being one of the people who die from it, getting schizophrenia, etc.
I know exactly why I have this- my childhood. My dad was a domestic abuser and terrorised my poor mother. My childhood was very unpredictable- I grew up in a lovely place but these entirely random, extremely violent outbursts made me quite honestly think my mum and me were going to be killed. I desperatley tried to predict why/when they would occur but to no avail. So it's left me constantly on 'high alert', I guess, waiting for this bomb to drop, this constant threat on my life that has never dropped, thank God.
Why health? No idea. I guess I feel like my health, my body, is so personal, so it would be feel so invasive for my health to suffer, and there is no escape cos it's inside of me. It would be terrible to lose a limb or something, but what I really fear is something paralysing/killing me.
Cheerful intro.
I have been a lurker for a while but it's nice to join you all.