Back to work tomorrow after 5 months off

[ian1]

Hi, nice to meet you all.

I have suffered from really bad panic attacks and anxiety for about 10 years now. I have generally managed to cope with it, and haven't taken any medication for it.

In June this year, things at work came to a head as my duties were increased and increased. I discussed this with my manager but she wasn't al all understanding and told me in not so many words to just get on with it.

I had what I consider to be some kind of breakdown and ended up being off work sick for the last 5 months. During this time I have had some CBT support from MIND which was very useful.

I am feeling a lot better now and am back to work tomorrow. I have been assured by my manager and HR during our formal meetings that my duties have gone back to what is in my job description. I have this in writing so hopefully that should be the case, and I feel I can cope with that.

I am, of course, a little nervous about going back and may need somewhere to discuss how it's going and hopefully get some support. Hence me registering here :)

I hope you are all doing OK, and I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!

[AnxiousHarry]

Hello ian1 welcome 2 NMP, hope it goes well 4 you back at work, plenty of help and advice on here GREAT bunch of peeps on here :D:welcome:

[maddie]

Well done and good luck for tomorrow!
I left work due to an incident at work. Remember, the stress you feel is not the same response someone else might have in the same situation. That doesn't matter - it is your perception of stress in the workplace that counts.

[ian1]

Thanks!

I have decided that I am not going to let them get to me, it's what I think and feel that counts.

I have found exercise and losing weight (lost 5 stones...deliberately!!) to be very helpful. I told my manager in one of the meetings that I was joining a gym near work and was going to take my full lunch hour each day and go do some exercise to set me up for the afternoon.

She questioned how that would fit into the day, and what if there wasn't time to take a full hour. I said that's too bad, I WAS taking the hour as it was important to keep me well.

She pulled a face and huffed and puffed a bit, but I'm really not bothered what they think. I am entitled to an hour at lunchtime, and from now on I'm going to take it.

I am going to take this attitude into all work issues and if they don't like it, tough :D

[pinkcherryhearts]

hi ian
glad to hear that you are back to work and have the confidence to tell your boss how you feel. You must have breaks, my panic attacks were caused by not having a long enough break so well done for telling her straight. stay confident and well done :)

[ann01]

Ive been off work sick with anxiety and panics for 7 months now. I would like to wish you the very best on your return to work, you may find it could be the making of you. Glad to hear your being strong and positive. Let us know how it goes.
Ann

[ian1]

Thanks all, off for an early night in readiness. Will let you know tomorrow evening how my first day back goes.

Should be an interesting day, work til 5pm then have to have the swine flu vaccine at 5.30pm!

[Maj]

All the best to you Ian. You've done so well losing all that weight, that must have done loads for your self-esteem. I can relate to the extra duties at work, it does catch up and make you feel resentful, no wonder you felt stressed. You're the one that's come out on top. You've changed your life for the best. Well done:yesyes: I hope they realise what a good conscientious worker they have. And yes, take your full break - you're no better thought of if you don't. You are on the right track - well done and hope you have a good day. Let us know how you get on.
Myra:winks:

[ian1]

Back from first day at work. It was OK and I was fine with regards to panics and anxiety. Crap day though, had a meeting with my manager and the person who had been covering for me, and seemed to get the blame for everything that isn't right. I hadn't given this person enough support so they struggled, I gave that person too much support so they became dependent, things were behind because I hadn't put things in place etc etc. Amazing how it's all my fault and I haven't been there for 5 months!

This was all without even the slightest question of 'how are you?', how caring they are.

Stayed calm and fought my corner, though, and proud of myself for that. No way am I going to let them set me back!

[nomorepanic]

Well done Ian

We are all very proud of you to have done that and stood your ground too.

[ian1]

Thanks :D

Had my swine flu vaccine too. Lucky me gets to have a second jab in three weeks as I don't have my spleen and therefore am higher risk.

I get all the best presents!

[munkeyinblack]

well done you!! What an achievement! Work is the same for everyone we all think were important and and up just being another number. You have the right attitude to deal with it and endless support on here. Good Luck for now on
Munkey x

[Maj]

Yes, you've returned to work with the right attitude and this in turn will bring self confidence to you. Standing up for yourself isn't easy but does pay off eventually and makes you a stronger person. Well done.
Myra:yesyes:

[ian1]

Thanks everyone, what a great place this is!

[ian1]

Second day over with and not too bad at all. Felt a bit sorry for myself this morning but soon pulled round and had a good afternoon.

For anybody thinking of going back to work, please take heart. If I can do it, then you can too :yesyes:

[munkeyinblack]

glad to hear your doing well! can only get better from now on ..well done on taking the first step!
Munkey x

[Maj]

You are doing so well Ian, be proud of yourself. Returning to work is an achievement in itself. I don't imagine it will be easy at times to start with but you've made that first step and gone back. Think about yourself and let others get on with it. Take each day as it comes. You've gone through a lot and deserve to be where you are so good on you:yesyes:
Myra:)

[ian1]

Reached the end of the first week as doing a phased return for a couple of weeks.

It's been OK in terms of anxiety and panic, nothing except a couple of moments of anxiety that I managed to dismiss quickly.

I am so angry at the people at work, though. No interest in whether I am OK, just lots of demands of things I need to be sure I do, as if I wasn't doing them before. I was good at my job before and am good at my job now.

I feel as if I have gone back after a period of disciplinary suspension rather than sick leave, and as if I have to prove myself all over again. No acceptance that it was there increasing demands that sent me off in the first place!

My manager has been awful really, but also the people I manage too. I thought I had a good relationship with my team, but not any more. Lost any trust I had in them as individuals as they appear to have used my absence as an excuse to stick the knife in wherever possible.

Well, I'm back now and I'm in charge, and there is no way on earth I am going to let them beat me and make me bad again. I'm feeling strong and am sure I will cope with anything they throw at me so they better watch out if they think my absence has made me weak to the point they can break me!!

Thanks for all the supportive comments, they really do make a difference :winks:

[looking4answers]

Welcome to NMP .. Michael

[kazzie]

WELL DONE IAN:yesyes::yesyes::yesyes:

Luv Kaz x:D

[JaneC]

Well, I'm back now and I'm in charge, and there is no way on earth I am going to let them beat me and make me bad again. I'm feeling strong and am sure I will cope with anything they throw at me so they better watch out if they think my absence has made me weak to the point they can break me!!



You have an absolutely fantastic attitude ian. I know what it can be like going back to work after being off a while (although at least it was only the bosses that looked at me as if I was dirt).

All the very best and don't let the b******s get you down :yesyes:

[PoppyC]

Hi Ian
Well Done on returning to work. :yesyes:

[Louise2009]

Hi Ian,

That's really excellent on returning to work, you should be really proud of yourself!

I am in a similar situation, considering going back to work soon, after being off work for 8 months. I am not on medication. During your 5 months off sick did you take any medication? I know you said previously you had not taken any. I am just wondering whether I can return to work with no medication to help me!

Louise

[ian1]

I haven't taken any medication at all, and have returned to work without meds too.

The big thing for me was losing a lot of weight and getting fit, it's made me feel loads better.

On a side note, went clothes shopping today (on my own...yay!) and everything I needed was a size 'medium'. Always been XXL before :yahoo: