Emetophobic -Am i the worlds worst auntie?!!

[maeanna]

Hey guys, Just wanted to talk to people who understand! It was my nieces birthday yesterday and she had a party at home with 12 other kids. I spent it all hidden in the lounge with the cat! incase anyone was sick as there was a bouncy castle and obv party food!!!
Anyway my niece didnt seem bothered i wasnt around as i went on the bouncy castle with her after theyd all gone but then i kept telling her not to eat any more party food as she'd eaten a fair bit and my sister said oh stop bossing her shes fine. Today my sister and niece met me in town for lunch where my niece announced she'd been sick during the nite. My sister said no you werent and she said yes i was and now my tummy hurts again. I had a massive go at my sister for a. bringing my niece out after she'd been sick (even tho she didnt have a bug) and b. for lying and teaching my niece to lie to me. Then i walked off incase my niece was sick again and went home.
My niece really wants to come and see my flat but i refuse to have her round incase shes sick (i do have cream carpets!! lol ) its weird coz i always had her to stay when she was a baby and then when she turned 3 i didnt want her round anymore coz she might be sick. Irrational i know!
Anyway im feeling pretty bad about all this now!!!

[BabyRachel]

Its okay... Don't beat yourself up too much about it! I know you feel like your the worst Auntie, but you went to her party didn't you! You still made it there!

The thing with phobias are theyre all irrational. Im emetophobic too so I understand...

[Danath]

absoloutely the very definition of a phobia is an irrational fear, if its a rational fear then its not a phobia.

I understand why you were mad at your sister for tellnig her daughter to lie to you about being sick and I agree, teaching a child to lie under any circumstances is immoral I feel, they can usually do it without help when theyre a little older! :P

if you were the worlds worst aunty then you wouldnt be worried that you were the world's worst aunty, you jsut wouldnt care, but you do which shows you care very much for your neice, like babyrachel says, you were there and you helped weith her party, even if youd been in the other room the kids wouldve been on the bouncy castle, and kids generally are oblivious to the rest of the world when theyre on a bouncy castle lol.

I too am emetophobic and I have that it helps to distinquish between the causes of sickness in someone nearby, for example, if my little lad of 2 had some bad milk and it made him sick, although the sight would somewhat distress me, i wouldnt worry about being sick myself because I knew that it was caused by the bug, and not something I could catch myself. Bear in mind too that children generally have weaker immune systems than adults and generally catch things that we wont.

hope this helps

Dan

[maddie]

I appreciate why you were mad with your sister. I don't think you are the world's worst Aunt. I know plenty of people without emetophobia who are wary of kids on cream carpets!

Could you possibly take your neice out somewhere? Then, when you felt confident she was OK, you could take her back to your flat for a quick look-see before you take her home or your sister collects her?

Maybe you could make a trip to the zoo, or library, swimming, theatre, or museum once a month with your neice. Places you could share special experiences together without eating or the worry of her being sick.

[bugglesbeth]

Absolutely everything that you have said makes perfect sense to me as a fellow emetophobic. I would, and have reacted exactly the same way. I was a a child's birthday party just a month ago with a bouncy castle and lots of sweet things. (you always get one child who just gorges themself and complains of feeling sick!!) I hate it. As for children upto the age of 3, I am exactly the same and I just cannot explain it. I worked as a nursery nurse in a baby room for 2 1/2 years, that was fine I could even deal with the babies being sick. But when that same child became 2 I could cope with seeing it, even clear it up but not able to comfort the child, as much as that teared me apart inside with sadness. I would tidy up and another person would cuddle the child. But any child over the age of two I was unabe to feel completely confident with them incase they were ill.

I just want you to know that you are definitely not a bad aunty and that your neice will love you whatever! :yesyes:

I hope your sister understands your phobia, I know how difficult it can be to a non emetophobic.

bugglesbeth x :)

[maeanna]

Hey guys, Thanks for all your replies. I went round to see my sis and niece at my parents tonite and was horrified to find my niece had been sick in my old room and there was a stain on the carpet. It made me really irritated! and it was next to a box of my clothes so now i dont feel i can wear them!!! irrational or what!!?!!
Anyway i somehow managed to control myself and told my sister she could wash all my clothes even tho theyre in a plastic box!!! anyway now my sister has told my niece i dont like people being sick my niece takes pleasure in every 5mins saying i feel sick! Not amusing! anyway im gonna keep my distance for a bit!!!lol

[looking4answers]

Nope just being practical. Maybe one day you two can go out for ice cream or shopping or just a walk in the park. I can think of many other things that would far outweigh what you are talking about rating yourself as a bad aunt.. Don't worry be happy and im sure if you tell her how you were feeling when she gets older she will understand ,or then again why tell her at all. She still loves you ..

[maeanna]

Thanks guys! Well my niece called me and invited me to her xmas play so i guess she still loves me!! lol anyway obv im going but am now dreading the fact that the norovirus is going around and im gonna be in a room full of people!! even tho u cant catch it all that easily!!! guess il b takin the handgel!!! lol