I Don't Understand Why Post ,Even One Gets No Response ?

[looking4answers]

Hi everyone.

Im not trying to be rude or ugly in any manner shape or size here. I just don't understand.. when you are online and you see a cry for help from a fellow member and you don't even post a "hey you might want to see a doctor" or a "hey hope you feel better" or "hey glad to have you here we are all in the same boat" day after day I see post many of which never get answered..

First of all for some people it takes a lot of courage..this is their last hope of getting someone ,anyone to help them.. They wrote and no one responded..
They left feeling alone and hurt and uncared for.. I have had this happen a lot and I know I ask a lot of questions over and over and over which is probably ocd.. But is it asking too much for someone to check to see if there are unanswered post from people urgently asking for help, they are probably panicking and freaking out ..Thats why they wrote..

It just kind of bothers me that this board boast membership of over 15000 people .. and I know there are millions of redundant post and so on.. but maybe someone new signs on here,they are panicking and don't know how to use the computer that well or use this site..They are scared and hurting.. feel for them and please post something to them even if its a hope you feel better sorry you aren't feeling well.. Its just a kind thing to do ..

If you were new and were scared to death and found this site and just joined and nobody answered you .. How would it make you feel.? Like I said no offense intended and no offense given.. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I did want to ask why and to ask please.. care. thanks Michael

[Milo]

Hi Michael,

This is my first ever post - only just registered:)

I have been sitting here all morning reading your responses to others posts, and I can understand your frustration.

So I thought I would respond and say hello and I am listening. I dont suffer HA, just Anxiety and PA, but after reading many of your posts I do know that you are worry about your BP lot and on many occasions I have wanted to post to say, 'from someone who suffers Hyptertension and High Cholesterol, there are safe ways to manage and control it' but I do understand your anxiety.

Anyway, thanks for all your support you have given me over the past month or so - without even knowing you were doing so.:yesyes:

[looking4answers]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

[pollyanna]

Michael,

i understand your view and frustration , and i can only speak for myself on this, but i have 391 posts on here, and only 3 of which i have started as a thread myself, i try to reply to posts if i can, but a lot of the time i dont have the energy or the concentration to reply, so a lot of the time i reply to the ones that i can identify most with, also there ends to be a lot of very similar posts, and if i have recently replied to one , i really dont have the energy to post again. I do feel bad about that, but thats just where i am at the moment . i share your frustration, but thought i would give another perspective

P x

[diane07]

The other thing if i can just add is that, the majority of the time, where you see no-one has answered to a thread is because they have put up the same thread about the same situation on a different forum, people answer to one of them and the other gets neglected, thats why we ask people not to put up duplicate threads on the forum about the same subject as one always gets neglected.

The other reason being, some people can only give advice on their own personal experience, ie: i can't answer threads about medication as i don't do them.

There are lots of reasons why some threads don't get answered and its not because we don't care, just thought i'd let you know the more likely reasons of them not being answered.

best wishes

di xx

[maddie]

Hello. I always look especially for posts with no replies and give an answer when I can. If, as Di says, I know nothing about the problem, then I am unable to give an answer, so I leave it to the members I'm sure will know. Also as Di says, if someone is posting about the same subject on repeated threads, I only answer once. There are some days when my head is empty and I need support. On those days I'm not capable of stringing together a sensible response to anyone.

I hope you receive replies to all your posts and find them helpful.

[Alisonj]

I agree, I go out of my way to read the posts with no responses and see if I can help. I would hate to think anyone would feel left out at all, that would not help matters.

[Annguitar]

Hi Michael, I've just logged in looking for posts on fear of dying just as you drop off to sleep and came across yours, so this is just a hello and hope you are well today.

Ann

[ladybird64]

You ask why, I'll try and answer from my own perspective.
Like many others here, I keep an eye out for "newbies" and unanswered posts, nobody wants to see someone in distress go unanswered.
For the past two weeks, I have answered very few posts, mainly due to the fact that I have been battling my own "demons" and I could barely write a legible sentence..I don't tend to wear my heart on my sleeve too much but I can say with all honesty that I had lost the will to live...things are just too much to cope with.
I am feeling slightly better today but know I am nowhere near ok, the only refuge I have from this is this forum, I have no other support. While my mind is so disturbed with these thoughts I cannot communicate properly with others as my thinking is off balance..I cannot advise someone "it will get better" when I feel so awful. Better to wait until I start to feel ok then I can try and offer practical help.

[PoppyC]

Hi Michael

I know people may be too busy or have their own issues to deal with, however I think that if we can just take a few minutes out per day to write even one reply to others, then it would be a good thing. I can understand though, if someone is really down then they might read a post, but not feel like replying.
Sometimes I have not been in a good place emotionally to be able to offer any advice. Sometimes I feel confused when replying because I tend to ramble and then I have doubts about whether my reply will be of any help and then I end up deleting my reply.:wacko:
It is disheartening when we don't get replies. I have had no replies sometimes to some of my posts,and if I was feeling down, then I felt worse, even though a part of me, knew that maybe others were too busy or had their own problems to contend with,to reply. I have noticed that a lot of posts don't get answered too, and especially the ones from newcomers too.
I am glad that you posted your message!

[suzy-sue]

It can work the other way around too .Sometimes you can answer a post and spend a long time trying to help ,you dont always feel up to it and yet you try to offer support .Many posts go unanswered or even aknowledged ,It sometimes makes you feel "Why do I bother " that canbe just as bad if you are feeling low yourself .A simple word THANKS ,doesnt take long .. On a different note ,I hope you feel better soon Pollyana ,you always give good advice and its sometimes impossible to reply when you are in a bad place yourself .Take care Sue xx

[Downsinthenorth]

Hi Michael

Your post made me think, and I'm going to make an more of an effort to check for unanswered posts. Don't worry that you might have come across as "rude" - you didn't, just concerned. You obviously care about other people, which makes you a decent person in anybody's book. :hugs:

As other people have pointed out, it is sometimes difficult or impossible to respond to a post - when you have little that is relevant or constructive to write, or when you are having a bad day and can't help yourself, let alone anyone else.

Speaking for myself, I often don't expect my posts to be answered. I often post just to consolidate my thoughts about aspects of my symptoms or treatments, and for myself. Even so, it is great to hear from other people. It is always useful to get other people's input or advice, pleasant to know that you've helped someone, and reassuring to know that you are not alone with your own problems. :)

Downsinthenorth

[Veronica H]

:bighug1:Hi all. We can scroll down when we have clicked on the search button to find all unanswered threads, so maybe more will get answered since Nic and Co have revamped the site. ( Thanks Nic, I love the new site and I think this thread has reminded me to say so...so you have a point there Michael). Just thought I would mention this incase some people have missed that info.
As for the discussion I agree with everyone! We do what we can, when we can and there are times when I have no answers and will just offer a hug and say I don't know. Some people ask very specific questions that only those with direct experience can answer. There are times when I am online but donot have the emotional energy to answer anyone. It is easy to forget the reason why we are all here, given that most appear to be intelligent articulate and caring people but we cannot provide 24hr cover given the nature of our illnesses and other commitments.
Love and hugs Michael, this has been a good discussion to have.
Veronica

[KK77]

I've only started one thread here and the rest are all replies. I think some people find comfort in asking a lot of questions - even if it gets a bit tiring at times for the people answering. But at the same time I find comfort in being able to answer those questions to the best of my ability. So it works both ways, and there are people here that tirelessly give good advice.

I always try to give comfort to someone even if I don't feel competent answering their question - this is something we can all do. But sometimes people look for quick answers here because they feel afraid or just can't face seeking proper medical advice, which I think is wrong. Most of the time the symptoms people get is probably due to their anxiety but you can never know for sure and I think these people should be urged to always see their GP rather than just leaving it "cos the guys at NMP have reassured me it's only HA".

I also find that a lot of people feel a bit funny about leaving the first post for some reason and once one person has started others seem to join in. I suppose it's because we suffer from anxiety here and sometimes worry a bit about what to say!

[maxine]

I never knew we had an "unanswered threads" button... what a grea idea!!!

I shall now check that once i've done the active posts button. :-)

[nomorepanic]

Yes the unanswered threads is under the search facility at the top of the screen and was new in the recent upgrade.

I did a post about something similar before and that is here:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6252

For me personally I find it hard to keep repeating the same advice over and over and it does get frustrating when you do take the time to reply and that member never seems to acknowledge any replies that are given.

I too, like some others, cannot reply to a post that I know nothing about and it seems pointless just saying "sorry I can't help" but maybe that is all that someone needs - I don't really know.

It is also a good idea to read the similar threads which are right at the bottom of this page/screen and use the search facility to find previous threads too.

On another note you will see that the statistics on the forum show this:

Threads: 56,108, Posts: 530,005, Members: 15,192, Active Members: 1,255

This means that we have over 15,000 members but active members are only those that have posted in the last 14 days.

[bottleblond]

I would just like to shaddow what Nicola said...

When you spend time and time again giving the same advice and it is clear that not only is the person ignorning that advice but also ignoring the fact that you have at least attempted to help them, then quite frankly, why should i waste my time?

And also shaddowing what Diane has said...some people do 'hundreds' of threads on the same subject with dozens of replies each time and that is no exageration and again, you're not even recognised then why should you continue replying to further posts? ( Waste of time).

Anyway i hope these replies have answered your querie

Lisa

[munkeyinblack]

I agree with the above its disheartening to try and help people who just ignore you. I think thats worse than being ignored in the first place
Munkey
x

[KK77]

I agree that it's disheartening when you take the time to reply to someone and they ignore your response (I have replied to a number of people in the medication forum and they haven't replied back), but the way I look at it is that even if they ignore you, your reply may help someone else that comes along with the same question or issue.

[andrea thompson]

thanks for repling to my post.... when i come on here i always try to reply to peoples posts.... its not nice when you post something yourself and no one replies.... i suppose people only reply to things they are interested in.... i think you have made a very valid point and i for one will make an extra effort to support people on here...

take care

x x

[looking4answers]

Yes the unanswered threads is under the search facility at the top of the screen and was new in the recent upgrade.

I did a post about something similar before and that is here:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6252

For me personally I find it hard to keep repeating the same advice over and over and it does get frustrating when you do take the time to reply and that member never seems to acknowledge any replies that are given.

I too, like some others, cannot reply to a post that I know nothing about and it seems pointless just saying "sorry I can't help" but maybe that is all that someone needs - I don't really know.

It is also a good idea to read the similar threads which are right at the bottom of this page/screen and use the search facility to find previous threads too.

On another note you will see that the statistics on the forum show this:

Threads: 56,108, Posts: 530,005, Members: 15,192, Active Members: 1,255

This means that we have over 15,000 members but active members are only those that have posted in the last 14 days.



Nicola,

Outstanding. I am really happy this many people spoke up to say the very same thing or to offer reasons. I didn't think about it but now Im reminded.. to say thank you and wonderful work on the NEW SITE..Its beautiful and you all have really made it a remarkable work of art and help.

It works perfectly and so many people enjoy it. Please don't get me wrong about what I said. I wasn't being mean or hateful.. Its just that many times i see people crying out. Ok..Me thats another story all together :-) but these are new people that got their courage to finally post and no one said anything to them .,they sit and wait and wonder.. what has happened and they go away hurt and lonely.

My suggestion was if you don't know anything about their condition ,make a comment that is supportive..Its just to let them know someone is listening , like Im sorry you are going through a rough time or I can understand how you feel, or check with a doc, or anything just to let someone know there is a kindred person there to say hello and hope you feel better. I think that is what a lot of this is about...But thats just a thought. You are very great at posting and I know you can't do this around the clock,although sometimes I wonder about you lol..

But I just wanted others to be aware of how people felt and also wanted them to know if maybe just maybe they tried to help someone else it would make them feel better.I tell you ,Nicola.that is one of the most helpful things that has helped me. Reading and thinking "hey I have had that".. Also i read where others get annoyed because people never said thank you . Im guilty of that as well and hope those that answered me will forgive me
for that oversight..

I love the fact that you included unanswered post and see your reasoning about the why bother because there are so many post on here.. But you have to remember lots of the people that sign on here panicking ...maybe aren't familiar with how to search or how to find other post about whats going on with them and they are scared and might not know that much about computers.. Believe it or not many people can get online and go to a site but have no clue as to actually know how to get around on that site.. Its not your fault because you have made it even more easier than ever to find everything here.. but some cannot..

I would like to thank each and every one that responded here and Ill try to do better with saying thank you for responding and also trying to help others and reply..I have never experienced many of the things on here that are posted about but I never want anyone to feel alone either.. I want to say a big Thank you to all involved in the construction of this site and the encouragement that each of you has offered different people many times..

Like I said it was never my intention to hurt or be mean to anyone. I posted to make people aware there were many people that never got answered.. at sometimes the most critical time when they were in a state of immense worry and shock and panic.. Also never want anyone to feel alone..God Bless all of you and thanks for taking the time to read and respond . I just thought I would ask and mention sometimes if you try to help it helps you ..even if you don't know what the issue is,just a kind hello and sorry you are feeling bad would do..

I understand those of you that don't have time and can barely post their own issues ,I really do.My post was just a plea for others that are scared at times and need help..Take care and once again thanks for answering.. Michael

[Danath]

hrm, I often find my statements or questions get ignored in the chatroom too, as a result I don't really bother going in anymore.

Dan

[looking4answers]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm Never found a post of yours that didn't have a bunch of replys.. maybe its another Dan's not sure.. but sorry you been ignored you won't be in the future if I can help it.. As for the chat.. I never ever go in there.. I find that I am sitting watching and trying to interact in the past and never got a answer but it could have just been chat not working right.. So don't take it personally we are all here for you and im usually here when others aren't because im 7 hours behind you.. and im around .. Michael

[starlight78]

Thanks for your post Michael, it made me think. I was new here once and was lucky enough to have some lovely warm replies that helped me enormously so I will try and do the same for others. I think we sometimes worry that we dont have something helpful to say, but just saying hello and your not alone is enough isn't it!
Thanks again.
Starlight x

[looking4answers]

:):hugs: