In tears while writing this..

[Kirsty-Jayne]

Im a mess =/ as much as i hate to admit that to myself, i write in journals, to express how i feel, but i am starting to stop doing it as i dont like admitting to myself how i feel. I went away for 2 days last week i did it to get away,and to show my mum that her loving little daughter could actually just up and go, and she admitted that she was worried, thats why i did it, to scare my mum. Im not an agraphobic but because i am on a course of Flouxetine, i have been getting bad side effects, so i have wanted to be near my bed for a few weeks. I dont think personally there is alot wrong with that... so yeah, my dad has just informed that my mum is worried about me.. why can't she tell me? She drinks at least a 70ml bottle of vodka a night, she goes go bingo with her best friend at least 5 nights a week, and buys a bottle on every occasion. She drives her car home from darts on a wednesday night, well i say that.. she gets my brother to drive her to at least round the corner of our street so my dad doesn't expect she's been drinking.. when i hear his car, i walk straight through to the living room and 'prepare' him shall we say. I feel like im tearing them apart in some ways. I suffer with panic attacks, and i just dont need to worry about my mums drinking at the moment. She also hides up her bottles, and fills them back up with water.. i found one the other day which was under the sink.. while i was tiding the house, (a 3 bedroomed house, the child cleans cos the mother cant be arsed!) there was a 1/4 left, i put a note on it saying. ''please dont drink me'' i love you... i checked it this morning.. its been replaced with water, what can i say.. i had a reasonably happy upbringing. I've had to deal with a lot more then half the people my age have had to, But thats made me who i am. My boyfriend is being supportive as possible, and i think my dad is on the road to hell from stress. How can i get her to stop?! i've tried everything! I dont know what else to do.. besides having panic attacks, and a high level of anxiety.. im in absolute showers of tears! Sorry for the rant! i just need some friendly uplifting advise! xx

[den68]

just a note to say im thinking of you

denise xx

[gypsywomen]

hello have you thought your mum might be suffering from depression and drinking is the only way she can find to feel better ,,i am not saying its ok ,,but sounds like she needs help,,from an outside source ,maybe if she did you would start to feel better it must be hard for you and your dad

[jujuju]

:welcome:
Im a mess =/ as much as i hate to admit that to myself, i write in journals, to express how i feel, but i am starting to stop doing it as i dont like admitting to myself how i feel. I went away for 2 days last week i did it to get away,and to show my mum that her loving little daughter could actually just up and go, and she admitted that she was worried, thats why i did it, to scare my mum. Im not an agraphobic but because i am on a course of Flouxetine, i have been getting bad side effects, so i have wanted to be near my bed for a few weeks. I dont think personally there is alot wrong with that... so yeah, my dad has just informed that my mum is worried about me.. why can't she tell me? She drinks at least a 70ml bottle of vodka a night, she goes go bingo with her best friend at least 5 nights a week, and buys a bottle on every occasion. She drives her car home from darts on a wednesday night, well i say that.. she gets my brother to drive her to at least round the corner of our street so my dad doesn't expect she's been drinking.. when i hear his car, i walk straight through to the living room and 'prepare' him shall we say. I feel like im tearing them apart in some ways. I suffer with panic attacks, and i just dont need to worry about my mums drinking at the moment. She also hides up her bottles, and fills them back up with water.. i found one the other day which was under the sink.. while i was tiding the house, (a 3 bedroomed house, the child cleans cos the mother cant be arsed!) there was a 1/4 left, i put a note on it saying. ''please dont drink me'' i love you... i checked it this morning.. its been replaced with water, what can i say.. i had a reasonably happy upbringing. I've had to deal with a lot more then half the people my age have had to, But thats made me who i am. My boyfriend is being supportive as possible, and i think my dad is on the road to hell from stress. How can i get her to stop?! i've tried everything! I dont know what else to do.. besides having panic attacks, and a high level of anxiety.. im in absolute showers of tears! Sorry for the rant! i just need some friendly uplifting advise! xx

[suzy-sue]

This is so sad ..Every one in your family is worried about each other but no one knows how to make it better .You musnt take on the responsibility all on your own ,it really isnt fair ..Perhaps you need to have a word with your Dad about getting your Mum to get the help she needs with her drinking .Maybe shes not aware how you are feeling .Sometimes a shock with the realization of how its making you feel ,will give her the push she needs .Could you print out what you have posted here and maybe leave it somewhere she will see it ? Maybe that will make her realise ..? I hope things improve for you all ,but am pleased you have a nice caring boyfriend to help support you .You will also get lots of support on here .Take care .Luv Sue xx:hugs:

[jujuju]

hi so sorry to hear u feel like this try not to worry about ur mums drinking, just try to get on with your own life im sure ur mum will sort her self ou,t

[maddie]

:hugs:

Alcoholics Anonymous have support groups for relatives of those with drinking problems. Perhaps you could contact a group in your area.

It is your Mum's choice to drink. You have to make your own choices about your life and not let your Mum make you ill with her behavior.

[Marti36]

Heartwrenching story,keep your head up and try to stay strong.

[Maj]

I feel so sorry for you and your dad. What a horrible situation to be in. Unless your mum admits she has a problem then there's absolutely nothing you can do. It's so sad that she's going down this road of self destruction. She could get help if she wanted it but she can't be forced. I believe al-anon is for relatives of alcoholics and you should maybe contact them. Your mum is a poor soul but you and your dad need to think about your own lives. I really hope your mum realises the harm she is doing to herself and her caring family.
Myra x

[lior]

Oh darling! You sound like an absolute rock for your dad. Well done for supporting your family. You can't change your mum's problems, don't try and take responsibility for it. You are her daughter, you shouldn't feel like you have to take care of her. You've still got your dad around.

You are not alone, there are plenty of people in the same situation as you. It's hard but you'll get through to the other side a stronger person!

[Kirsty-Jayne]

Thank you guys, for all your kind words.. They all mean so much =] I dont know how to approach her anymore.. Everything seems to get on top of me, and i dont know what to do, But i will try all the things everyone has said. Me and my dad are at a bit of a wits end, and im glad people have replied, as the last one, no one did. =[ I cleaned the house up in the end, and started making the tea.. its not like im 10, but i wanna be concentrating on myself. Not her. Cheers guys! Means the world to me! Really does! :blush: xxx