somone read this please

[lee270780]

as i write this im in a terrible mess anxiety is through the roof im not fuctioning properly i feel as if im on another planet ive got terrible muscle pain my arms feel akward to use ive been drinking pretty much for 4 days to cope with it im also just crying for no reason nobody understands how i feel my family dont understand my girlfriend knows but she doesnt really get how its making me feel. my mum understands but very much believes i should just pull myself together (if only it was that easy eh!) also i just feel guilty it actually feels like im doing something wrong does anyone else suffer from this guilt? i dont know what answer im looking for either think i just need to vent have been to docs and he pu me on meds but they just made me feel so spacey so i stopped taking them, also does anyone else feel like they cant reall function properly i actually had to concentrate on putting my pin number in a card machine earlier because i was so anxious but i dont know why, im terrified of waking up during the night because i know at 4am i will be awake and basically will just be lying trembling i just wish my family understood more my brother says im weird think thats why im so guilty i feel like im upsetting them all but i dont mean to!again i apologise but just felt i needed to get this off my chest, ps i know i need to stop drinking and i called in sick to work 2day because i just could not face it, anyone else feel like this? think the guilty feeling is the hardest part also i try to keep alcohol in the house for the middle of the nght because thats when anxiety is at its highest just to chill me out because thats when feel you really feel alone anyway will stop this post now because you will be getting sick of me lol any advice is greatly recieved.

thanks in advance
lee

[gcl86]

Hi Lee, can see your not having a good night tonight at all, hopefully some of us can help. Can i just ask what were the meds you were on then stopped mate?
G

[lee270780]

they were citalopram 20 mg.
cheers
lee

[PanicOver!!]

Hi Lee

The first thing to realise is you are not alone.. lots of us have been through this and come out of the other side.
you are right it is hard for those around you to understand but that doesnt mean nobody does.
Please be really careful using alcohol to dampen the anxiety as it is probably more addictive than the drugs your doc gave you.
Your answer is out there somewhere you just have to find it and here is a great plece to start.

Stay strong buddy

Marc

[lee270780]

thanks marc do appreciate the support in the forum can i just ask does any1 else get the muscle tension the pain in my legs is terrible they just feel so tight and sore

[PanicOver!!]

I get tension in all my muscle's fron time to time ... although its annoying its not anything to worry about

[EmmaJane]

Hi Lee
Sorry your going through a bad time. I get the muscle problems, my achilles in my legs flared up due to tension, I get real bad back problems my legs feel like they can hardly carry me sometimes ( mind you theres, a lot to carry lol ).

Seriously, yes, I do get the muscle tension, it really gets me down at times.

[gcl86]

This i can totally relate to Lee, im on citalopram 20mg for my anxiety too. And your scenario sounds very similair to mine. As much as our family and friends are supportive they will never really understand what its like to suffer with bad anxiety.
First thing first, your not wierd, were all different,some people are tall, im quite short, some fat some thin, some people have anxiety they can deal with, others like us cant, there is nothing wrong with this or asking for help.
The meds will make you feel woozy, i got really bad side effects like you are describing.
I almost felt as if i was out my body, spaced out feeling and they even made me have suicidal thoughts which ive never really had before. You just need to keep telling yourself its not you, its the medication.
Thing is Lee these are temporary effects, they can be horrible in some cases but stopping them suddenly like that will make you feel ten times worse.
The best advice i can give is to talk to your doctor again perhaps about going back on them and try and stick them out.
They can really make a difference in turning your life around and getting you back to your old self but i will be honest,in my case they took me to my lowest first before i climbed up. They do say you have to be at your lowest to climb back up and by your previous post sounds like you could be there mate.
I hope this helps a bit to reassure you Lee, please keep letting us know how you feel
G:)

[gcl86]

oh and yeah i got the muscle pains in my legs as a side effect,could keep them still for days either!!!:doh:

[lee270780]

thanks g it makes such a diference just knowing people will listen and there is help i think sometimes anxiety is kind of overlooked by the medical profession but can actually start to ruin your life if you let it

[gcl86]

No problem at all Lee, all of us here have been through it or something similiar and i know sometimes all you need is someone to listen to how your feeling and truly knows or even if you just want to have a good ol' rant!
I totally mate, agree anxiety can ruin your life but only if you dont give it a good go at trying to manage it the best you can, be that on meds or not.:)

[fishman65]

Hi Lee,I'm much in agreement with what has been said so far.I've been through exactly what you are going through now.I couldn't tell my family that I was having panic attacks at work so I just bottled it all up and got hammered on booze.As I said in another post though,the booze seems like a good idea at the time,most of us feel that at some time or other.However,it will certainly counteract any benefits you might be getting from the citalopram.What you need to do is try to cut back on the drink if you can and give the citalopram a chance to do its work.Most people get side-effects with anti-deps but these fade away after a time,and its then that you start to feel better.But,the alcohol will hinder this process,that's very important to realise.

As for your family,well I'd like to give them a damn good shake and tell them that their son and brother is not well right now.Please see your Dr again as he can help you.PM me if you want ok?You take good care now and all of us here are thinking of you,

Best wishes now, Fishy

[lee270780]

fish thank you mate really appreciate it had a real bad day today but as someone said earlier when ur at the bottom there is only one way to go!
take good care of yourself

[fishman65]

Very true Lee,you hang in there mate...it'll come good in the end you'll see.

Take good care, Fishy

[Logan_Five]

Lee - getting hammered isn't the long term answer, my friend. As hard as it is, going to the GP and sticking with the Citalopram and also asking for some CBT/counselling is probs the best thing you can do. There is a Citalopram survival guide here, but together by a poster called Psyhic Poet. It's long, but very much worth the read;

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=46980

I've been on Citalopram (20mg) for 4 weeks now and I think it's helping a little, although I've had a bad couple of days. Apparently you have to give the meds up to 2 months to take affect before the doc will either consider something else or perhaps up the dosage a little.

Hang on in there mate. If you can cut out the drinking, ask the doc for some Diazepam and/or Temazepam. They can take the edge off the anxiety and also help you to sleep. You have to be very careful with them though, as then can become addictive from continious use. I've been using them on an 'as and when' basis just to give myself a bit of a break and a good sleep now and then. Feel free to drop me a PM if it'll help you. Take care.

[munkeyinblack]

Hi Lee just wanted to say I was on Citalopram 20mg for two weeks and they put my anxiety through the roof. When I went back to GP they put me on Sertraline and due to depression im now on 150 mg but hardly any side effects at all. Speak to your GP they are there to help. PM if u ever need a chat

Munkey x

[carolnotts]

hi lee i was also on those meds but had to change them because of the side effects i am now on propanolol and they have really helped my anxiety/panic attacks. The guilty feeling i can relate to also i am a single mum and have 4 of my 5 kids at home with me my eldest is living with her partner but for a week all i did was cry and apologise for being a burden on them and i felt guilty at the slightest thing like not showering them when i normally do things like that thankfully they understood a bit or claimed to..it does get better but you should go back and speak to your doctor. chin up x

[gypsywomen]

i hoe you feel better soon i agree drinking is not the answer it just takes edge off but dosent cure the problem

[Downsinthenorth]

Hi lee

Well, I feel guilty most of the time too - guilty if I'm not working, guilty for upsetting or annoying my friends and family, and guilty because sometimes I have been so bad that I couldn't do anything. I also do anger - anger at myself for being so pathetic. Unfortunately, these emotions don't help - we are not bad people, we are just ill.

As the others have said, you do need to go back to your doctor. Tell them how you felt on your medication. I find it does make you feel like a zombie when you first start taking it, until you body adjusts to the dosage. You will probably have to get a note from the doctor and take some sick-leave.

Please don't use alcohol to treat yourself - it's a real false friend. Believe me, I know.

I hope you feel better soon.