Just go away!!

[hugs]

Hello, I'm quite new to the site and this is only my second post.

I suffer from servere anxiety 24/7 and have done for the past year. It's all to do with my head and brain and it just won't go away. I think about my head all the time which causes me to feel pressure, swelling sensations and shooting pains just by being aware of my head, after doing this all day I often end up with a proper head ache. I'm so sure that I will eventually suffer a brain tumour, anurysm or haemerage because of this and it's just awful, it's ruining my otherwise very happy life. I've done it again all day today and it is soooo exhausting, this was all triggered by a panic attack that I had a year ago and it's just killing my happiness. I've had counselling but it didn't work, I think I'm still suffering because I really don't believe deep down inside that I'll be ok, despite what people tell me and the fact that I'm still alive after a year of doing this I still think that I'm going to die any day and it's breaking my heart. I've just had a baby and I'm planning my wedding next year, I just want this whole thing to stop. :weep: Any tips?

xxx

[Alisonj]

First off Welcome!!! Also congratulations on the baby and the upcoming wedding. Did you suffer before the birth of your baby??? I had severe postpartum anxiety after my last child was born. I had anxiety and panic since I was young but it was way worse after the baby. Hormones caused sooooo much more anxiety. The first step if you havent already is speak to your doctor and see if meds will help. Then make sure you have you time. Adapt an exercise program, eat healthy, listen to relaxation music, read books on mindfulness, get the Anxiety and Panic workbook and work through it. Keep coming on here and posting as there are sooooo many wonderful smart people full of great advice on here.
I hope that things get better very soon. Hang in there (((((HUGS)))))

[lior]

I know how you feel, thinking about something like that just makes it worse. Why don't you try to rediscover something you used to like doing - some hobby you had as a teenager or something. That way it might take your mind off it for a while. Take small steps at a time. I've found distractions useful... TV comedies help me a bit!! Good luck, and congrats on the baby and wedding :D xxx

[hugs]

Thanks people :) my full story is in the Introduce Yourself section. This all started because of a teeny tiny unrelated incident that happened at the very beginning of my pregnancy which resulted in me having a panic attack, I was then certain I had harmed my unborn baby and then after googling it just sent me doolallytap. My anxiety was horrific during the 9 months and I told my counsellor that I would be certain it would go away after giving birth and seeing that my baby was fine and healthy. I'm extremely lucky and my baby was and is absolutely perfect but sadly my anxiety got worse because I realised how perfect my life was and how happy I was and that I'm terrified of dying and losing it all. My partner asks how can I be so anxious about being so happy but I wish he could understand. My head problems are worse than ever just ache after pain after ache after pain all because I can't stop thinking about it and then this leads to other anxiety problems like churning stomach, dizzyness, panicky and all of that, it scares me because I'm worried in case I die at home and my baby is crying and nobody is here to help. I also would like another baby next year after my wedding (a reason why I don't want to start taking meds) and I have it in my head that my anxiety will stop me from being able to get pregnant or that it will affect my baby, I was alright last time because my anxiety came after I conceived.

I've tried distracting methods but it always creeps in there reminding me that it's not going away and never will :weep: and I know I'm a wierdo but whenever I look at my son or have a happy thought something that I'm looking forward to my anxiety just creeps right in there and makes me feel dreadful and that I'm going to die so I try to avoid thinking about the things that I want to think about and that's just no way to live.

Awful, awful xxx