Don't want to feel like this anymore

[eva12]

Hi all
Well I have read through some of your posts and i feel even worse than i did before.
My panic attacks started a few years ago when i stupidly betrayed one of my best friends and subsequently lost her and some other friends.The main reason i have panic i think is because of the massive guilt i feel.And i also feel that i deserve to suffer this way and don't deserve anyone' sympathy.
My friend forgave me and we are close friends again..but i still feel ashamed and guilty.Please don't think i did something too horrendous..when i'm having a good day i know that what i did was wrong but im not the only person in the world to have messed up.I've always been told what a nice person i am and what a good friend and it was hard to suddenly be unliked.In the midst of a a panic attack i feel like im the most horrible person in the world.
So far i haven't come across anyone else who has panics for similar reasons to mine...and when i read about people who worry about health problems etc i feel like i should get a grip.I'm probably not explaining myself very well..i hope there is someone out there who will understand.I just don't want to feel like this anymore :weep:

Aimie

[diane07]

Hi Aimie

A huge warm welcome to nmp.

You'll get loads of advice and support here and make some lovely friends along the way.

Best wishes

[PanicOver!!]

Hi

Stop blaming youself everyone is entitled to make mistakes
your friend has forgiven you now you must forgive yourself xx

[charlotte83]

Hi Aimie,

Don't compare your own problems and how you feel to other people. For starters, everybodys different and you can't put a label on how bad somebody feels, or think your problems are any less important. Secondly, people are human and humans make mistakes, its accepting they are mistakes and how we learn from them which is important. You have obviously accepted your mistake and your freind has forgiven you, so try and accept that and move on, you can't change the past. Guilt won't help you to get better so try and move on. I hope the site helps you, even if you don't find anyone you identify with at the moment, everyone is very suportive and non judgemental so there is no need to worry :). Take care.

[eva12]

Thankyou so much.I'm glad i've found this site.I think it's going to help and i hope i will be able to give some support too.Hope to speak to everyone in the chat room soon x

[snippy]

Hi and welcome,,,I am a newbie,,,,,all of 2 days,,, loads of help and advice from nice people 24/7,,,helped me already xx

[eva12]

That's great Snippy...I joined the site during the aftermath of an attack and instantly felt a bit better..hope to talk in chat soon x:)

[meena]

Aimie,all i can say is that your friend has forgiven you and that is the most important thing,now i would only advise you is that try forgiving your self,every human being makes mistakes.the reason your feeling guilty now is because you are not forgiving your self...so please let go of this guilt and you will feel a lot better.
kind regards.
meena.

[eva12]

Thankyou Meena.I'm really trying to forget and move on.It only takes a small thing to start me off and then it seems the world is against me as i'm sure most of you will understand.I then panic about panicking and off i go.It's a horrible cycle and i just wish it would go away.I also start to resent others and think "well why don't you feel like this?".I think of people who have done so much worse and don't feel any guilt or shame.Anyway rant over..i'm not having a good night..time for the rescue remedy and a soak in the bath i think before losing myself in a book and trying to drift off to sleep.Thanks all